self-worth
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Be The Star Of Your Show!
Are you the star of your own show? If not, then maybe it is time. For once put yourself first by honoring your spirit, your sacred body temple, and the higher work you have been called to complete in this lifetime.
You can begin by honoring your spirit with deeply soulful ‘food.’ This can take the form of meditation, prayer, or simply enjoying whatever self-care activity or spiritual practice feeds your spirit the most. But in doing so, it is important to consciously disconnect from the mundane world around you, and allow the blissful energy of Spirit Divine to pour in.
As I write these words, I can literally feel the healing energy of the sunlight bathing me, even though I am logging on from deep in the cold Rockies on a cloudy afternoon. This intense energy is a message to my soul that each of us has the ability to tap into spiritual warmth and renewal within a single thought.
My late mother used to call this connection with the Divine the I AM presence that is abundantly accessible to us all. It is important to tap into this presence as a reminder that we are spirit energy, divinely guided, protected, and in ‘the spotlight of our own shows.’
Being a ‘star’ also means that you must take deliberate time to honor your sacred body temple. You do this by enjoying healthy foods and balanced nutrition.
Being Grateful For Every Thank You
It occurred to me recently, while I was out driving in the Spanish countryside where I now live, that most of the local people appear to be really happy and content. They often talk of things they are grateful for, and these are rarely their material belongings. Then I had a big ‘aha’ moment!
As a child I grew up in various Spanish speaking places. I learned, when someone thanks you for something, the appropriate response is to say, “De nada!” In other words, ‘it’s nothing,’ or ‘don’t mention it.’
On my return to Spain a few years ago, I discovered a different response to a thank you. These days a gracias (thank you) is responded to with gracias a ti (thanks to you). Also what I noticed is, when I got thanked in return, it felt really good, as if good energy was being directed my way.
I met one of my Spanish friends for coffee today. We both enjoy our chats about all things spiritual. She is studying metaphysics in various disciplines, and I have read for her, as well as her mom. I brought up this topic about how ‘thank you’ is replied to differently, compared to when I first started learning Spanish many years ago. “It is not entirely the case,” she responded. “There are still those who say de nada.”
You Don’t Need A New Year For A Fresh Start!
Ever since my early childhood, I have always adored, and still do love the New Year. It is a thrilling time, after all, of fresh starts, new goals and exciting plans. But as the years rolled by, and I came into my mature years, I have also learned that whilst enjoying the New Year, we can actually have a fresh start at any time!
There is need to wait for a particular moment in time to exact any change in our lives. It is true to say that for a lot of us, as the old year comes to an end, it can be somewhat tempting to procrastinate by offsetting any new goals until the next New Year, when in fact they could have been implemented sooner. Furthermore, the sooner we start to implement positive change, the sooner we begin to feel the benefits.
The following guidelines may help you to make a fresh start whenever you choose.
Have A Vision
If you enjoy making resolutions on New Year’s Eve, then, by all means, go ahead. However, you would be wise to strengthen your commitment to your long-term goals, which align with your actual core values. By doing so, you should have an awful lot more to gain than one successful resolution could ever bring you.
After all, it is how we evolve in the long run that really matters. In simple terms, by putting your words into action, preferably by using the guidelines outlined above, you should be much more successful in achieving your goals, whatever time of year it may be.
How To Manifest Love
You might be asking yourself, does he love me? Is he into me, like I am into him? Or, where is my partner, my soulmate? Is he ever going to come into my life?
Manifesting love is at the top of the list for many people, next to money. But it can be a real struggle to attain a good relationship that is loving, caring, giving, respectful. Most of us want a healthy relationship where we feel desired, respected and appreciated, but many of us do not know how to attain it.
Either people are at a loss on how to begin the search, or they just don’t know how to go about building a lasting love connection. They don’t understand they’re doing wrong, or why it hasn’t shown up yet.
Some also feel that they truly deserve it, while others may believe they don’t. And those who do not feel deserving of a good relationship tend to fall into the trap of settling for: “Well, it is easy, it is comfortable. It’s better than nothing.” Too many people feel they do not deserve love and do not deserve to feel this level of happiness.
I believe that a loving, fulfilling relationship is available to anyone who desires it. To attract such a relationship one simply has to apply the basic principles of manifesting. These guidelines are universal, no matter what the desired outcome may be. The basic steps I’ve used to manifest things into my life are as follows:
Clarify Your Desires
Decide what you want and need. I mean clearly decide what type of relationship you want. Who do you want your lover or partner to be? It need not be specific in superficial details, such as their name or hair color, but who are they as a person? How will they treat you? What kind of personality do they have? How much attraction will you feel? Do you share religious and or political views? Are finances and job status important?