life lessons
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
The Universe Knows If You Just Need Your Hair Brushed
A spiritual teacher and metaphysical writer was waiting to board a plane. She had a spiritual book in her lap and was very intent upon what she was reading, until she felt summoned by Spirit to look up. When she did, she saw such a strange sight she had to try to keep from staring.
Humped over in a wheelchair she saw an elderly man. He was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones.
The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long and clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.
Beth looked down at her book as fast as she could, discomfort burning in her face, and tried to imagine what his story might be. She found herself wondering if she had just had a Howard Hughes sighting, but then she remembered that he is dead.
So, who was this man in the airport…an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on them somewhere, she wondered. There she sat; trying to concentrate on her book, to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from her. All the while, her heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling of concern for him. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, but suddenly Beth was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre looking man.
She had worked with Spirit long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. Beth had learned that when she began to feel what the universe feels, something contrary to her natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen…and it may be embarrassing. She immediately began to resist and started arguing with Spirit in her mind. “Oh, no, Spirit, please no,” she thought, but asked, “What are you calling me to do?”
Making Time For Our Loved Ones
With our hectic schedules in a fast-paced digital world, and everyone seeming to need something urgently, our lives can be crammed with to-do lists featuring mountains of tasks, duties, and obligations.
Sometimes it is hard to believe how quickly the time goes by and how long it’s been since we’ve last spent quality time with family and relatives. Social media ‘likes’ can never substitute meaningful interaction and connection with our loved ones.
We must create opportunities to maintain these connections, foster better relationships, and touch base with young and old. We will regret not doing so someday, when it is no longer possible or viable. I have been witness to many of my clients over the years having to reach out to their loved ones in spirit with a mediumship reading, because many things were never said or shared while they were still in this life.
For years, I used to call my 95-year-old aunt every weekend. She lives about 3,500 kilometers away in a different province. So, I haven’t seen her in a few years, more recently specifically due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
She is the last remaining relative in our family from that generation, on both sides of the family. She doesn’t hear well anymore, so the calls usually aren’t very long, but she always tells me how much she appreciates hearing my voice.
My dear aunt still has a wonderful sense of humor and sometimes she enjoys reminiscing about my mom and her other siblings. Although she has four grown children, as well as grandchildren and great grandchildren, it always seems to bring a spark of joy to her day whenever we catch up and share a quick story or two.
Free Your Soul From Toxic Negativity
It is usually advisable to get over it and move on. When we continue to vent about people or things that annoy or frustrate us, or when we cannot forgive someone who has wronged us, and we go on, and on, and on about it, we are affirming the negative and attracting more of the same energy into our life.
Revenge or vitriol does absolutely no harm to another person, only to the person pursuing it. Anger or hatred does not affect the other person, only the person sending it out. What comes from your own spirit, your thoughts, words, actions, is what you will create in your own life. You are hurting or changing no one with your negative feelings other than yourself.
That person who hurt you has moved on with their life. In fact, they might even be living their best life, while you are still stuck and stagnant in the pain and misery of the past. It only becomes baggage that carries forward into the now, and into the future.
I once had a client who obsessively held onto anger, hatred, spite, and revenge towards her ex for over a decade. She could not figure out why every new relationship and project in her life since then failed miserably, usually with almost the same endings.
Finally, after years of struggling to bring her different insights, she was able to look at the person who hurt her, release his memory with loving, forgiving energy, and let the whole thing go. Then, as I had predicted, the next person who came into her life was everything she had always wanted in a partner!
In fact, her new beloved was far better than anything she ever had with Mr. Most Hated, before it went wrong, and had she continued on her path of anger and toxic baggage carrying, this new love miracle would most likely never have happened.
The True Power Of Your Worst Nightmares
When I was 24 years old, I was a somewhat disempowered young lady who went to work for the city council. All the girls in the office had an active social life and a boyfriend, except me.
In fact, I was bullied for it and became a bit of a joke around the water cooler, to the extent that I could not properly concentrate on the task at hand and ultimately lost my job. Looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But, at the time, it did not feel like it.
About a year ago, I started to have a recurring dream that I was 24 again, and sharing an office with the same mean girls, supervised by the same misogynist boss. But this time I had a very different mindset.
In my dream, the boss had criticized my work. So, I pick up the documents he complained about to, walk up to his office, put it on his desk, and tell him politely to type his own letters in future. I was going home now, because I am no longer prepared to put up with his nonsense.
Well, if only I had the same courage back in the old days, I might have suffered far less emotional anguish! I felt really empowered in the dream, and it brought me the realization that I no longer have to suffer fools and that I need to stick up for myself more often. However, the dream also revealed to me that I still had not entirely made peace with the past, otherwise the dream would not be recurring.
The moral of the story is that dreams do not only reflect how we are doing in the present, and how far we have advanced in life, but also what we need to do to work on ourselves to be even better in the future. How powerful and life-enhancing is that!
Another compelling dream I have been having of late is of myself flying a light hovercraft over the estate where I lived as a child. I faced several challenging, traumatizing things growing up there, including poverty and domestic abuse. However, this liberating dream confirms that I have managed to rise above those childhood setbacks and obstacles, and I am now in control of my own life and destiny.
It Will Happen When The Time Is Right
Most psychics find it almost impossible to read for themselves, or for friends and relatives. It is difficult to remain objective in readings for people who are very close to us. It is therefore common practice for psychics to read for each other when the need arises.
Many years ago my psychic mentor and I were trading readings. During my reading she told me I would one day have to choose between two men. Of course, I am like everyone else and so I wanted to know when it would happen?
As a professional psychic reader I knew from personal experience that the prediction of the timing for events is really hard to do. But I still wanted it to happen right then and there! I was less experienced then and obviously had a lot to learn. I don’t have patience at all, but sometimes in life you are made to learn important life lessons.
It took over a decade, but my mentor’s prediction finally happened. Yes, ten years later these two men were finally both in my life, just as she had forecasted they would!
Doing psychic readings professionally I am often asked during a reading, “When exactly is so-and-so going to contact me.” Then, if that contact doesn’t come quick enough, there comes the stress and fears. This can cause a bigger misunderstanding, thinking that commutation won’t ever happen. To make matters worse, timing is especially difficult to predict when a person doesn’t have patience or doesn’t give things time to happen.
If you really think about it, would it really be so much easier or better to have everything that we want happen right away? If so, will we be truly ready for it, and will we also appreciate the good things we already do have in our lives?