respect
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Empaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.
Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship
We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?
Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.
Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.
Shamanic Shape Shifting Of Departed Loved Ones
Crows do not symbolize doom and gloom as portrayed in some myths and movies. They are a symbol of magic, intelligence, keen communication, and much more. They can see far into the spirit realm and bring messages for those who are open to receiving them. So, if a crow appears to you, use your intuition to truly receive the messages it brings.
Crows often carry the energy of a loved one that has passed, and honor you with the loved one’s presence and sometimes also gifts. It’s called transference. It is a sacred shift of energy. If you have a crow making herself known immediately after a beloved’s passing, rest assured it is, in fact, the presence of your lost love. Respect this transformation with gratitude.
Generally, transference occurs between physical vessels that are similar, making the transference easier for the passed loved one to make the shift. There are exceptions, however, and crow is one of the most common physical vessels used – in great part due to their innate intelligence and ability to soar between dimensions.
It’s all about love in the final analysis. Your loved one left you because there were no other options, due to circumstances of life. Although, too often, they hang on, even while suffering, waiting for a vessel to transfer into. In fact, some won’t leave, regardless, until they have the vessel they need, whether it meets their preferred specifications, or not. They prefer to see or meet the new vessel before they pass, so they know how to best make the shift.
When Your Man Is Not Ready To Commit
I often hear how wonderful the guy is that she is dating… if only he would commit to taking their relationship to the next level! If a woman is not satisfied with the way things are going and what she is getting from the relationship, should she continue to wait for him?
By patiently waiting for him against your better judgment, he only learns that he can get away with his lack of commitment, especially if he feels comfortable with what he is getting from the relationship. This way a pattern is formed.
So, how do you avoid wasting some of the best years of your life waiting on a guy that is never going to commit? well, right from the start you tell him what your looking for and what your expectations are. But handle it carefully, after all you don’t want to scare him away before things even get off the ground!
But do let him know how you feel about dating, long-term relationships, commitment, marriage, children, and whatever else may be important to you. This will inform him, so that you have a better shot at being on the same page. If he starts to make excuses, or says that he is not interested in a long-term commitment, at least not right now, then accept his words as the truth.
Communicating Kindness – A Message From My Guides
Our focus today is on being kind to those who are close to you and improve your communication with those you love. Sometimes people are inclined to take their loved ones for granted and speak with them entirely differently than they would speak to a stranger.
It is easy to be kind when showing genuine support and encouragement, but it can be more difficult when giving disagreeable advice, or chastising. Overall, it is much more challenging to be kind when expressing any kind of criticism. To counteract these challenges, we have three recommendations that might help.
Our first proposition is to listen actively. Many people are so compelled to answer while another is speaking that they formulate their responses without actually hearing what is truly being said. They assume that they know where the conversation is going so they miss any nuance or undercurrent within the comments being made.
Staying silent without interrupting can be very challenging, especially when you are eager to expand on positive commentary or ready to disagree with every fiber of your being. It might take an inordinate amount of practice, however, if you can master the art of listening well, people will soon think of you as a great conversationalist.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself. Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
The Little Things That Matter Most
It really is the little things in our daily lives that sometimes matter most. And we are often more likely to remember those things. One of the little things that can touch our hearts most are gestures by kind people, which I have experienced so much of these past few weeks. They can be any random act of kindness – or even an observation when we suddenly become aware of how much such little things really matter! We may pass by beautiful scenery a hundred times and never pay attention, until one day it suddenly strikes a deep cord with us.
Just yesterday, a client said something to me which moved me deeply. “I just want you to know that when you enter a room, your heart enters first,” she said. I pondered her words for quite a long time, and will now always remember how it affected me deeply. Also, I was struck by the way her words came as if from nowhere, and that during a psychic reading which should really have been all about her and her concerns. What for her might have been just a quick gesture of appreciation, mattered very much to me… and it always will be remembered.
Recently, this same lady told me about a beautiful butterfly which had appeared at her window during one of our readings. Knowing the profound transformation she had been going through, and the beautiful soul that she is, no wonder all of her helpers on the other side wanted her to be aware of their presence in her life at this challenging time.