life experience
Seeking Spirituality
During the years of private study with my teacher, Adyashanti, he used to speak a lot about belief systems and spiritual practices. I learned from him, among other things, that to believe something, as opposed to having a direct experience of it, are two entirely different things. If you believe something because you’ve been made to feel guilty for being a non-believer, or merely because you think it’s the ‘right’ thing to do, it’s likely that this belief will be challenged throughout your life.
However, if you have a direct experience that is of a spiritual nature, you’re more likely to remember it and the impact it had on you, and you are more likely to truly believe as a result. The direct spiritual experiences we have, whether through meditation, dreams, or psychic and paranormal phenomena, are the ones that help us grow as an individual and bring us into alignment with our soul.
Why is this? If you think about it, we are bombarded with information every day that our minds must either believe, memorize, and somehow apply. Our authentic state, soul or higher self, has a direct, intuitive knowing that doesn’t come from this information or thoughts triggered by the external world. This kind of ‘knowing’ comes from within. When we have moments where our ‘everyday mind’ is out of the way, either through a psychic vision, spiritual experience, dream, or simply a quiet, meditative state, we come back in touch with this original ‘inner knowing’ or ‘beingness.’
Some call this ‘enlightenment.’ According to my teacher, Adyashanti, and from my own direct experiences, true enlightenment is not something that can be learned, rather it’s the ‘unlearning’ of all thoughts we’ve taken in.
There Is Nothing To ‘Fix’
If we can appreciate that everything in the Universe is composed of, and moved by energy, we would also have to concur that this magnanimous mysterious energy vibrates.
If this vibration determines how the state of matter’s density and frequency is measured and monitored, we must also conclude that like sound, the occurrence of its regularity in various designated patterns (as with elements) institute reliability in the state of transferred chaos. It is through the exchange of energy (attraction, cohesion and repulsion) that life is established and maintained. In other words balance is arbitrarily formed by the opposite action undertaken.
Now, after having said all of that, in the entire elementary, short, diffused chemistry or physics lesson…what is my point? My point is that in the midst of our seemingly chaotic lives, we are living very much in balance, but we refuse to accept it. We spend most of our precious life time seeking to find something we already are in possession of.
We are vibrating to and through the essential experiences including all of the circumstances, people, places, things and so-called problems necessary for us to exist. We are not ‘out of line,’ or out of order, or out of chances. We won’t be still enough to completely feel the fragility of our inherent unconquerable strength.
We are always on the lookout for something (a career, relationship, lover, friends, family, involvement) that is better, newer, shinier, emotionally less complicated, faster to bring desired results, easier, more beneficial, productive, financially rewarding, gratifying, and certainly less stressful.
Unconditional Love Is Heaven On Earth
When I was a little girl, I remember going to my grandparents’ home during the summers. I couldn’t wait for the summer to arrive, to get to spend time with them. It was always magical. The months leading up to those wonderful stays were always filled with anticipation and excitement.
Always having something to look forward to adds to the enjoyment and contentment of life. Whether it’s an upcoming event or something we are looking forward to, such trying an adventurous activity, or reading that new book you’re excited to dive into. Books have always been for me a bit of a mental vacation, because you can relax, while going places to imaginative places in your mind.
I believe the magic and enjoyment of getting to spend time with my grandparents came from it being filled with love and attention. Thinking back now, they were the only adults, when I was younger, who gave me their full attention and truly unconditional love. They were never too busy to sit and talk with me, or share stories from their childhood, which I found very fascinating.
Not all Grandparents are alike though. Some can be all about gossip, judgment, neglect, even abuse, and not the best role models. I was lucky that on my mother’s side of the family this was not the case. My maternal grandparents had all the traits and attributes one would imagine a truly loving grandparent to have.
I have memories of being in tears when having to leave and go back home. There I just spent my days alone in my room, as my parents were often too busy with church and other social groups they were involved in. I suspect all that time I was forced to spend on my own, helped me to expand and open my mind, to tap into those deeper areas of the psyche that are often left dormant.
We Are All Worthy Of Forgiveness
Sometimes my brokenhearted clients ask when the person they love will also hurt the way they have been hurt by them. They have been wounded, sometimes very deeply, and they so desperately want to know that the one who hurt them will also suffer in the end. Preferably, a lot!
They desire retribution for all the pain, suffering and deceit they have suffered due this person. There has to be some kind of justice. Isn’t there some form of karma, they will ask pleadingly.
Some spiritual teachings and belief systems suggest that our most emotionally challenging experiences in this lifetime occur as a result of life lessons we have agreed upon with other souls, before being born into this particular lifetime. This concept is known as our life plan, soul agreement or soul contract, among other.
These challenges can present themselves as blockages and patterns, that we aspire to finally recognize on a soul level and then to rise above – too often after repeating the same lessons many times over during this lifetime and others.
Yes, it makes sense to me that there is a profound lesson in harsh, life-changing experiences, but it’s not so easy to see it that way, and to believe it could be something we would have agreed to, especially when we hurt so badly now.
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair. We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Haunting That Still Haunts
Have you ever experienced something that was so scary you just couldn’t forget about it? No matter how many years have passed you still can’t get it out of your mind? I have had several such terrifying experiences in my life. Try as I might, I just simply can’t forget about those occurrences.
I can’t forget for example, about the time I experienced severe sleep paralysis. It was frightening beyond measure. I also can’t forget the feeling I got one time that I had to leave the place where I was living, and that I had to leave now. Later that week I discovered that the person I was sharing living space with, had been murdered. So, if your intuition tells to get out of an environment, listen to it!
Another experience that I will never forget had to do with a Ouija board. It was several decades ago. My friends and I were dabbling with one. We asked for a spirit entity to come through and we did make contact with someone… or something. It made the people I was with very scared, so they all left. But I continued to play with the board on my own, and when I asked what the spirit’s name was, and it spelled out the name Ralph.
I asked Ralph what he did in life and he said that he had owned a farm, which was on the land where I was living at the time. He also revealed that many animals had died on that land, because there had been a terrible plague and a shortage of medicine that could save them. After he lost his cattle, he built a home which ended up burning down to the ground. So, there had been a lot of suffering occurring on that piece of land.
I later did some research and found out that there had in fact been a farm on that property long ago. I also did a ritual to help the spirits of the farmer and his animals find peace. I blessed the land and burned lots of sage.
The Life Lesson Of ‘Making Plans’
‘Making plans’ has been a life lesson for me. Whenever I make serious plans, they always tend to fall through. Something usually comes up, or it just doesn’t work out.
It has been at times almost comical. I even started telling people, whenever they invite me to attend an event, or go somewhere with them, or sign up for something important, that I plan on possibly doing this with them, but I am not going to say it is definite….because then it probably won’t work out.
In time I came to realize that the Universe was teaching me, over and over again, to not make any major plans. The lesson for me has been simply to never say yes to anything with absolute certainty. Why? Because nothing is ever guaranteed. Things change, things happen… and not only to us, but also to others. It is often a domino effect that can impact our plans in many ways. Today, tomorrow, nothing is ever guaranteed.
In the process I have also learned to curb my emotions. You may find this odd or strange, but it has been my truth for more than four decades. In my experience, whenever I get super excited about something, it either gets taken away from me, or something happens to changes it for the worse.