wisdom
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Things Will Always Fall Into Place
During a recent interview for a paranormal podcast, I was asked what the wisest advice or guidance was that my spirit guide or angel had ever given me. The answer was easy, “Fear not, things will always fall into place.”
I was rushing around one day, hurried, feeling like there was just too much I had to do. I was feeling stressed out and anxious. All I wished for was to arrive at a place of stillness and contentment. But I forget at times that we can find stillness and inner peace right now, in any given moment. It is all about perspective and knowing that things change constantly, and our circumstances may very soon be different.
Sometimes we can become trapped in a way of thinking that isn’t good for us. We get into a rut and we feel there is no way out, or that things won’t ever change. But they always do in the end. That is the thing: knowing that circumstances always change and energy is always shifting.
Instead of being sucked into this kind of negative thought pattern, try the following strategies instead.
Keep a positive attitude. Become the energy you wish to attract. Like attracts like.
Visualize to materialize. I like to do this literally right on the cusp of sleep. It really makes things manifest for me easily this way for the next day, or days ahead.
Take Negative Emotions All The Way Home
When life gets tough or something happens to upset me, whether it be big or small, I make it a point to become very quiet and mindful. I do this to get clear, so that I can see all sides of a situation, as well as stay open to learning any possible spiritual lessons that are being offered.
Typically, there’s a strong emotion linked to what has occurred. If I can allow it to be there in a calm way, I can start to see the situation from a clearer perspective.
If the situation involves being hurt, for example, I take some time out – long enough to not hastily defend myself or problem-solve. Doing this creates an opening where the Divine can step in and take over.
I like to think of it as having a weight on me and imagining a group of cherub angels coming along to lift the heavy burden emotions I’m experiencing. They then take it from me and fly away. Though this is just a visualization, there is great relief at times in turning situations over to a higher power.
I have noticed, as I get older, that certain things that used to bother me so much, and would take weeks or months to get over, I now release in just a day, or even a couple of hours. This is because I no longer allow myself to be overwhelmed by the emotion in the moment.
I believe what helps to accomplish this is going beyond the difficult emotion, into a realm or a land less frequented. I refer to is as “taking it all the way home.” What I mean by this is to examine what it is I am most afraid of.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
Love Is The Healing Force
I grew up in a Christian family. In fact, it was going to seminary, and exploring world religions, that eventually led me to practice metaphysics and intuitive consulting as a full-time profession. Being trained and ordained in a Christian organization has also given me a unique perspective on alternative spirituality and metaphysics.
Jesus is, in fact, one of the spiritual guides I connect with when I work with people. This has made me realize that Jesus, the central figure in Christianity, is often misunderstood by many people. In the many years of connecting with Jesus, I am confident that he never had the intention to create a formal, organized religion. In fact, often the religious attributes attached to Jesus are far more complex than his original core message.
Jesus taught very simple strategies for life. I think sometimes these strategies are considered too simple by some people. When asked, Jesus was able to sum up his teachings in three simple statements. Someone inquired about an authentic spiritual path and Jesus gave two commandments and then gave a third statement, “In these two commandments rest all of the law and the prophets.”
This third statement is quite profound. He was stating that every spiritual text that had ever been written, or would ever be written, could be summed up in two commandments. This means that in Jesus’ perspective, if a person simply abided by these two commandments, they would be fulfilling the fundamental guidelines associated with religious and spiritual practice.
If you are interested in Jesus’ teachings, or interested in following the path he taught, then the good news is that you are already following the second ‘commandment.’ I have been living on this planet long enough to recognize that every person is already following this second commandment, which says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
A Treasure In Every Intuition
Living a life tuned into God’s grace, through my intuition, never ceases to amaze me. It is ever-adventurous – never old, dull, or flat. Why is it so exciting and fresh to me? Because every moment is in the moment. Each sign, sense, and gift is unique, individual, and reciprocal. At every step there is potential to experience the unexpected – something magical, mystical, miraculous, unpredictable.
Unpredictable? Isn’t that what psychic ability is all about – being able to see and predict the future? Not necessarily. Intuitive gifts come in many diverse shapes and forms – as many as there are people. Some have the ability to foresee things before they happen, but not all psychics receive such predictive vision, and even those who do, aren’t necessarily shown all things, in all detail, all the time. It is a gift, up to the Source and Supreme Gift Giver to grant.
What makes an intuitive life richly rewarding, and conducive for helping others, is the openness to receive and transmit what is divinely placed in one’s awareness, beyond the ordinary range of sense perception. Every genuine reader has something beautiful and meaningful to offer. As there is a multi-dimensional reality, so are there a multitude of angles from which truth may be revealed to one’s intuitive sense of sight, sound, and touch.
Consulting with too many different readers can produce confusion, due to variations in the information received. Most often, however, these differences can be reconciled with deeper, discerning insight to understand how they weave together, to create an enriched texture of awareness of the many layers, sides, and subtleties of a subject.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.