respect
Lead By Example – A Message From My Guides
Many of you lead by example, without having to think about it. You obey traffic signals. You pick up garbage if you accidentally drop it. You hold doors open for others. You smile at strangers. You volunteer. You support local charities.
Entering the second month of this new decade, it might be a good time to re-think some old habits, and also lead from within.
For example, it may be a good idea to tone down those automatic, knee-jerk thoughts of annoyance, anger or retribution when someone pushes all-too-familiar buttons. Instead of allowing the cortisol and adrenaline to skyrocket within your body, think things through, before reacting negatively. Resist the urge to speak hurtful comments, even if your basic premise is sound. Find a constructive way to get your point across.
Sometimes it is tempting to jump on the bandwagon for likes and shares on social media platforms. However, if the topic is not kind, hold your tongue. Instead, be the person who can be counted on for level-headed discourse, without vitriol.
In general, be kind to others. Give people some leeway when it is evident that they are trying their best. Catch them doing something right, instead of watching for errors and omissions. Give recognition and praise where warranted. It can mean so much and does not cost anything.
Be kind to yourself too. Banish negative self-talk. Give yourself the right to be human and allow yourself to make mistakes, without chastising yourself for an unimportant oversight. If a serious error does occur, do your best to rectify the issue in a timely manner, with a ‘note-to-self’ that you have learned from the situation and will not repeat it.
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
Being Grateful For Every Thank You
It occurred to me recently, while I was out driving in the Spanish countryside where I now live, that most of the local people appear to be really happy and content. They often talk of things they are grateful for, and these are rarely their material belongings. Then I had a big ‘aha’ moment!
As a child I grew up in various Spanish speaking places. I learned, when someone thanks you for something, the appropriate response is to say, “De nada!” In other words, ‘it’s nothing,’ or ‘don’t mention it.’
On my return to Spain a few years ago, I discovered a different response to a thank you. These days a gracias (thank you) is responded to with gracias a ti (thanks to you). Also what I noticed is, when I got thanked in return, it felt really good, as if good energy was being directed my way.
I met one of my Spanish friends for coffee today. We both enjoy our chats about all things spiritual. She is studying metaphysics in various disciplines, and I have read for her, as well as her mom. I brought up this topic about how ‘thank you’ is replied to differently, compared to when I first started learning Spanish many years ago. “It is not entirely the case,” she responded. “There are still those who say de nada.”
How To Manifest Love
You might be asking yourself, does he love me? Is he into me, like I am into him? Or, where is my partner, my soulmate? Is he ever going to come into my life?
Manifesting love is at the top of the list for many people, next to money. But it can be a real struggle to attain a good relationship that is loving, caring, giving, respectful. Most of us want a healthy relationship where we feel desired, respected and appreciated, but many of us do not know how to attain it.
Either people are at a loss on how to begin the search, or they just don’t know how to go about building a lasting love connection. They don’t understand they’re doing wrong, or why it hasn’t shown up yet.
Some also feel that they truly deserve it, while others may believe they don’t. And those who do not feel deserving of a good relationship tend to fall into the trap of settling for: “Well, it is easy, it is comfortable. It’s better than nothing.” Too many people feel they do not deserve love and do not deserve to feel this level of happiness.
I believe that a loving, fulfilling relationship is available to anyone who desires it. To attract such a relationship one simply has to apply the basic principles of manifesting. These guidelines are universal, no matter what the desired outcome may be. The basic steps I’ve used to manifest things into my life are as follows:
Clarify Your Desires
Decide what you want and need. I mean clearly decide what type of relationship you want. Who do you want your lover or partner to be? It need not be specific in superficial details, such as their name or hair color, but who are they as a person? How will they treat you? What kind of personality do they have? How much attraction will you feel? Do you share religious and or political views? Are finances and job status important?
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship
We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?
Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.
Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.