truth
Slow And Steady Is The Best Path To Lasting Love
In today’s superficial world of online dating, hookup apps and sexual promiscuity, it’s has become a daunting challenge to find a suitable partner who is genuinely ready for long-term commitment and relationship monogamy.
Also, in the dating scene, people typically wear masks, especially during the initial introduction. Everyone wants to give a good first impression and rarely want to discuss their truth, or past traumas. Dates also like to exaggerate or omit information, to make themselves sound more important or successful than they really are.
A few weeks into a new relationship is usually when the cracks start to show and the truth begins to float to the surface. For example, he comes from a good family and appears to be successful on paper, but he is emotionally fragile, or verbally abusive and narcissistic in relationships. Or, he claims he is totally single when you first meet him, but there’s actually someone else in his life and they’re not breaking that up anytime soon, because they have money invested together or are married.
We too often get so caught up in the fuzzy feeling and fantasy of a person possibly being ‘the one,’ that we forget to question if they are in alignment with what we truly need to add value to our life. Always listen to what a date is telling you, without sugar-coating it for yourself.
The Challenge To Remain In The Light
What is the one area of your life that you would prefer to improve or change entirely? Mine without question would be to remain in the Light.
We live in a digital age, where we have instant access to information of all varieties… some truthful, others not so accurate. Once in a while this leads to something of value, but for the most part it is just a bombardment of noise, which is mostly designed to make us purchase and consume more products and services than we really need.
Scare tactics, for example, encourage us to buy more medication and nutritional supplements than any reputable doctor would recommend. Fearmongering convinces us to install excessive additional security for our homes. And airbrushed models tempt us into buying an endless assortment of goods that seldom add much value to our daily lives.
Meanwhile many of us have the tendency to complain about the government, the exorbitant rates charged for our monthly utility services, and the escalating cost of food and basic necessities.
The personal challenge for me is to allow myself the guilty pleasure of discussing any of these topics without vibrating into a negative state of mind. I can physically feel, in my body, the moment my energy starts to get into that negative energy frequency.
Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?
A client recently shared with me how being honest in her work environment did not serve her best interest in the end. Being completely honest caused her to not receive her annual salary increase. She feels that had she used a lie about being ill, or even having a flat tire, as a reason for not making it to work on time, as opposed to going back to sleep after the alarm went off, she would not have had her employment record blemished. Despite meeting targets and good customer feedback during the previous twelve months, being honest had actually gone against her in this instance.
Our conversation reminded me of a similar incident I experienced myself many years ago.
My father and I had entered into business with partners on the island of Tenerife, in the Canary Islands. Whilst my father was winding up the sale of the family home, after his divorce from my mother, I’d gone ahead and rented a small apartment close to the business, whilst learning the ins and outs from the family we were going into business with.
There was a lot of building going on, in and around that area. My apartment was owned by the construction company, whose office was on the ground floor of my apartment building. On a regular basis I passed the workmen, as I entered and left the building. Despite all the construction activity, my apartment was private, secure, and surrounded by a balcony with blinds, which reached halfway down the window. Nobody from below could actually see inside.
When Your Man Is Not Ready To Commit
I often hear how wonderful the guy is that she is dating… if only he would commit to taking their relationship to the next level! If a woman is not satisfied with the way things are going and what she is getting from the relationship, should she continue to wait for him?
By patiently waiting for him against your better judgment, he only learns that he can get away with his lack of commitment, especially if he feels comfortable with what he is getting from the relationship. This way a pattern is formed.
So, how do you avoid wasting some of the best years of your life waiting on a guy that is never going to commit? well, right from the start you tell him what your looking for and what your expectations are. But handle it carefully, after all you don’t want to scare him away before things even get off the ground!
But do let him know how you feel about dating, long-term relationships, commitment, marriage, children, and whatever else may be important to you. This will inform him, so that you have a better shot at being on the same page. If he starts to make excuses, or says that he is not interested in a long-term commitment, at least not right now, then accept his words as the truth.
The Power Of Observation
In this busy world we rarely take the time to observe things around us. Most people see and feel things only through their own personal lens. Of course, it is only normal to identify with your own feelings and the things you have seen, heard or experienced. But sometimes so much of what we believe as reality is the only way we will accept it. It is necessary in some situations to take a step back and observe a situation, look at all sides of it and try to remain neutral.
I have worked with some clients in my hypnosis practice who just can’t seem to look at a situation from a different perspective. It is much easier for people to observe someone that looks much like them on a television screen playing out a scenario. They may see, feel even hear things that could not be recalled at the time of the event. Another way is to view the scene in a different way in order to rewrite the script to achieve a different outcome by observing. The incident with a different outcome may show the possibility of different realities.
For example, when there is a car accident and four or five people witness and observe it. When questioned, the people usually all have a very different account of what happened. Through their own personal lenses they believe it as gospel. But is it really?
Your Soulmate is Not Someone Else’s Partner
Many people go through life looking for their soulmate or twin flame, while they may have already found them. To me a soulmate is simply someone you have a past life connection to and your souls cross paths again in this lifetime. It does not mean they are meant to be with you forever. It does not mean that you are meant to be lovers, partners or any other connection other than, you have been together in some capacity in a past life.
Sometimes clients who consult me about their love life are enamored with another person’s spouse or partner, and are so sure that this person is meant to be with them, instead of the person they are with. But the truth is, the Universe, Source, God, will never send you someone else’s partner to be your life mate.
I hear so often, “But I love him!” Or “We are so good together and she does not love her husband.” But these are merely empty words, or wishful thinking. Chances are you are only being used by that other person. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear. “Oh yes, my spouse and I have drifted apart.” Or, ‘My spouse treats me very badly.” Or the best one, “I’m only staying there until the kids are out of school.” These are simply lines to justify the pursuit of an affair.