forgiveness
Free Yourself With The Power Of Forgiveness
How can we possibly reconcile the feelings of anger and betrayal with a need to forgive? Are we compromising our integrity in doing so?
Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility… but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really one of the few things in life that really matters, whether it means forgiving ourselves, or someone else. It is said that allowing someone to continuously upset you, is to allow them to ‘live rent-free inside your mind.’
Others hurt us all the time. Holding on to this hurt for long periods of time can damage us physically and psychologically. And then there are those ‘little things’… like someone cutting you off in traffic, or forgetting an important date.
One thing forgiveness does not do, is make us forget the source of the pain. What it does is allow a reconciliation with what happened, and allows us to move on in a productive way. When you were a child, perhaps you got hurt with a hot stove burner or electrical outlet. You didn’t (hopefully) spend the rest of your life being angry at stoves or electrical outlets! This is basically how forgiveness also works. We can acknowledge that someone or something caused us to hurt, and be aware of how that happened, but still move past it and get on with our lives.
Holding on to anger and bitterness will color all your relationships, until you learn to forgive and let go. If, for example, you ended a toxic relationship and decided to start dating again, you might not be able to fully trust, because of the possibility of reliving that pain. A truly intimate relationship will never happen without forgiveness.
Extend Yourself The Grace Of Forgiveness
If you are an empath you may believe that forgiveness should be easy for you, or at least easier than it is for others. But I’ve spoken to many empaths and highly sensitive people over the years who all struggle with forgiveness.
One of the main issues with forgiveness for the empath is that we feel another’s emotions intensely, literally as our own. This muddies the waters considerably, because it tends to blur boundaries. Blurred boundaries can often lead to a closed mouth for an empath. Why? Because it is difficult for us, especially in childhood or in romantic relationships, to know where we end and another begins.
It is easy for others to manipulate appropriate boundaries with an empath, or to erase them altogether. All the empath knows is that there is pain, sadness, a sense of frustration, or anger. If you are an empath, then the question becomes are you angry with them, or yourself? Should you have been able to foresee the catastrophe happening, the relationship ending, job imploding, and so on. This leads to self-doubt and the rehashing of incidents that occurred years ago…with no resolution.
In the meantime, every time an empath thinks about the situation, past or present, we feel it…and the cycle continues.
Yes, you are empathic, intuitive, even psychic, but that does not make you immune to being human, neither does it make you all-knowing or all-seeing, especially when it comes to your own life, childhood or relationships.
Do It Anyway
No matter what we go through in life and with who, we always come back to the same place… a familiar place of being alone. The thought occurred to me the other day that we come into this world alone, and we go out alone.
Though we may be surrounded by others, at the end of the day, we are still alone when we go to sleep at night. Even if we are married, or in a relationship with someone who sleeps next to us, we still enter into the sleep state or dream state, alone.
Have you ever noticed that people who are comfortable being alone, have somehow mastered being alone without being lonely? There is a true comfort, freedom, and delight in being by oneself, alone. When we are alone, we can take an honest inventory of our life, who we choose to spend time with, and also decide how we wish to spend our time.
The relationship arena seems to be one of the most challenging areas of life. We all fall into traps and pitfalls that can steer us away from our natural state of happiness , which we come home to when we are alone. However, relationships also seem to provide a fast track for our own personal growth by revealing how we interact with other people.
Our relationships point out areas within ourselves that may require growth or increased self-love. Simply put, relationships show us exactly where we need to focus on to come back to a state of wholeness.
How To Block The Energy Of Negative People
It seems that negativity and negative people are becoming more prevalent these days. Just a decade ago, I can remember people being afraid to be “publicly negative.” No one wanted to be seen as being negative, or as someone that brought others down.
I find myself avoiding large groups and big events, because I just don’t want negativity and lower vibrations impacting my happy life. But I do go to activities and fun events for the sake of my 3-year-old child, and often some of the moms, women who are forming impressionable minds, can’t seem to help themselves, but go to the negative! A few weeks ago, for example, I complimented a mom on her daughter’s excellent vocabulary and she told me no one had ever said anything like that to her before. She said people just tear each other down nowadays. How sad.
I am currently five months pregnant. I keep having other moms asking me how I am feeling, which is very nice. However, when I say I feel great, they seem surprised, even sometimes put off. They ask, “You don’t have any unpleasant symptoms?” Well, yes. Of course, I do. I’m pregnant! But whatever the symptom is, mild though it may be, it is still a gift to me – a pleasant reminder that I am so incredibly lucky. Even when I got morning sickness, I remember thinking during it, it’s okay, it’s okay, it will be over soon. You’re lucky. This means you’re pregnant!
Actually, I am up writing this blog at 3:00am, because I have pregnancy insomnia. Right now, I am up, because I am pregnant. It’s okay. I’ll sleep properly again in another five years, when both of my kids are older. Meanwhile, I’m getting a lot done that I can’t do during the day.
Living Life – A Message From My Guides
Are you living the life of your dreams? Are you happy or content most of the time? Do you face challenges with confidence, or perhaps dread? Do you compare yourself with others and feel sad, miserable, or even angry at their success? Regardless of whether you feel as though you are at the bottom of the barrel, or soaring among the clouds, there is always room for improvement, and it is never too late to get started.
One of the biggest errors in judgment is all-or-nothing thinking. You do not need to drop everything in your life and start with a blank slate. Not only would that be impossible, it would be totally impractical. Your life so far is a culmination of all your experiences, education, career opportunities and family interactions, and cannot be wiped away like a chalkboard. Instead, you can, and should, start by making course corrections and taking baby steps in the right direction.
Set your intention first. Visualize the end result. Begin the process of redesigning your life gently and allow the universe to conspire in your favor over time. Whether you choose to go back to school, read a book, take a course, attend a conference, learn online or join a group, do something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Do it because you want to, not because you have to.
Set realistic goals and deadlines. If you are juggling a family or career or both, be sensible in your expectations of yourself. Things take time and if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Do not expect overnight results. Life is not a success-only journey, however, each setback holds a series of invaluable lessons. Deal with each issue, learn from the experience and move on with confidence. Continue reading
Taking On Karmic Debt
If a person broke into my home and committed a robbery, the police would definitely be called, charges would be laid, and the ramifications of that particular act would remain in the capable hands of the legal system. Since this is a willful, intentional act, that individual deserves whatever consequences would be dished out to him.
His ongoing problem, which he may not be aware of, is that although he would be paying his penalty, perhaps with a prison sentence or something similar, he still would be accumulating also a karmic debt. This he most likely would not even consider at the time.
Karmic debts do not disappear. One must always account for them at some given time. It is a universal law that never wavers.
You would most assuredly agree with me that this kind of crime is a clear one that is easily interpreted. A person wanted what was not his. However, this did not deter him. He knowingly, on a conscience level, sought to commit an unlawful act, despite the grief and trauma it might cause his victim. His wrongdoing is plain to see and, despite restitution or an apology, profound damage was done to the owner of the property he stole.
But suppose another character committed a different kind of crime. One that was not so blatantly noticeable, however, it caused the same emotional harm to another, or possibly even worse. The person might knowingly and willingly create a scenario that leads to a series of events that becomes extremely traumatic or detrimental to another.
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.