joy
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
As the days get longer and the weather gets warmer in the Northern Hemisphere, there is a feeling of lightness that permeates everything. The saying “April showers bring May flowers,” is especially true this year, with wet weather helping the grass to turn green and the perennials to bloom.
Around the world, hope currently springs eternal, as more vaccines are being administered and COVID-19 statistics are starting to improve. We are all ready to get back to a semblance of normalcy, after more than a year of our lives being turned upside down and families separated.
Some of us are still in lockdown or subject to various restrictions. Some days are better than others. We are not entirely out of the woods yet, but at least it seems we are getting there, slowly but surely.
This past year of social restriction and isolation has however been an opportunity to reflect and make some needed changes to our lives. Although most people did not anticipate such an upheaval for so long, the additional time in isolation has allowed many of us to re-evaluate our life choices and really focus on what we want to accomplish in future.
Some of us have concentrated on charity. Some have turned to activism. Some have focused on self-care and self-healing. Regardless of our choice of focus, many of us have become more determined to make a difference in the world. This truly is one of the many blessings that has come from all the chaos.
It is important, however, that when we set these new intentions for our future, not to overreach with impossible goals or temporary plans. If feasible, choose a course of action that will be sustainable long after the immediate pressure of the pandemic has dissipated.
Journeys And Destinations
One often hears the saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination.’ But what does it truly mean? I believe the events of the past year has brought many of us to a deeper understanding.
The importance of the ‘journey’ became more evident with so many cultural holidays, birthday parties and family gatherings that had to be cancelled during the worst of the pandemic. For example, the significance of planning these special events became especially obvious this past Christmas, as well as the many cancelled festivals here in Spain.
The Christmas holiday season is usually a hectic time, with much hustle and bustle, including the mandatory family conflicts or ‘differences of opinion.’ But the joy of the season leading up to Christmas and New year is typically a time of excitement, especially for children.
People normally spend lots of time planning these celebrations and the excitement leading up to any gathering is often more fun than the event itself! Not having these occasions to look forward to has created a void in the lives of many people all over the world.
Instead, Christmas 2020 was a difficult time for many. It certainly brought up a myriad of personal challenges and negative emotions, particularly for those unable to visit loved ones, or not being able to have relatives home for the holidays.
Here in Spain, the locals are constantly planning their many fiestas. Each town and province has its own special festivals and cultural traditions, especially in the summer months. I have even witnessed the locals take to the streets in very cold weather, just to enjoy the vibe and camaraderie!
The Spaniards have a deep sense of community and they love letting their hair down whenever they can. Having grown used to the culture here, it made the silence of the empty streets this past year even more jarring than it might have been somewhere else.
New Hope And Appreciation For The Future
We have all been suffering some form of hardship during the Covid-19 pandemic, including restrictions on our lifestyle, financial losses, unemployment, bankruptcy, physical and mental illness, as well as the tragic death of loved ones. Yet, despite all the adversity and chaos, our planet has continued to turn on her axis.
In the Northern Hemisphere, we are finally starting to enjoy milder weather as the days once again get longer. The sunshine and gradual warmth feels so remarkably good after such a isolating, traumatic winter. It is a time of renewal and rebirth. Life continues to spring eternal and there is a feeling of new hope and anticipation in the air.
Although we are not completely out of the woods yet, we can be thankful that our scientific experts and medical heroes are in the process of gradually resolving the many challenges we still face. There is finally a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
The extended isolation of the past year has afforded many people the time to reflect on what is truly important in life and to make the necessary adjustments to live a more balanced life of joy and fulfillment.
For many of us the importance of family and friendship has emerged front and center. For others, the privilege of gainful employment or a healthy mind and body has become their focus.
Regardless, the impact over the past year has been so great that most of us are less likely to take anything in life for granted the way we might have in the past.
These days, even the most mundane tasks and events have taken on a much greater significance. The flexibility of simply going out for no particular reason, or attending school in person, or going to a shopping mall, feels exciting and different. Just having the option of eating in a restaurant or getting a decent haircut is now a luxury that is greatly appreciated.
How To Practice The Art Of Gratitude
My life has not been without its challenges. Nevertheless, I love my job, have a beautiful son, an adorable husband and supportive friends and family. Therefore, irrespective of current world events, I genuinely have a lot to be grateful for!
Gratitude is beneficial for all of us, including physically, emotionally and spiritually. For one, appreciating the good things in our lives helps us to be more tolerant and forgiving, with a higher sense of life satisfaction. Grateful people also tend to have more hope and inner peace and feel less anxious and alone.
God, Spirit, the Universe loves gratitude! Those who are sincerely grateful are blessed with even more to be grateful for. Like attracts like.
How does one ensure that you practice the art of gratitude ever day? The following guidelines should help:
Seek Out The Positive
In my own personal research into positive psychology, I became aware of something referred to as negativity bias. In case you have not heard of this, it means that our negative thoughts tend to be more dominant than the positive ones.
An excellent way of counteracting this negative way of thinking is to seek out at least three things in your life every day that you are well and truly grateful for. Try to make this a daily habit. By doing so, it should have you smiling in next to no time!
I remember when I was about 26 years old and in a particularly challenging place in my life. I was advised by a psychic, whom I reached out to with my troubles, to watch the film or read the book, The Color Purple by Alice Walker. It is some of the best advice I have every received. Once I had read the last chapter, I felt so grateful for whatever I had in my life.
Put Down The Phone And Start Living
I used to walk around the lake in the small town where I used to live. It was a picturesque hike that took you all the way around a large body of water that fed into the lake.
It was also a popular camping ground. Many city folks came to our little rural town to camp. Day after day, I saw them walking their dogs around the campsite, or relaxing on the park benches overlooking the water.
But nobody seemed to be appreciating much of the beauty of the natural surroundings. No, they were all too busy looking down at their phones!
In the good old days, people used to love breathing the fresh air, watching the children playing, looking for baby lizards on the sunbaked rocks, admiring a newlywed bride dancing on the beach, or marveling at the curious formations of the clouds above. These many beautiful nuances and subtleties in the world around us, are what make life joyful and precious.
Sadly, even seeing people walk their dogs saddens me these days. Everyone appears to be obsessed with their phones only. The dog owners hardly notice their own dogs, never mind anything else around them. They miss out on their dogs’ cute moments of joy and excitement.
Someday, when their dog is no longer around, they might regret missing these precious moments. So many lost opportunities and forfeited memories. Or maybe they will still just be staring at their phone.
Once, I saw a couple at the lake. They were also campers. They were lounging by the water, with their chairs far apart. Of course, this was of no concern to them, because they were both far too busy on their phones to even notice.
I’m sure they were posting pictures they took in front of the lake on social media. By the time they leave, they would have only those photos, but no real experiences or memories of ever being there. They were not at the lake, they were in cyberspace – the cell phone rabbit hole.
True Love Has No Time Limit Or Deadline
We live in a busy world where most of us have gotten used to a very hurried life. Everything is on a strict schedule and time limit, because we now judge everything this way. We have become a restless society demanding instant solutions and immediate gratification in all things.
If the line is too long at the supermarket or fast food restaurant, some of us get upset. If we have to wait for our doctor when we have an appointment, we become annoyed. Some cut in front of others, or even cross streets while the light is still red, because they hate to wait.
Similarly, if we do not get an immediate reaction from our latest love interest, some of us do not become just a little restless or anxious. No, they get really upset!
If this kind of hurried, rushed way of life plagues you, then you may definitely need an major attitude adjustment. Because your naturally loving heart and your capacity for love and romance may be in serious trouble.
Maybe your heart never got the memo that there was no need to constantly hurry up and adhere to time limits and deadlines. What happened to dating? Romantic chats? Patiently anticipated expressions of affection? Dozens of love letters, and more recently emails and test messages? The joint holidays and weekends away? The looking forward to new adventures together?
What happened? What happened to living wholeheartedly in the moment? What happened to just enjoying the ride without constantly watching the calendar or the clock?
The one joy that we all desire and cherish is being loved and feeling special in someone’s eyes. To be affirmed, to be accepted and appreciated, to belong. It gives us an inner peace and happiness that cannot be found in any other way. Love and belonging is a fundamental necessity in everyone’s life. No matter how busy you are. Continue reading