Do You Follow Your Head, Or Your Heart?

As a practicing astrologer, I often assist clients who are facing the head versus heart dilemma. Should they go with what their head is telling them, or should they follow their heart?

“My head tells me he’s so perfect for me. He is my dream guy on paper, ticks every box. He has a successful career, earns a solid income. He is someone my kids would love, the male role-model they so desperately need,” a client recently explained.

“But my heart feels so hesitant, like its beating for someone else I haven’t met yet. He is a great guy, but there no butterflies. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand why my heart is yearning for someone different?” she lamented.

“I can’t afford to be picky and my friends and family tell me I’m crazy to even question this incredible guy who seems to tick all the right boxes, but doesn’t put a flutter in my heart!”

The question is indeed, why would one trust an illogical feeling that can’t be quantified and measured using the neat little pros and cons list of the mind? In my Astrology practice, I have see this conundrum play out many times.

Interestingly, I find this vexing situation is often related to a Mercury Square Moon aspect in someone’s chart. Such a person will often take one side over the other, usually the head over the heart, and this habitual battle can result in a lifelong pattern of bad choices.

Culturally we’ve also been conditioned to always choose reason over feelings. And what others think often also factors too highly in a personal choice that’s best made selfishly. In my opinion, relationships are one of the few areas in life where we get to be selfish, because if we choose someone who will not make us happy, everyone will suffer in the end.

We are often told ‘trust our gut’ for good reason. Your intuition or inner guidance system knows far more than you do! But like a muscle, we must build it up, we must work it, flex it, to clearly register the signals it’s sending us.

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart ~ Roy T. Bennett

Intuitive development often takes much trial and error, but once we have it working clearly and at full capacity, we begin to experience life with a much better flow of choices and decisions. Making decisions becomes simpler, with the head providing useful information to the gut, instead of controlling what should be intuitive decisions.

The idea of having ‘gut feelings’ or trusting your ‘gut instincts’ is not just a metaphorical or metaphysical concept. Medical research has revealed that a primal connection actually exists between the brain and the gut. Our brain and gut are connected by an extensive two-way communication network of neurons, hormones and chemical processes between mind and the gut known as the brain-gut axis.

Make sure that you always follow your heart and your gut, and let yourself be who you want to be, and who you know you are. And don’t let anyone steal your joy ~ Jonathan Groff

This axis is associated with a lesser-known part of our body’s nervous system located in the gut, known as the enteric nervous system. This network of nerves, neurons and neurotransmitters extends along the entire digestive system. The most interesting aspect of this is the fact that the enteric nervous system relies on the same type of neurons and neurotransmitters found in the central nervous system, which implies that we in fact have a ‘second brain’ in our gut.

I always tell clients, within reason and also depending on what their natal chart and horoscope at the time reveal, to trust their gut whenever they’re faced with a head versus heart dilemma. I’ve found that these heartfelt, intuitive decisions are way less prone to future regrets. Our gut can really be our best friend in the end. Just something to chew on when you hear your gut growling to be heard!