self-respect
Remove Toxic People From Your Life
Have you ever had the presence of an emotional vampire in your life? This can happen in a love relationship, a friendship, or with a family member.
You will feel like your soul is being drained, you are not yourself. Your joy is gone when you are around them, you can’t be yourself. If all of this describes how you feel, then maybe it’s time to do some soul searching. Remember who you are and how important you are.
I have counseled so many people who are normally outgoing, loving, supportive, wonderful souls, but sometimes these folks are so giving that they give their power away. They forget to protect and take care of themselves.
Are there people in your life whose needs seem to be all that matters, but yours never do? Love is not love and friendship is not friendship if you have to put yourself aside on a daily basis in a relationship. We must constantly remind ourselves of this.
Sure, relationships are give and take, but when they seem to be only take and take and there is no giving, something is wrong.
Who we surround ourselves with, who we give our time to, greatly affect the quality of our lives and our spirit. If you suspect that someone is a toxic person, do not be afraid to set boundaries and make changes in your life.
You deserve to feel nothing less than wonderful and lovable, as God, Source, Spirit, the Divine intended you to be. Do not let fear make you settle for less than what you are worth.
Is Their Kind Gesture Selfless Love?
I’m sure you know some wonderful people who just seem to do or say the right thing at the right time. It really makes you feel good to have friends who go out of their way to bring you some chicken noodle soup when they hear you’re not feeling well. Those friends are like jewels!
I love doing charity work. It makes my heart feel good to just give without wanting anything in return. It is always a great feeling to be able to do something good for another person. It makes me feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose in life to help others in any way I can.
It could be a kind word, or giving them some insight or answers to a question that can set them on the right path in life, or even knitting a scarf for children who don’t have anything warm to wear because their parents can’t afford it. It gives me a sense of happiness that you just can’t get any other way. It makes you feel connected to the source of all that is good and right in this world.
But I have also known people who do things just to get something in return. They will always remind you of this great deed they did just to get something from you. Or they will make you feel guilty for something they did for you. That is not a real friend.
I have also known people who will do things to get a free psychic reading, not realising how much time, energy and dedication it takes to do meaningful psychic work. There are times when I work too much and actually get sick from it. It drains me so much that I have to take a few days or even weeks off.
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
The Life-Long Journey Of Self-Love
Self-love is essential for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. It is vital to have a positive, loving attitude towards yourself and take care of your own needs. Not only is this essential for living a happy and healthy life, but it also empowers you to be more loving and caring towards others.
Self-love is often misunderstood. Many people think that self-love is only about pampering oneself, indulging in extravagance, or buying yourself expensive things. It is much more than that. It is not about being selfish, self-indulgent, or narcissistic. Instead, it is about accepting yourself, taking care of yourself and understanding your true worth.
Truly loving yourself is therefore about knowing your worth, appreciating your unique strengths and abilities, and treating yourself with compassion and kindness. It is also about taking personal responsibility for your life, making choices and decisions that serve your highest good, and letting go of negative thoughts and self-destructive behaviors.
It is also important to realize that self-love is a journey, not a destination. It is a life-long process that is part of our soul purpose in this lifetime. It is a state of being that requires patience, dedication, commitment and effort.
Cultivating self-love begins with understanding yourself, accepting your flaws, and learning to forgive yourself. It involves setting boundaries and taking responsibility for your own needs and happiness. It is also about cultivating positive relationships and learning to trust yourself.