grief
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
My Lives Between Lives
Recently, I had the privilege of being a ‘case history’ client for a friend of mine, who had recently returned from completing a past life regression on life-between-lives. I have been fortunate enough to have had wonderful experiences with past life regression in the past, but the ‘in-between lives’ experience was something new for me, and I felt honored that she asked me to partake as one of her case studies for her course assignment.
During our session I was taken back into the past, and received imagery of previous lives. Glimpsing previous lifetimes was to help me see more clearly lessons learned, or not learned. My friend was a wonderful facilitator, as was the help received from my own master spirit guide.
In our session, I learned where my fear of fire originated from. To date, no past life reading I have received has ever touched on the origin of this fear. I have now discovered that my fear of fire relates to a more recent life, in what appeared to be approximately a century ago.
I was a male soldier in the Navy. My uniform was white, and my father, like in so many of my other past life regression experiences, played a significant role in this life also. He was a senior staff member on that ship. I also saw the Star of David during the regression, which suggests I was of Jewish faith in that life.
That particular life experience ended for my father and I when our ship caught fire. My uniform also caught fire! I recalled the flames, and then drowning.
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
Opening Up To The Spirit Realm
All of us will experience the passing of a loved one at some point in our lives. It is very painful to deal with the aftermath of such a loss, but the ability to communicate with our loved ones on the other side can help to alleviate this trauma.
Since my daughter left this life over five years ago, I have been able to clearly and distinctly see her at any given time, which has been extremely gratifying for me. I has assured me that that she is now in a much nicer, calmer existence.
Her lifetime in this world was at times trying and extremely painful. Part of that was to repay her karmic debt, and the remainder was her individual spiritual journey which had to play itself out.
What I also enjoy is being able to experience with my own eyes how her new life is now so entirely different from the one we shared during her brief stay here. While in this life, she was not such a domesticated character, for example. Obviously she cooked and cleaned to take care of herself and her family, but she never would have been considered a ‘homemaker’ or a ‘kitchen aficionado.’ Quite the contrary to being a ‘domestic goddess,’ her heart was always much more geared towards the creative, artistic, free-spirited side of life.
She painted and sculpted, and wore outlandish clothes with the most confident panache. Her taste in her own personal wardrobe was unusual to say the least, and her home and yard were always decorated with complete abandon and eccentricity. She also was in such total compliance with nature, it was a joy to be able to experience that interaction with her.
The Blue Jay – A Sign From Spirit
I grew up Christian. My mother was devout and my father followed, yet was not as much of a believer. I remain very spiritual in my adult years, but although I still hold my belief in God and spirit, I no longer follow any particular religion. I also have no doubt there is an afterlife and that our spirit lives on. One of the most significant moments of faith and joy on my spiritual journey happened when my father was sick and dying.
He was a magnificent man and I loved him dearly. He was my rock, the anchor in my family. He truly was that one person in this world who was always there for all of us. When he was losing his health battle, I tried to speak to him about faith, as I could tell he was afraid of dying. It was so sad for me to see him with so much fear, as he used to always be such a fearless man. Until now.
He told me he did not know for sure where he would go or what would happen to him, once he passed. He had tears in his eyes. He said, “I believe there is something after this life, but I am not sure about Heaven, or what it will be.” I could tell he was actually very afraid, and it broke my heart. I tried to reassure him. “Dad, I have every faith that you will live on in spirit,” I said.
He was a patient in palliative care, with about a month left to live according to the doctors. He was struggling emotionally. It wrecked my heart every day to witness his fear and uncertainty. He had also been very worried about those he was leaving behind.
Eventually, we reached the time where he was losing consciousness. He was drifting in and out, but while he could not do more than utter a sound or squeeze my hand, I knew he could hear me, as he would continue to respond.
The Sweet Dreams Of Spirit Visitation
Dreaming is one of the best ways for spirit to relay messages to you. When awake we mostly receive information from our senses, but when we are in the dream state, messages from beyond can reach us more easily.
While resting our conscious mind, our subconscious doesn’t need to battle for our attention, so dreams can play out like a movie in our mind and relay spiritual messages in the form of symbols, abstract story lines, or my favorite: past loved ones coming for a visit.
When in dream mode, our right-brain emotion is not challenged by our left-brain logic, making it easy for our subconscious to connect with spirit. In this altered state of consciousness our departed loved ones find it more easy to visit us.
So, how do you know you are just dreaming of a departed loved one, or experiencing an actual spirit visitation? A spirit visit is different from a dream for many reasons. Dreams will be prevalent when you first wake up, but will quickly fade from your memory.
A visitation is an actual visit from spirit. It may feel like a dream, but you will remember it more vividly and you will be able to play it back detail by detail, word for word, and clearly remember and relive the emotions you experienced during the visitation.
After my mother passed, she came to visit me a few months later in a lucid dream. I can still see the pantsuit she was wearing, her hairstyle, how young she looked, and the strong presence of her energy. In the dream she simply walked past me, went outside towards the pecan tree in the backyard, and then faded into the light. No words were spoken, but her brief presence was very comforting. I woke up crying, sobbing with mixed emotions of missing her and the joy being with her for that short moment in time.
Looking Within – A Message From My Guides
As the holiday season starts to ramp up around the world, everything becomes more and more hectic. Travel plans are made early. Gifts are purchased. Party invitations are extended. New outfits are bought. Menus are set. Baking is done. It is a wondrous time of year, to give thanks and to show appreciation to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.
Under these circumstances, it is understandable that stress abounds too. For some people, in addition to all the excitement, there is a real feeling of obligation. The expectations of others can be overwhelming and, of course, it is impossible to please everyone. There is also the feeling that time is running too short to accomplish everything on the to-do list. Demands on your time can seem endless and unreasonable.
For others, the holiday season can be a very quiet and somewhat lonely time. Old memories can be triggered. Losses can become more heightened and a sense of sadness can prevail. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days get shorter and sometimes much colder, so sunlight isn’t as prevalent to perk you up and lighten your spirit.
Whether you are run off your feet or living a more solitary lifestyle, we recommend that you make some time to look within. A daily meditation habit can do wonders to give you a sense of peace, calm and gratitude. A quiet mind at the start of your day can prepare you for the remainder of each day as it unfolds. A peaceful feeling can help you to put things into perspective so as not to worry, overreact or panic unnecessarily.
Everyone has a ‘little narrator’ inside their head who is constantly chatting up a storm. If this little chatterbox was a real person sitting with you in your living room or in the car, you would eventually ask him or her to stop talking for a while so that you could think, read, watch TV, listen to music, converse, drive, and so on. However, because everyone has grown quite accustomed to this little tag-along giving constant commentary throughout the day, you carry on in spite of the continual interruptions.