life experience
You Could Choose Peace Instead
It is the natural order for seasons to change. This is true on a macro scale in weather systems, and on a micro scale on our soul’s journey. Life is a constant ebb and flow, and it is useless to fight against the tides. Spirit often reminds us, when we are in a difficult season, that it is simply a part of the process of change and growth.
I read the Tarot, a divination system based on universal archetypes, which can be used to see the momentum of a person’s life. The Tarot consists of many archetypes that are challenging and even represent the darker aspects of the human experience. However, these experiences are not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’
Too often people will get a challenging message from the Tarot and they will immediately freak out. However, all of life is meant to be embraced and we all have the ability to transcend even the most challenging of obstacles.
There are two primary factors that decrease the severity of the challenges we face in life. The first is acceptance and the second is responsibility.
Becoming ‘stressed out’ over our circumstances cannot resolve the challenges we are facing. We must accept where we are and understand that we cannot change the past. We have no power over the things that led us to this moment, or to these challenges. The only thing we can do is accept the circumstances and understand that we are the only ones that have the power to make changes in our life.
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with ourselves. The cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust.
Unfortunately it is quite easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because during our lives all of us have, or will, make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
We all fail, and we all make mistakes. A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves. A job opportunity eludes us, or a friendship fractures beyond repair.
We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we begin to question our abilities, our dreams and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event that we label a failure, the doubt in our judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can become vicious and destructive.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t! I knew I should have done it differently,” then stop the that negative thought pattern, and choose instead to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
How Life Taught Me To Seize Each Moment
If your life is anything like mine, then it is a string of constant changes and random events. Welcome to my boat! And don’t worry about bringing any oars, we won’t be needing them.
When I married my husband, almost twenty years ago, we embarked together on a wild ride that is the military life. Holding hands and ready for a thrill, we signed up for an experience that has indeed been thrilling, and at times quite chilling. More than anything, it taught me very valuable life lessons. In fact, I find that many of my clients go through similar experiences, in a different form, of course, but they still arrive at the same realization.
Imagine for a second what happens when you go whitewater rafting and the power of moving water throws the boat off course. You automatically reach to grab on to something, to maintain your balance and, preferably, to remain safely in the boat. The same thought patterns geared towards survival are wired in our brain pathways for all circumstances in life.
As our plans and dreams get thrown up in the air, due to external circumstances, or sometimes, divinely orchestrated events, we subconsciously tighten up our grip, to make sure that we retain at least some kind of control over the circumstances, including, our safety and stability.
In my case, if we were told to move to the place that was not anywhere on the list of our moving preferences, I would immediately fast-forward in my mind to the next action step I should take, to bring this uncontrolled environment into something I could grasp.
My ‘Tough Love’ Parents Raised A Strong Woman
I can remember when I was in my 20s and just starting out in life. I strived to be an adult my parents would be proud to say they raised. For some reason, my parents approval was very important to me.
I aimed to follow in my parents footsteps by getting a ‘good job’ that would support the lifestyle I wanted for myself. I also got married, bought a house, and pretty much walked the same path my parents had done.
I was raised by parents who helped us financially when they could, but never to the extreme, and only when I proved to them that I was not being wasteful with funds. They were always willing to help whenever something came up that I could not afford on my own.
I can remember being a tad jealous of my high school friends, who I still had communication with, when their parents would hand them thousands of dollars simply because they wanted a new car, or wished to go on a trip. I would watch as those friends lives were so much less stressful than mine. They had the safety net of their parents financially, as well as in many other aspects of their everyday life.
As I grew older, and my parents’ ability to support their children decreased, and eventually became non-existent when they passed, I noticed a distinct difference in myself and my friends who had parents that supported them through much of their adult life. Those friends who seemed to have everything so easy, and didn’t have to struggle as I had to, did not seem to be able to weather the storms that life sometimes throws at us.
The Danger Of Doing Business With Friends
Recently, while in the middle of unexpected home repairs, due to a very bad storm, I needed some help managing my everyday business responsibilities. I then mistakenly turned to a friend.
He had recently had a horrible accident and had to go on medical leave from work. Due to his changed circumstances, he experienced a dramatic drop in his monthly income. So, wanting to help, as most friends do, I offered to embark on a partnership with him.
It made sense at the time, since my friend had a lot of free time, while healing from the accident, and my time was being consumed by our home repairs. Anyone who has endured a hurricane in their hometown will understand this. These types of repairs tend to consume your life, while everything else is placed on the back-burner. I was so focused on dealing with these challenges, that I neglected to pay more careful attention to my inner guidance and ignored my gut feeling at the time.
So, I approached my friend and asked if he would be willing to help manage our rental properties business. In my mind it was a win-win situation. We embarked on this new arrangement by agreeing to split the profits generated from the monthly rentals.
Initially, all seemed to be going well. We both seemed happy with the new arrangement and both of our immediate needs were being met. Then, problems with maintenance and tenant issues started to arise. This is normal when you own and manage multiple rental properties. But my friend did not take any action.
The Legacy Of The Modern Crone
The time of the crone is the third stage in the life of a woman, may she feels she has come full circle. The Crone is traditionally an archetypal figure for a ‘wise old woman.’ In ancient times the ‘crone’ was considered, in a matriarchal community, to typically be a mature woman past the age of menopause.
In society today, many women look at the time in life past menopause as a blessing. It is now considered a time to get on with life and achieve the things that may have been put on the backburner. It is a time when one hits that age where experience counts as true knowledge.
In my own opinion most of the women I know personally, who lived as young adults through the 1960’s and 1970’s, are not very much concerned with their physical age, as long as they have their health and feel good about themselves. They are not concerned about what society may call the age one is deemed ‘a crone.’
The term ‘crone’ is believed to originate from Rhea Kronia. Rhea is the ancient Greek goddess of female fertility, motherhood, and generation, also known as ‘Mother Time.’, She is also associated with black creatures, such as the crow, which is sacred and related to death.
There was a time when the crone was recognized as a treasured valued member of the community. Her advice was sought by those younger and less experienced. The good old golden rule was her belief of ‘the way life should be lived.’
Is It Worth Your Health And Happiness?
We are usually deep in conversation, accompanied by a lot of belly laughs, when I meet with my group of crochet girlfriends every other week. We meet around a large table, yarn in hand, to make lots of wonderful goodies to give away at Christmas, or whatever festive holiday is upon us.
Things turned serious at a recent gathering, when one of the gals in our group starting talking about her daughter, who recently separated from her husband. She said a few things about their situation and then looked up at me, but decided not to ask, as I was there for fun and not to be asked any psychic questions.
My friends know that when I’m at our crochet circle, it is about taking a break from my work and just having some fun with the girls! But it’s not always so easy.
She quickly tried changing the subject, but the other ladies started to talk about their own children. Some of the older gals even brought up their grandchildren who were recently divorced, or separated.
Many comments were made like, “Times are tough,” and, “These days things aren’t the same as they were when we were growing up,” and “Life is no longer as simple as it used to be back in the day,” and also, “Technology is ruining a lot of couples these days.”