personal growth
Sometimes It’s Okay To Keep Your Distance!
Many of us have that one relative we do get along with. In every family there is a ‘Cousin John’ or an ‘Aunt Lydia’ who we simply cannot stand. Try as we might, we just cannot find it in our hearts to love them unconditionally.
In my case it is an uncle who’s views and opinions I just cannot tolerate. I despise all forms of racism, misogyny, and bigotry, and I am also an avid supporter of the LGBTQ community. I have no patience with people who criticize or belittle others for who they were born to be. It is unacceptable and despicable.
For many years now I have been consciously practicing healthy boundaries with relatives and people in general. I preach it! Healthy boundaries are vital for one’s mental health, personal growth and emotional well-being.
My Grandmother and I got along so well when she was in this life. We were like two peas in a pod. When she eventually came to live with us later in her life, there was however one issue that caused tension between us – her son.
My uncle was so out of line, in so many ways that I just could not tolerate having him anywhere near me. He is an extremely hateful man who has no qualms about freely spewing his vitriolic prejudice, verbal abuse and bigoted views in front of anyone who cares to listen, including the children in the family.
My grandmother stubbornly remained loyal to her son through it all, and she could now understand why I could not accept him. She said that it was such a shame that we could not all get along, while I felt it as a shame that he is so hateful. She would make excuses for him, saying for example that he was bullied in school. But I felt he should work on himself, instead of hating on other folks for no reason. She could not see my perspective from her way of thinking. Continue reading
Making A Meaningful Change
Most of us have been struggling with stress, anxiety and depression over the past two years. Whatever your personal struggles are, they are real and valid. The pandemic has been affecting everyone differently.
It is important to acknowledge your feelings and deal with it. Ignoring your struggles will only allow it to become bigger issues. Stress and trauma takes its toll on all of us, especially if left unattended. The best thing you can do for yourself and the people around you is to process it and work towards healing.
It is also vital to understand that your joy and happiness is not dependent on other people, material things, or external circumstances. It can only be found within yourself. And often the only way to access this happiness and joy within is to make some real, meaningful changes in your life.
Many people never find their joy and happiness, because they do not know what brings them joy and makes them truly happy. This is the big question. Look within and find makes you happiest. Then concentrate on that. Make a plan and start working towards it. It may sound simplistic, but it will soon begin to manifest in your life if you believe it.
For example, if you want to be in a happy, healthy relationship and you are tired of the bad relationship you are currently in, decide to make the change. Simply choose to be happy. You deserve to be happy and to be loved. Decide that you want to make it happen. It really is as simple as that.
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
Recycle Your Blessings This Winter Season
As we approach winter in the northern hemisphere, let us be inspired by the seasonal change. Look around and observe nature as it prepares itself for a period of dormancy that leads to renewal and rebirth in the spring.
Change is the catalyst for growth in our lives. Some choose to think of winter as an unpleasant, ‘lifeless’ time, but in truth it is a golden opportunity to connect with the deeper realms of our mind and soul.
Embrace the profound stillness that this season offers and use the longer nights as opportunity for conscious self-reflection. Sit with this stillness and claim your majestic place on the sacred throne that was created solely for you.
Take back your personal power from the turbulence of the outer world and allow the chatter to grow quiet. Trust that in the midst of your most pressing thoughts and that which nags your soul, there is the Divine right path to oneness, healing, balance, peace, reconciliation, spiritual recognition, and soul empowerment.
Along with the obvious holiday cheer, this is one of the many gifts of the winter season; connecting to the eternal flame of the universe that shines on each of us.
As I ponder the personal changes I wish to embark on, I am reminded that nothing new can happen without letting go of the old. Many years ago, a dear friend implemented an annual winter ritual of clearing her closet of personal items she no longer desired. This is always performed just before the New Year.
I recall asking whether she was maybe acting too hastily in letting go of some of her prized possessions, as some of the discarded items were relatively new. She responded that she was creating space for new gifts to enter her life, while passing the old on to others who might be blessed by receiving it. My friend essentially spoke of recycling her blessings, a concept that was new to me at the time. And in doing so, she created a special karma for herself that opened the path for new delights to enter her life.
Transitioning With Grace
Autumn always awakens my awareness of transitions. Not only does the entire scenery change color, but each individual leaf on every tree is in a constant shift of shades of greens, golds, yellows, oranges, and reds. With every shifting shade and combination of them, the pattern of the palette continuously alters too.
Then, of course, there is the falling of the leaves – the gradual transition from tree to ground, from full foliage to bareness in various new measures day by day. The rise and set of the sun, and the length of the night and light incrementally inch through their own thresholds as well.
Like the changing season, life is full of transitions. From the moment the soul enters the womb, an endless sequence of them begins. The body develops in a rapid succession of changes, then carries the soul from womb to world.
In the world, the embodied soul then undergoes transition through various ages and stages, growing from infant to toddler to child to adolescent to adult, until gradually winding down to leave the body behind and proceed to the next one or world.
In between, you and I – the embodied souls – may face a multitude of additional transitions in relationships, careers, residences, levels of consciousness, and more. Such transitions – even the best of them – are not easy. They naturally incorporate intervals of instability in the liminal spaces between here and there. Transitions entail shedding, releasing, letting go of the old that was, and then birthing and rebirthing the next and new phase that will be. They empty us out and fill us up, again and again. Transitions are not easy; they may even make us feel queasy!
So, how can we move through the endless array of life’s transitions gracefully? As with all things, there are probably as many ways as there is individuality among people. What I share are simply some of the ones I have found especially helpful.
Embracing The Uncertainty Of Change
One of the earliest life lessons I had to learn the hard way is that change is the only thing that ever consistently happens in life. We cannot avoid it. It is fundamental to our journey in this lifetime to learn to embrace change, as without it we cannot grow and evolve as spiritual beings.
Yet, change causes much fear and apprehension for many people. It can be daunting. This is in fact one of the reasons why clients contact me for advice and predictions. In life it is vital to always be prepared for change.
Being mentally and emotionally prepared gives us a greater sense of control over any forthcoming event and thus alleviate some of its stress. Who wants to remain stagnant anyway? It is vital to look for the good that change can bring, rather than dwell on any potential negative impact it could bring about. We need to take on board the necessity to learn and strengthen from it.
Change comes in many forms. For example, it is estimated some people change their homes up to eight times in their lifespan. How stressful is that? But instead of focusing too heavily on the downside, such as the stress of buying, selling and packing, spirit advises we see a new home as a beautiful new chapter in our lives. Think of it as an exciting fresh start and allow yourself time to adjust. You may soon be happier in your new abode than you could ever imagine!
Beginning a new job is equally stressful. For whatever reason you find yourself in new employment, the very thought of walking into a new workplace on a Monday morning, meeting new colleagues in unfamiliar environment is always daunting. However, rather than be afraid, advises spirit, why not congratulate yourself for being there in the first place?
The Fierce Journey To The Heart Of The Goddess
There are many divine beings around us throughout our lifetime. When I do a reading, a variety of angels, spirit guides, ascended masters, and goddess archetypes may show up to lend their wisdom, love, and guidance to my clients, for whatever situation they are going through.
Not only do we have guardian angels constantly with us, but we also have various ‘inner band’ and ‘outer band’ spirit guides who interchange through different periods and cycles in our lifetime. We also have deities or higher-level beings with us during certain times.
Recently I have had many encounters with the goddess Kuan Yinin during readings. She is the Buddhist bodhisattva associated with compassion and was first known as the ‘goddess of mercy’ among Jesuit missionaries in China. Guanyin, Guan Yin or Kuan Yin, is short for Kuan-shi Yin, meaning she who ‘observes the cries of humanity.’
She is a popular goddess in Chinese folk religion and worshipped in many communities and cultures all over the world. In the mid-17th century outlawed Christians in Japan created statues of the Catholic Virgin Mary disguised as Kuan Yin, known as the ‘Maria Kannon.’
I have always associated her with compassion, kindness, and forgiveness, but I was recently reminded that Kuan Yin rides a dragon! This makes a lot of sense to me, now that I have examined her legend more closely.
Kuan Yin is teaching us by example. To arrive at a place of compassion and kindness, we must first piece through some uncomfortable feelings of anger, sadness, and fear, to arrive at the ‘heart of the goddess.’ Kuan Yin rides her dragon of fierce bravery through stormy waters and scorching fires. She follows through with the journey to a place of completion and does not avoid the challenges that confront her along the way.