wisdom
Choosing Peace Over Conflict
There will always be moments in life when we have to choose between peace or conflict. This was the case for me just yesterday.
About half an hour prior to the incident, I had taken my dogs for a walk in the countryside surrounding my home. Adjacent to the pathway we walked, there were a few men working in the field. I didn’t actually see them, but their car was parked up close by, and what I assumed was their lunch had been perched in a plastic bag in one of the olive trees.
Knowing that the curiosity of my dogs would be stirred by that bag of food, I kept a beady eye on them, particularly the two that were off-leash. Thankfully, the only thing my youngest dog appeared to be interested in was someone else’s medium-sized dog that was also in the vicinity of the workman’s feast. I’d assumed that this dog was with the workers, but on taking the same route this morning, I realized that he belongs to the actual farm there.
So, yesterday, after the walk, I was outside my house, when the worker’s car pulled up to my fence. Two young men got out and one of them asked, “Why did you allow your dogs to steal the old man’s bocadillo (a sandwich made with Spanish bread)?”
“They didn’t steal it?” I replied.
“Oh, but they did,” he said. “My friend here saw it happen!”
I took a moment and thought about how to handle this situation in the most peaceful and spiritually aware manner. It wasn’t such a big deal, but obviously the old man felt that he had been robbed.
The Power Of Mindfulness
Many spiritual and metaphysical teachers focus much attention on spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness. The goal of these practices is to allow our consciousness to shift away from the past and the future, to focus instead on the present moment.
It is important to understand that the past is over. There is nothing taking place in the past any longer. This is important to understand if someone has a habit of rehashing the past in their mind. It doesn’t matter if someone is focusing on positive past experiences or negative events. Too much attention on the past is never useful.
The future is another area where people expend a lot of mental attention. Fantasy and worry are the two most common focuses when obsessing over the future. However, there is no amount of fantasy or worry that can ever make someone’s life better.
When we expend too much of our energy on the past or future, we are sacrificing the precious present moment. For this reason many spiritual teachings and traditions encourage mindfulness and meditation. These practices allow us to recognize our daily thought patterns and help us gain an understanding of where our attention is focused.
The present is the only moment that is real and that truly matters. This is where everything is happening – in the now. This is also the only moment where you have any real power.
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair. We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Life Lesson Of ‘Making Plans’
‘Making plans’ has been a life lesson for me. Whenever I make serious plans, they always tend to fall through. Something usually comes up, or it just doesn’t work out.
It has been at times almost comical. I even started telling people, whenever they invite me to attend an event, or go somewhere with them, or sign up for something important, that I plan on possibly doing this with them, but I am not going to say it is definite….because then it probably won’t work out.
In time I came to realize that the Universe was teaching me, over and over again, to not make any major plans. The lesson for me has been simply to never say yes to anything with absolute certainty. Why? Because nothing is ever guaranteed. Things change, things happen… and not only to us, but also to others. It is often a domino effect that can impact our plans in many ways. Today, tomorrow, nothing is ever guaranteed.
In the process I have also learned to curb my emotions. You may find this odd or strange, but it has been my truth for more than four decades. In my experience, whenever I get super excited about something, it either gets taken away from me, or something happens to changes it for the worse.
Spiritual Healing
Healing from a serious or chronic illness may happen under different circumstances, and it some cases it can appear fully spontaneous. Behind every healing option there is a complex process which we never fully understand.
Our mindset is however an important player in how things unfold. But it is more than just having a positive attitude—it has many facets. And since the term ‘mind’ is a more modern concept, I prefer to refer to ‘spirit,’ which encompasses the mind in all its complex depth, along with emotions and sensations.
Spiritual healing can be defined in many ways, through many traditions. It seems to me useful to talk about the effect on the person, and understand it from that point of view. An experience of any kind may be a spiritual healing process, whenever a breakthrough takes place, or a release of inner pain occurs to make room for acceptance.
This might not be a painless process, otherwise it would happen much more easily, but it is a necessary step, because it allows us to abandon a repeating loop focused on pain. As an example, I can think of someone in a dysfunctional marriage, into which much work has been invested, including some counseling or therapy, but the only thing still keeping it together is the desire to ‘not fail.’