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How To Find Lasting Love
Most of us want to love and be loved. Many people are looking to find the right person. But how does one find love and keep it? And what is the key to finding the right person?
Spirit says one needs to start with yourself first. Without accepting and loving yourself unconditionally, it is impossible to genuinely love someone else.
Do you love yourself enough to find love? Are you strong enough to let go of a loveless or toxic relationship? Do you know what is best for you, or are you willing to settle for a ‘just okay’ relationship…simply to be in a relationship?
In my experience, low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth does not lead to long-lasting, sincere love. Love yourself enough to leave. Loving yourself is just a matter of wanting the best for you.
Doing psychic love readings for many years, I have found that some people simply settle because they are lazy, not wanting to put in the effort. But true and lasting love is hard work. Some feel trapped in bad relationships, falsely believing they can’t get out, while others are scared to leave because they feel they cannot do any better.
Everyone deserves to be in a happy, healthy relationship. We are all deserving of love and belonging. If you are in an unfulfilled, or even an abusive relationship, you need to take decisive steps towards changing your prospects for the better. Take back your power.
Just because someone likes you does not mean you must like them. If you want to see if you really like them, and let it play out, great. Does not mean you have to like them back, much less marry them! Some people are just not the person for you. Move on, or you will never find your person.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.
The ‘Big Chill’ Moment Of A Soulmate Reunion
I started my first full-time job at age 17 working in the Conservation Corps. I grew up in a rural community and the local Conservation Corps was engaged in environmental stewardship, such as clearing debris and fallen trees from streams to prevent floods and fire hazards. As a teenager, I had many small jobs babysitting, gardening, and so on, but this was my first serious employment after graduating high school.
On my first day of work, I sat on a fence waiting for the bus that would drive us into the woods, when another bus full of ‘city kids’ arrived. The first guy that emerged from the city bus looked directly into my eyes and I remember having a million thoughts all at once!
His eyes were green, like mine. I believe that was a memory trigger. A memory trigger is a soul recognition clue that we program into the psyche before we come into this life. Its purpose is to remind us subconsciously of a soul contract. Soul contracts are agreements between ourselves and others to work out karma in this lifetime.
Mr. Memory Trigger Eyes looked down almost immediately once he saw me, bashfully, with a blushing face. Looking into his eyes felt like a lightning bolt hit my body. I felt a ‘big chill’ at the same time. The hair on my arms stood up. It was electric and exciting! There was an instant familiarity between us.
Although I had never met him before, I somehow felt I knew him. His face seemed familiar, which I ascribe to the built-in memory triggers. The ‘big chill’ is spirit stirring your psychic memory. I instantly knew I recognize his energy signature from past lives and the spirit realm. I even heard my higher self whisper, “He’s the one.” And he did turn out to be my first love in this lifetime.
During the three months we worked together, he flirted shyly with me, stared at me from afar. I knew we would eventually be in a relationship. There was never any doubt in my mind. I just knew it. But what was taking him so long?
True Love Has No Time Limit Or Deadline
We live in a busy world where most of us have gotten used to a very hurried life. Everything is on a strict schedule and time limit, because we now judge everything this way. We have become a restless society demanding instant solutions and immediate gratification in all things.
If the line is too long at the supermarket or fast food restaurant, some of us get upset. If we have to wait for our doctor when we have an appointment, we become annoyed. Some cut in front of others, or even cross streets while the light is still red, because they hate to wait.
Similarly, if we do not get an immediate reaction from our latest love interest, some of us do not become just a little restless or anxious. No, they get really upset!
If this kind of hurried, rushed way of life plagues you, then you may definitely need an major attitude adjustment. Because your naturally loving heart and your capacity for love and romance may be in serious trouble.
Maybe your heart never got the memo that there was no need to constantly hurry up and adhere to time limits and deadlines. What happened to dating? Romantic chats? Patiently anticipated expressions of affection? Dozens of love letters, and more recently emails and test messages? The joint holidays and weekends away? The looking forward to new adventures together?
What happened? What happened to living wholeheartedly in the moment? What happened to just enjoying the ride without constantly watching the calendar or the clock?
The one joy that we all desire and cherish is being loved and feeling special in someone’s eyes. To be affirmed, to be accepted and appreciated, to belong. It gives us an inner peace and happiness that cannot be found in any other way. Love and belonging is a fundamental necessity in everyone’s life. No matter how busy you are. Continue reading
The Soul Future Of Past Relationships
To outward appearances, endings are a structural matter – now there is a relationship, now there is no relationship. From the soul point of view, ending is a different experience of the relationship.
Ending is not literal at all, but rather a radical shift in imagination. For example, a woman’s father passes on. In her soul the relationship may now intensify and may become the dominant myth shaping her other relationships, her career, and every other aspect of her life.
Memories of her father may now become more vivid than ever, and new feelings may surface. He may be more influential in her life now than when he was alive.
Another example might be a man who divorces his wife, thinking that now his thoughts will turn toward a new life. With the struggle of decision and separation now passed, feelings formerly nudged out of awareness now come to the forefront.
Completely unexpectedly, he now has dreams of her seducing him, suggesting that in some way ‘she’ now has renewed desired for him. Years later, he says what many people say: “I didn’t have to go through that divorce. If only I had known then what I know now…”
Apparently there is something in every relationship that is eternal, that goes on forever, and that wants to be exempted from the life-decision to cut ties. If you are experiencing this, it is not your imagination. You are simply being quite human.
Obviously, our relationships are not as simple or as limited in scope as we sometimes like to think them to be. There are only so many people we come to know in a lifetime, and an even smaller number with whom we live intimately. Continue reading
Soulmates Are A Divine Grace
Soulmate connections are a very real and powerful phenomenon, but many people find it difficult to determine whether someone truly is a soulmate, or not.
In my experience a soulmate is someone to whom we feel deeply connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between you were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace. This kind of relationship is so important to the soul that many have said there is nothing more precious in life.
We may find a soulmate in many different forms of relationships and in all areas of our lives, including friendship, marriage, work, family and recreation. We even find it with a delightful ‘critter’ – the pets we feel that special connection with.
Many times, when a soulmate first comes into our life, we have that feeling of familiarity as if we have known them before. Often, indeed, we have known them in a past life or many previous lives.
The famous American psychic Edgar Cayce stated that a soulmate is an individual who we have an ongoing connection with. The soul picks up on this longstanding connection with that person again and again in various times and places and over many lifetimes.
Most importantly, Cayce further stated that we tend to be attracted to another person at a soul level, because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with “an impetus to become whole ourselves”. This is also known as ‘soul recognition’. We are therefore not drawn to our soulmate simply because that person is our unique complement.
Release Then, Embrace Now
I did the most interesting and heartfelt psychic reading the other day. Once it was over, I thought about my responses as a reader for this particular subject matter and how we live and, hopefully, learn. This was a case of lost love come back around again, after many decades of separation and years of wondering ‘what if?’ My client had loved and lost her soulmate when they were mere teenagers, many moons ago.
The parting had not been easy or a willing one for either of them, but our parents’ opinions when we are a certain age often tend to determine our decisions and choices. The two lovers parted ways and went on to lead their separate lives with other people, but in their hearts they never forgot each other. It took a long time, but their paths did cross again – this time with life at the helm, instead of their parents’ wishes and decrees.
Their original parting was so painful for the woman that, although she was so happy to see him again, she could not help but react from a perspective of fear and panic. She approached their reconciliation from the then place, which was one of loss, confusion and grief.
During a reading on this matter, it was immediately apparent that there still were many rivers to cross. The first words from me were: “There is so much love here waiting to happen!” Little else seemed to matter much at all. But the client was still stuck in the past.
Then a pearl of wisdom came from Spirit. “Right now is right now,” the Angels confirmed. “We would not have brought the two together were there not unfinished business and love here to attend to. Tell her to release the past and take the leap of faith. Once she releases it, she will be able to see the now. Then she can proceed from an open heart, not from the fear of loss. She won’t experience the same scenario again, or have it re-enact itself, because she will have released the past. It will literally be a new lease on life.”