self-pity
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Our Deepest Wound Can Become Our Greatest Power
Mercury retrograde thankfully ends today! Astrologers predicted this retrograde would allow us the freedom to purify our lives by releasing people, circumstances, and behaviors that are holding us back or no longer serve us. It certainly kicked up a lot of old wounds and baggage for many of my clients, and also for myself.
This was probably due to a number of reasons, including Uranus and Venus both being retrograde at the same time, and the combination of Mercury retrograde occurring along with a Full Moon in Cancer on January 17th. Many people I did readings for during this astrological period were all dealing with painful memories, unhealed traumas, and intense emotions.
At one point I decided to take a break myself, to create some space and allow my own unresolved emotion to surface. Every time I found becoming unnecessarily defensive, or attempting to place blame on others, I immediately pivoted my attention back to myself and ventured within – to where the origination of this pain truly stemmed from.
I especially found my thoughts were constantly going to my parents and particularly to my mother. My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was only 13 years old. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, with me wondering if this had anything to do with my mom always being so hard on me? I, fact, it became the official ‘excuse’ for our difficult relationship.
My recent retrograde self-exploration made me realize that no matter how hard my brain might try to rationalize this old pain, my body still would not accept it. For the first time in all these years, I finally allowed myself to go inside this wound, to examine my inner truth. I had a conversation with this old wound and allowed it to speak to me directly.
Saying ‘I’m Sorry’
I had a conversation not too long ago with friends about the increasing breakdown in civility, courtesy, and decency in society. The lack of good manners creates isolation, loneliness and a feeling of not being cared for.
I have noticed these days when you tell others you are not doing well or going through a hard time, the other person often doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You’re lucky if you get at least a blank stare! This is not how grew up. There were a few ‘odd’ people in the old days who seemed stoic or lacking in empathy – but they stuck out! Now it seems to be the norm.
I saw a post on social media recently stating that we should stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ for everything. Instead, for example, if you are late, one should say ‘thank you for waiting for me.’ I feel this ill-conceived idea is a reflection of the social issues we face as a society today.
If someone was late and didn’t say sorry (which happens often to me) I would be even more annoyed. Words are powerful. A sincere apology (and forgiveness) has tremendous power.
The idea that no apology is needed when you are late is very narcissistic in my opinion. Life is not always about us, or what suits us, because in this world what is best for others is in fact also what is best for us. Selfish, cruel, mean people end up being miserable. Generous, well-mannered, kind-hearted people are blessed.
The concept here is apparently that by offering a sincere apology you are being submissive or bowing down to someone else by degrading yourself. Well, that is simply bizarre. An apology is a way of honoring the other person and keeping your dignity?
We all make mistakes. I am usually on time, but I have been late a few times in my life. Honor and dignity are not objects of pride; they are objects of humility, compassion, and respect for others.
Your Thoughts Will Transform Your Life!
I have some fantastic news for you today! You can have a magical year if you choose it! The magic is within you. If you truly believe you are going to have a fantastic year ahead, you indeed will. What we think and choose to believe becomes our reality.
You don’t believe me? Well, think about this for a moment: I am sure you know a few fairly negative people whose lives are always in chaotic upheaval or consumed with toxic drama. You probably also know some amazingly optimistic, positive folks whose lives always seem blessed, happy and full of joy… even when things are not necessarily always going well for them. Their good karma inevitably comes to the rescue to bless them!
We create our destiny, and we do it with our thoughts. Let your thoughts direct your path to happiness, health, abundance, and good, positive people around you! You are more powerful than you may know, and it starts with your thoughts and how you choose to perceive things. Tuning into that higher frequency is where it is at!
If you want things to change for the better in your life you need to switch from being negative to thinking positive. The power is in your thoughts. What you choose to think is what you put out into the universe and what you will in return attract.
I have known many folks indulge in constant self-pity and blame others for where they are in life. No one else is responsible for where we are in life. We are in control of our lives and our own karma We are the ones who can make or break our own day, week, month, and year. It all starts with what we choose to focus on and what we chose to spend our time and energy on.
It’s time to take responsibility for where we are in life and to start making it happen. The time is now. Anything is possible. You just have to believe and take some action.
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
The Self-Healing Miracle Of Letting Go
In the mid-90s, I had the opportunity to attend The Sedona Method Technique Teacher Training course in Arizona. The experience pierced the core of my being and changed my life forever.
Initially, I was reluctant to go, because I was living in Michigan at the time with my husband and two young daughters. My youngest was around a year old and our older daughter was only five. We had not been living in Michigan very long as we had only recently moved there, and I was terribly worried about leaving them for two weeks!
Nevertheless, I convinced myself to go, because my husband had gone to a previous workshop and raved about how it transformed his life. I sensed it would be good tool to incorporate into my psychic readings and metaphysical work.
When I arrived at the workshop there were attendees from all over the world, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and even scientists. To be honest, I felt a little awkward being thrown in with a bunch of ‘genius nerds’ with various fancy post-graduate degrees. It was a bit intimidating to feel that many of them probably had a much better understanding and formal education on human behavior than I did. However, that did not prevent me from also learning this wonderful technique.
The Sedona Method is based on the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It is different from intellectual intelligence, because it refers to our ability to recognize and regulate our own emotions, and how skilled we are at using social awareness to find solutions to daily challenges and life problems.
The Sedona Method therefore teaches one how to improve your EQ. In the same way we can go to the gym to strengthen a muscle, or do brain training puzzles to improve our memory, we can also train and develop our emotional intelligence.
Our natural impulse when something makes us sad, angry, or fearful, is to resist and fight back, or shut down emotionally to it. Emotional intelligence requires that we take a step back, take a breath, and release the urge to go with a kneejerk reaction of firing back or shutting down.
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.