forgiveness
Soulmate Love Requires Patience, Hope and Perseverance
Should I wait for him? This is a question I have been asked many times in my work. Especially when there is a deep, strong soul-to-soul love, with a sense of eternity and meaning to it, this question naturally arises when such partners are parted.
The answer, I find, is within. It is not a matter of should or shouldn’t, good or bad, right or wrong, nor even a matter of the outcome. It is a matter of heart. And it is a very individual choice.
An intuitive reading can support, but not substitute the process of discovering such a personal choice. As an empathic intuitive, for example, I can offer you a description of the energy I feel around your relationship situation, to provide you with information that may help you discern. I can also support you in trusting your own heart, and then in moving forward accordingly.
But the ultimate answer always lays within your own love and desires. From my experience of love in separation, I have learned that the path of patience, if chosen, will call for a profound degree of it, along with several stepping stones of spiritual qualities and concepts to uphold it.
Love between souls is a spiritual exchange. It steps back and views the beloved through the lens of eternity. It sees the individual spirit soul – the birthless, deathless being within – who is on an evolutionary journey, passing through human experience in this world.
Your Soul Contract For Spiritual Evolution
Your soul is quietly pushing you to experience and achieve certain things in this lifetime, because before we came here we designed a soul contract. There are certain challenges and traumas we put into this contract, to elevate our consciousness. Through our tears we conquer our fears.
We don’t elevate all at the same rate. Our purpose here is to elevate spiritually as speedily as we can, without harming or hurting others. The purpose of our evolution process is to complete the contract, or fulfill the mission.
Each person’s journey is unique and very personal. Sometimes our families do not support us in our soul evolution, and friends may not understand what is going on in your life, but this is not about anyone else except you!
When we evolve spiritually, we develop a higher consciousness and become a better version of ourselves. But in order to elevate, we have to want to learn, grow and expand. In order to evolve, you have to let go of anything that is holding you back. People often struggle with this, but no matter what, we have to be willing to change and grow. To become our better self, we have to learn our lessons in this lifetime.
We all have our own path and our spiritual journey, because we have our own specific blueprint when we arrive on the planet. It pretty much outlines what we are intending to accomplish in this lifetime, and why we chose to come here at this time.
Transcending Turbulence And Restoring Peace Within
One of the most moving metaphors I have ever heard, describes the calm that rests beneath the surface of the ocean. While there may be waves and turbulence on the top, if you dive down deeper, you will come to waters that are more still.
Similarly, the troubles of life that bring disturbance to the body, mind, and relationship dynamics of the world, occur at levels which are external to the eternal self. By going deeper, peace within can be found.
Spiritual traditions of the world define the self and the soul in varying ways. The ancient Vedic texts, for example, identifies the individual soul as measuring one ten-thousandth the size of the tip of a hair, and states that it is located in the region of the heart, seated beside the Paramatma, or Supreme Soul (God).
In the Vedic tradition, consciousness is recognized as the symptom of the soul, which is carried throughout the body by the blood, as it is circulated by the beating heart. When the heart stops and consciousness leaves the body, it is because the soul has departed.
Lord Krishna further describes in Bhagavad-gita that this atomic soul is never born, and never dies. It is immutable, unchangeable, indestructible, and always aloof from matter and its influences.
These spiritual teachings go on to highlight that the pure eternal soul is one’s real identity – the ‘I’ or ‘me’ felt by each and every living being. In this world, it has become temporarily covered by a subtle body made up of mind, intelligence, and false ego, as well as by the physical body comprised of earth, water, fire, air, and ether. In this state, the modes of material nature act upon it, and one acts out various behaviors compelled by the energies of those coverings. But the soul itself remains untouched and unaffected.
Resentment And The Empath
Do you have a tendency to re-experience past injustices — real or perceived – while holding on to those old feelings of anger connected to them? If so, it means you are harboring some form of resentment. Empaths are especially prone to resentment, simply because we tap into emotions, past, present, and future, much more than most people.
Resentment forms when we become angry towards a person or situation, and then hold onto that anger. Some people harbor their resentments for many years, refusing to let go of it. Over time, whatever caused the original anger and initially led to the resentment, may be forgotten, but the resentment remains. It is like a still-smoldering ember left after the flames of a fire have subsided. The fire no longer rages, but the ember remains smoldering, and all it takes is a spark to set that fire raging again.
For the empath this rekindled ‘fire’ may be triggered every time they enter a new relationship. No harm has been done, yet, but the empath may be so on guard, and overly vigilant to any slight that resembles their past hurt, that it easily sets off another destructive blaze. They expect the worst and try to protect themselves against it, but in the process the thing they fear the most may re-emerge from the past, unhealed resentment.
For many empaths, lack of boundaries also lead to dashed expectations, typically followed by resentment. As an empath, you feel the heart of the person, and know that there is love. Once connected into the, “I know they love me,” their bad behavior can be overlooked. Continue reading
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.