toxic relationship
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
When A Psychic Tells You The Unwelcome Truth
A psychic who works with integrity conveys to her clients the truth of what she receives from spirit. These messages do not always meet the expectations of what a client may want to hear, but it will always be what they need to hear.
For example, if you have been clinging to a toxic relationship or remain stuck in a dead-end job, your psychic most likely will receive information from spirit to advise you to move on. God, Source, Spirit, the Divine knows what is best for our highest good, even when we choose to believe the opposite and remain in denial.
One of the most important lessons I have learned over the years as a professional psychic, is to always trust whatever information or guidance I am given, even if it makes no sense to me personally and it is also not what the client is hoping to hear.
Ethical psychics and mediums never tell someone what they want to hear simply to appease them. Sugar-coating the truth does not serve the client’s highest good in the long run. Instead, it just prolongs their unhappiness and misery.
Several years ago, I did a series of readings for someone who was madly in love with someone that she had moved across the country to be near. She had placed her entire life on hold, gave up many good things in her life, and relocated…even though he was married. He had told her how much he loved her, made many promises, and confirmed repeatedly that he wanted to be with her. He even encouraged her to give up everything and move closer to him, for them to be together.
Spirit Is Like A Lifeguard
I used to work in a Wisconsin tourist town in the early 90s, holding down two full-time jobs to pay my way through college. One of my employee benefits was a free admission pass to all the city’s water parks and other tourist attractions. I rarely had a day off, but whenever I did, I would relish splashing around in those lazy rivers and wave pools with childlike enthusiasm!
A popular feature at my favorite water park was a towering waterslide. At the top sat a lifeguard who would give the go-ahead for you to safely start sliding down, after the slider in front of you had cleared enough distance.
Our spirit guides are kind of like those water park lifeguards.
I remember doing a reading for myself around New Year’s Day 2016, regarding my wishes and goals for the future. I wanted my midlife crisis to be over after my divorce, and I craved to immerse myself full-time in my spiritual work to gain respect and personal fulfillment.
Seven years later, I’m still working on some of those 2016 resolutions, but I have meanwhile realized that Spirit has held me back from achieving these goals earlier in my life, as I had karmic obstacles blocking my progress.
I used to be in a loveless marriage that was a karmic ball and chain around my ankle. For example, when I faced a major health challenge years ago, all my ex could focus on was the economic loss, since I wasn’t able to work at the time. I recall someone in an online support group asking him, “Don’t you love your wife? Then support her!”
The Universe Will Always Match Your Energy
The Law of Attraction is a universal spiritual principle that we create our own reality. Whatever we send out into the world is what we will attract back to us. Whatever we choose to give our time, energy, and attention to is what will become manifest in our life.
If we choose to focus on the positive things we truly desire in life, such as abundance, prosperity, success, and well-being, we will attract more of that in return. But if we hold on to negativity, fear, lack, and pessimism, we will struggle to attract good things to us.
Our thoughts are powerful, because thoughts become things. If we make a habit of cultivating thoughts, ideas and beliefs that are hopeful, happy, excited, optimistic, inspired, confident, appreciative, and grateful, then God, Source, Spirit, the Divine responds to our positive mindset with matching manifestations, outcomes, and experiences.
The Universe will always match our energy wavelength and can only guide us towards relationships, opportunities, and events that we believe to be possible for us, and that we feel worthy and deserving of.
If you are constantly sending negative energy out into the Universe, you will only end up experiencing more toxic relationships, hardships, and challenging life. Events. If we are constantly in a negative mind space, then it is difficult, even impossible for us to see the many positive opportunities and potential blessings available to us.
We have all seen the Law of Attraction at work in our life in one way or another, whether we care to admit it, or not. For example, have you ever been in a situation where you needed to buy a car and then became interested in a specific brand, new model, color, style? Then, suddenly, you start seeing that car everywhere, while in the past you never noticed it on the road.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
Is Your History Repeating Itself?
Are you feeling stuck making all the wrong choices and decisions? Are you repeating the same make mistakes? A study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences analyzed the processes that occur before the human brain makes a decision. In this study, participants were asked to press a button with their left, or right hand. They were able to do this at whatever moment they decided, however, they were asked to remember the specific time they recognized making their decision and to relay that information to the researchers.
By observing the participant’s brain scanner, it was discovered that the researchers knew the participant’s decision seven seconds before the participant knew, based on observing electrical signals within the participant’s brain. This is important information, because it validates how much our subconscious minds are making decisions without us fully being aware of the choices we are making.
Although this research is based on making immediate decisions, how often are you aware of where their decisions are being based upon? How can you know if you’re making a decision based on old thought patterns and habits, rather than based on higher, conscious awareness?
The philosopher George Santayana famously said, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” While this is true on a global scale, this is also true in our personal relationships. My interests in psychology and consciousness originated from observing my family, their unhealthy patterns, and observing the resulting choices I’ve made myself, in response to those patterns.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!