toxic environment
Choose Your Tribe Wisely
We need to face the fact that some people are unfriendly, heartless, and simply rude! I discovered recently why someone I know personally acts so unfeeling and uncaring towards others. She always seems so wrapped up in her own world and shows no regard for anyone else. This has brought about much dis-ease in her own family and she has also gone through numerous failed romantic relationships.
During a recent family gathering, I was observing her aura and noticed that she suffers tremendous guilt and envy of others. Meanwhile, she is always looking for acceptance and comfort from her many boyfriends, who only stick around until they find out how manipulative and vindictive she really is.
Spirit showed me that she truly hates herself and projects it onto others. She is just not happy and slowly drains the energy of those around her. They usually do not realize this until it is too late. I do wonder how those who orbit around this person can manage to stick around at all, as it seems dis-ease and drama just follows her everywhere she goes in life.
Before her sister’s funeral, she was even snapping and yelling at her youngest daughter for something as trivial as a puzzle piece accidentally dropped on the floor. I asked one of her other children how she grew up to be so loving and sweet, having been raised around that kind of negativity? She said the credit belonged to her grandparents, as well as a few other family members.
I refuse to be unkind to anyone. It is in my nature to be civil and courteous to everyone I meet. It is my motto to leave others feeling better than they were before I interacted with them. But many people, will not even smile, no matter what you say or do. Spirit says this is due to their ‘spark’ being blown out by their own bad life choices and negative thoughts. It’s a matter of free will.
Dragging A ‘Knapsack Of Irrelevance’
Reading for a client recently revealed her toxic work environment, and how one co-worker in particular was making things very unpleasant for her at the office. It reminded me of a short-lived, but very unpleasant working situation I found myself in years ago.
I was scheduled to work with a woman for a couple of weeks who had an extremely negative attitude and was having a profound effect on me. I shared this unpleasant situation with my boyfriend at the time, and his view was that I was just carrying around a ‘knapsack of irrelevance.’
I was so upset! How could he even think that? However, he did give me some food for thought when he then also said, “Just consider how you will think about this situation in a few years from now. How much will it matter then?”
Well, that did help to put things into perspective. And guess what? Just as he predicted, I forgot all about it until this recent reading with my client! Yes, he was correct. After all the years, remembering that brief work situation made me realize that it never had any major relevance or importance to my life. Stressing and worrying about it was indeed just a waste of time and energy.
I met this particular ex-boyfriend in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). He was very well-versed in the twelve steps and other tools helpful in achieving and maintaining sobriety. He also gave me an Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet, which I have to this day, which reads:
Smudging Your Home To Clear Negative Energy
It’s a good idea to cleanse the energy in your home once a week, in my opinion. I do this with smudging, going around the perimeters of my house asking the powers that be to bless and protect my home and those who dwell in it. It helps to keep negativity and toxic energy out.
Smudging is an ancient shamanic practice and a ceremony practiced by Indigenous peoples of the Americas, which involves the burning of sacred herbs and resins. The smoke is believed to neutralize negative energy – as it clears it takes the unwanted, toxic energy with it, releasing it into another realm where it can be regenerated into positive energy.
I have also attended Catholic church ceremonies several times in my lifetime. They always start with incense at the beginning of a service. I like to describe it as ‘cleaning the negativity and toxic cobwebs’ that have accumulated. Yes, homes collect all kinds of energy over time, just like dust on a lampshade. And it needs to be cleaned! Every home benefits from a frequent smudging.
I especially like to always smudge after any negative encounter that may have taken place in my space – literally anything negative, be it the presence of an actual person, a bad dream, or telephonic argument with a loved one, I like to clear out that energy, as it makes my home brighter and lighter. As a highly sensitive empath, I just love the feeling of fresh, peaceful energy in my home.
On smudging days, I first dust my home and clean it, always with the windows wide open. Then I smudge myself, before smudging my home. I cleanse my own aura from my feet up, then go back down in a swirling motion all around my entire body. I use both hands when doing this, to evenly move the smudging stick around me. I visualize my aura being cleansed completely.
The Spirit Rituals Of Life – Part 3
Pain can just make things downright miserable. We can have the best of everything: a great job; a wonderful, caring spouse; a wonderful home; wealth and luxury; the list goes on, but if you’re in emotional pain, or suffering from a chronic illness, it is very difficult to connect spiritually… let alone do anything uplifting every day.
But, committing to rituals that are good for us every day, can help relieve the pain. I have many clients who suffer from fibromyalgia, depression, and all kinds of pain. One thing that I can say for sure is that whatever may help or work for one person, may not for another. Each person needs to be helped on a individual level.
I have found that emotional pain is sometimes just as painful as physical pain. Those that have lost loved ones sometimes don’t want to get out of bed, just like my client who suffers from migraines, she just wants to lay in bed most days with the shades drawn and to be left alone.
While I was alone in the woods, I asked some questions regarding pain, and how pain can help us to take action to connect with more happiness or contentment.
How can we relieve physical pain? Spirit says, “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes me stronger.” Do things that help alleviate pain. For example, one of my clients suffered from severe osteoarthritis and arthritis, so she took it upon herself to start taking supplements that build up the joints and help cushion the bones when they grind against each other. She said that this one little daily ritual is what has saved her from experiencing the pain on a grand scale. It has minimized her discomfort remarkably.
Is It Worth Your Health And Happiness?
We are usually deep in conversation, accompanied by a lot of belly laughs, when I meet with my group of crochet girlfriends every other week. We meet around a large table, yarn in hand, to make lots of wonderful goodies to give away at Christmas, or whatever festive holiday is upon us.
Things turned serious at a recent gathering, when one of the gals in our group starting talking about her daughter, who recently separated from her husband. She said a few things about their situation and then looked up at me, but decided not to ask, as I was there for fun and not to be asked any psychic questions.
My friends know that when I’m at our crochet circle, it is about taking a break from my work and just having some fun with the girls! But it’s not always so easy.
She quickly tried changing the subject, but the other ladies started to talk about their own children. Some of the older gals even brought up their grandchildren who were recently divorced, or separated.
Many comments were made like, “Times are tough,” and, “These days things aren’t the same as they were when we were growing up,” and “Life is no longer as simple as it used to be back in the day,” and also, “Technology is ruining a lot of couples these days.”
Humor – A Message From My Guides
We encourage everyone to remember the expression, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
Gossip and rumors abound. People overreact to perceived slights and unintended insults. Hair-trigger tempers flare and social media platforms expose issues for all to see. Friends interject their opinions without all the facts. Disagreements become exacerbated in the resulting spotlight. Politics can be polarizing. Stress levels are through the roof. Road rage is no longer an isolated incident. You can feel surrounded by potential conversational landmines.
At times like this, it is important to step back, take a breath and take a break. Come back to the issue with fresh eyes and determine whether it is truly worthy of consideration and comment, or whether it is a tempest in a teapot that will pass on its own. If necessary, deal with the issue using logic and forethought, rather than high emotion.
In times of stress, seeing the lighthearted side of anything can seem difficult, if not altogether impossible. However, there are some ways that you can soften the impact.
If you can come to terms with the idea of worrying only about those things you can really control and take the necessary action to control them, it will make it much easier to compartmentalize and to choose where to focus your thoughts and resources.
How To Boost Your Confidence
Sometimes I wish that confidence was for sale! Feeling confident can make all the difference, for example, when you are anxious about accepting a social invitation, without the need for spending hours of internal dialogue trying to convince yourself it will be okay for you to attend. Confidence also means being able to easily decide what to wear for the big night out, and so on.
Indeed, I have marveled at other people’s ability to do such things with ease. However, these very same people are no different than you or me. It is just that they have mastered their mindset with regards being confident, and so can you! Here’s how:
Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Have you noticed certain people in your life encroaching on your space and time? If so, it may be time to implement some polite, yet firm boundaries. By doing so, you should find that this really builds your confidence in both professional and personal relationships, and you no longer feel drained or undermined by specific individuals you have to share some of your time and space with.
Practice Self-Awareness
We hear a lot these days about being more self-aware, but just what is meant by this? Well, it simply means having the ability to recognize when you are falling into a pattern of self-sabotage. Let’s say, for example, you are due to meet a person who continually makes significant demands on you, but you find great difficulty in saying no to them. By learning the art of becoming more self-aware, you can plan, in advance, how to remain strong and firm with this particular individual, so that your relationship with them becomes far healthier.