Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship

We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?

Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.

Mutual Respect

Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.

Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long ~ Amy Grant

Generous Giving

Giving of yourself helps relationships last. The best gifts are those given without expectation of anything in return, whether the gift is time, energy, positive encouragement, or a ‘just because’ gift, like flowers or tickets to the big game. A good relationship takes time and effort from both involved, and these gifts of kindness will help smooth the way.

Personal Space

Being able to keep separate interests and lives is often overlooked. Early in a relationship, you might want to spend all your time together, but as time goes on, learning to appreciate time spent alone, or with friends, is key. Every now and then, take a ‘me day,’ or a day spent with old acquaintances. Having separate ‘spaces’ in your shared home, for example an art studio, crafts rooms or man cave, is something many partners implement with much success.

Constructive Conflict

It’s inevitable that arguments will occur in a relationship, and when they do, learning to fight fair will help calm the storms. Avoid bullying tactics, like name-calling or character slandering. It’s easy to let emotions get out of control when arguing, but if you step back and remember to maintain respect, police your tone, and compromise, the bad feelings will hopefully not last. Partners who fight frequently may have broken lines of communication, which can’t be repaired without professional intervention.

A healthy relationship is a feast of affection and giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough ~ Shannon Thomas

Love Language

If you know your partner’s love language, it can go a long way to strengthening your relationship. You can read more about this in the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman.

Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gift-giving, and quality time are all ways we can express devotion to a partner. If your love language is not the same as your partner’s, learning more about their love language preferences will ultimately bring you closer together.

Ultimately, a lasting relationship is not based on the Hollywood idea of love, but more on the ideas of mutual respect, kindness, and giving. With time and understanding, your relationship will deepen and you’ll have the best kind of ‘happy ever after.’