The Man Who Pushed Me Off A Cliff

Since I was a child, I have had fragmented memories of my past lives. These flashbacks are all parts of those lives and lessons that pertain to my soul growth and karma in this lifetime. So far, all of my past life memories have had to do with someone I have interacted with here, in my current incarnation. In other words, I have met all of the people in my past life memories in this lifetime also.

One such memory of a past life, is of a man I was married to in Ireland. We were quite young. I would say no more than 20. We were poor and lived in a little cottage, near a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was a modest, but breathtakingly beautiful home and land. I also remember that I had long, curly red hair.

Sadly, my husband in that lifetime was physically and emotionally abusive. He was always worried that men would desire me and take me away from him. But I had never been with any man but him. I didn’t want to be with my husband, but I certainly didn’t want another man to control and own me either.

He kept me prisoner in our home and refused to let me leave. My solace was the church. My soul’s water and food was the sunlight, and the sounds and smell of the ocean. My fantasies consisted of building a boat and heading out into the vastness, toward the sunset, letting the ocean’s waves carry me away to wherever she wished me to be. Interestingly, in my present life, nature has always been my sanctuary.

Just because you have a past with someone, doesn’t mean you should have a future with them ~ Robert Tew

My husband came home in a rage one day. He thought I had finally abandoned him; that I had escaped from the house. He flew into a rage. I ran out to the cliff, trying to get away. He chased me and grabbed my arm. He began strangling me. The power of his rage was overwhelming. Then he accidentally pushed me off the cliff!

To this day, I can still feel the sensation of falling in my body. To this day, I still have a fear of heights and a fear of falling. I hate roller-coasters or any rides where there is the sensation of falling. I know what it feels like for real, and it is not a game or a pleasant sensation for me, especially since it is accompanied by fear and rage. Since I was a child, I was afraid someone would push me off a cliff or a tall building. Needless to say, my visits to New York have always been a nightmare.

Fortunately, the Universe is kind. I left my body before I hit the ground. I saw and heard my body hit the ground, but my soul was above my body, heading toward the Source. I could feel my husband’s shock and pain. His need to control, his insecurities, his ownership and rage took away the one thing he loved. He lived a miserable alcoholic life after that, and eventually married another woman and also treated her horribly, because she was not the woman he really loved.

It was truly a life of building negative karma for him. I featured as a martyr and sacrifice – a role everyone will eventual play. If you are an old soul, you have most likely already played this role and made the sacrifice several times for other’s soul growth.

In this life, in my mid-thirties, I met a man whom I had no interest in. I mean, no interest. He was not my type. Yet, I couldn’t help but date him for some reason. I remember telling a friend I was just curious about what this compulsion was, since it certainly wasn’t sexual or romantic. It wasn’t even worthy of friendship. I just wanted to know who he was, and why he came into my life. You have probably already figured out who he was, but at the time I had not.

Past life healing experiences, for reasons that I cannot explain, almost always lead to rapid improvements in the patients’ lives ~ Dr Gerald Edelstein

I had a nagging suspicion, which I eventually expressed to my friends, that he had a violent streak. He seemed angry. However, I never saw that side of him. He was polite and kind. I would certainly say he was ‘restrained’ and cool. Not my normal type. He was bright and analytical. His family came from great wealth. He went to the best and most expensive schools. We had some interesting intellectual conversations, which was appealing, but not enough for romance or a relationship. I felt no connection to him at all, so why did I want to get to know him? There was always this sense of internal rage looming over him.

One day, he casually mentioned that his siblings call him “Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde.” Why? Because he had an unpredictable temper. Ah ha, I thought! I knew it! Again, I never personally saw it, but that confirmed my intuition.

Apparently, he had a lot of abandonment and rejection issues (clearly still working on that from his past life). His biological father abandoned him, and his mother married a wonderful man who treated him as if he was his own biological son. However, he couldn’t get over being abandoned by his biological father, and being the only sibling who wasn’t biologically related to both parents.

Despite how well he was treated, and the Ivy League, elite education, he expressed to me many times that he felt a deep sadness and felt different. We never became romantic. He was always looking at other women (ironic since he had accused me of infidelity in our past life). I wasn’t attracted to him before that, but that was even more of a turn off. I broke things off with him, frustrated that I never found out what the need to get to know this person was about.

About a month later he called me and asked me to go see a ballet. He had “mysteriously” received two tickets to a performance – a story I did not believe. Ironically, the ballet was a production of Romeo and Juliet. I’m sure his soul picked that without him realizing the significance. I was still curious who this guy really was, so I agreed to go out with him again.

Sometimes, soulmates may meet, stay together until a task or life lesson is completed, and then move on. This is not a tragedy, only a matter of learning ~ Brian Weiss

After the show, we went to dinner at a restaurant overlooking the city. I remember vividly, looking down at the parking lot, several stories down, and feeling his breath on my neck as he looked at me looking down. Then I looked up at him. He was inches from my face and he had an evil look in his eyes and a disturbing, Cheshire Cat grin on his face. That was the moment I recognized who he was!

I heard a voice in my head saying, “He’s the one.” I sensed the soul energy of my husband from that past life. I could see him in the glare in his eyes. He even looked somewhat like my past life husband! It was like something out of a paranormal thriller. My heart raced, my Yoga breathing kicked in. I could tell he had a primal urge to push me over once again, because I had rejected him again!

However, I also could tell that his many lifetimes since the one in Ireland, had taught him restraint. I realized I was not in any real danger. I could tell that his soul remembered the anger and although I do not believe he had any conscious memory of our past life together, the feeling of it stirred in his soul. I had no anger, no fear, no attachment. I wanted nothing from him, but for him to find peace and happiness.

I never saw him again. Our karma was cut clean.