self-reflection
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Take Negative Emotions All The Way Home
When life gets tough or something happens to upset me, whether it be big or small, I make it a point to become very quiet and mindful. I do this to get clear, so that I can see all sides of a situation, as well as stay open to learning any possible spiritual lessons that are being offered.
Typically, there’s a strong emotion linked to what has occurred. If I can allow it to be there in a calm way, I can start to see the situation from a clearer perspective.
If the situation involves being hurt, for example, I take some time out – long enough to not hastily defend myself or problem-solve. Doing this creates an opening where the Divine can step in and take over.
I like to think of it as having a weight on me and imagining a group of cherub angels coming along to lift the heavy burden emotions I’m experiencing. They then take it from me and fly away. Though this is just a visualization, there is great relief at times in turning situations over to a higher power.
I have noticed, as I get older, that certain things that used to bother me so much, and would take weeks or months to get over, I now release in just a day, or even a couple of hours. This is because I no longer allow myself to be overwhelmed by the emotion in the moment.
I believe what helps to accomplish this is going beyond the difficult emotion, into a realm or a land less frequented. I refer to is as “taking it all the way home.” What I mean by this is to examine what it is I am most afraid of.
The Transformative Power Of Gratitude
The act of giving thanks is a transformative one. When we live in gratitude, our energy vibration becomes elevated, and this positivity spreads outward like the ripples in water. If you’ve ever heard of paying it forward, this is the same idea! Gratitude changes lives – both our own and that of others.
Being appreciative and giving thanks to others, to the Universe, to the Earth for its sustenance, raises positive energies which will in turn come back to us.
Sometimes being grateful can feel like a chore, or something we need to pretend feeling. Every one of us experiences hardship and adversity. Life’s challenges sometimes get even the most grateful people down. The best way to flip that into something positive is to make a list of gratitude statements, in your mind, aloud, or in your journal.
Are you grateful for your friends, family, your health, the beauty of nature? Maybe you’re simply thankful you were able to get up this morning, when many other people were not.
Make this process one from the heart. Feel the positive energy. After a while, it will become an uplifting habit, and your body and mind will start to enjoy the positive rush of feelings. Let this routine be the first thing you do in the morning, and the last one you do at night before sleep.
Making The Most Of Pisces Season
Today we are entering Pisces season. The Sun moves into the zodiac sign of Pisces every year from February 18th through March 20th, and activates our compassion, intuition and imagination. This is a cycle where we are able to get in touch with our deeper emotions and heal any issues that might be weighing us down.
Pisces is a mutable, water sign, which allows us to be more flexible and go with the flow of the Universe. Now is not the best time for planning and taking action, but great for reflection, journaling, artistic expression and dreaming.
Technically, Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac and shows us the accumulation of what we have learned in the past year. It also helps us release in order to prepare for the next cycle in Aries.
The negative aspects of Pisces brings up addiction issues, escapism, delusions, being overly sensitive and falling into a victim mentality. It can seem like we are swimming in circles in this period, so acknowledging our direction and any imbalances are vital.
The Sun in Pisces is also a good time to get in touch with our bodies, and to detoxify with lots of water, fresh whole foods, and upgrading our self-care routine. If you are unsure of where to start with exercise, more gentle movement activities, like Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates or swimming in a body of water, will help create re-connection. It is all about taking your time and accepting where you are in your life.
The Universal Law Of Karma
Karma is a universal spiritual law, the same way that gravity is a law of nature or physics. The Law of Karma basically states that ‘as you sow, shall you reap.’ Karma is therefore the spiritual principle of ‘cause and effect.’ For every action there is an equal reaction, or ripple effect.
Karma is also what keeps everything in the Universe in balance. The Chinese symbol of Yin and Yang perfectly illustrates this process of ‘karmic balancing.’ It shows how all the positive and negative forces in the universe balance each other out, because karma equalizes the energy that flows through everything.
Every single action that we take in life is therefore like a spiritual seed we plant. Some of the seeds will sprout quickly, while others may take lifetimes to come to fruition. However long it may take, one thing is for sure, in time every seed we sow will germinate… and we will eventually have to face the result of all our actions and choices.
Karma is therefore an endless chain of actions and reactions, which binds every soul to their good and bad deeds. The soul, born into a physical body, is constantly acting to bring about the results of activity from one life to the next. We choose to act in a certain way, and then become involved with the reactions or consequences of each chosen action.
After giving up one physical body, we eventually enter into another, and we mostly forget everything about that previous life. In this way the soul reaps the results of his actions, from lifetime to lifetime. Everything that happens in our lives is nothing but the reaction of past activities.
Guidelines For Spiritual Growth
Spirituality is a wide-ranging concept with many diverse perspectives. In essence it is the process through which our inner being seeks to relate to something bigger than ourselves. It is the search for the meaning and purpose of our human existence. Spirituality is about our soul or spirit, and the unseen realms, as opposed to material things and physical life. It is also the life-long pursuit of inner peace, unconditional love, and existential wisdom and understanding.
Many people believe that the secret to spiritual growth and development can only be found in a book, a lecture, dogmatic belief system, or some other product or service that will magically unlock the doors to spiritual insight, happiness, joy and fulfillment. However, spirituality is a unique, personal path that each of us can explore on our own, from within. The following guidelines may be helpful on your journey towards spiritual fulfillment.
Reflection
The first step in personal spiritual growth is reflecting on your life journey. To be spiritual is to be questioning and inquisitive. Spiritual growth is a process of constantly learning and improving. One must be willing to open yourself to personal and spiritual growth, and by doing this your world opens up and things become less scary.
Holding on to past events keeps us from experiencing new adventures, and the emotional baggage will only weigh you down. Accept your past mistakes and learn from them. Reflect on what changes need to happen for you to move forward.
We are all teachers. We are either teaching someone, or they are teaching us – both good and bad. Learn from your experiences and move on with life.
Lead By Example – A Message From My Guides
Many of you lead by example, without having to think about it. You obey traffic signals. You pick up garbage if you accidentally drop it. You hold doors open for others. You smile at strangers. You volunteer. You support local charities.
Entering the second month of this new decade, it might be a good time to re-think some old habits, and also lead from within.
For example, it may be a good idea to tone down those automatic, knee-jerk thoughts of annoyance, anger or retribution when someone pushes all-too-familiar buttons. Instead of allowing the cortisol and adrenaline to skyrocket within your body, think things through, before reacting negatively. Resist the urge to speak hurtful comments, even if your basic premise is sound. Find a constructive way to get your point across.
Sometimes it is tempting to jump on the bandwagon for likes and shares on social media platforms. However, if the topic is not kind, hold your tongue. Instead, be the person who can be counted on for level-headed discourse, without vitriol.
In general, be kind to others. Give people some leeway when it is evident that they are trying their best. Catch them doing something right, instead of watching for errors and omissions. Give recognition and praise where warranted. It can mean so much and does not cost anything.
Be kind to yourself too. Banish negative self-talk. Give yourself the right to be human and allow yourself to make mistakes, without chastising yourself for an unimportant oversight. If a serious error does occur, do your best to rectify the issue in a timely manner, with a ‘note-to-self’ that you have learned from the situation and will not repeat it.