mental health
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Wishing You A ‘Less-Is-More’ Year In 2021
The year 2020 was challenging, but not all bad. In fact, it helped me to get my life a little more ‘tuned-up.’ I slowed down and really took stock of what is most important.
I was able to spend more time at home, reflecting on what matters most, and getting more in touch with parts of myself that have been neglected for too long. Sometimes there are sacrifices when it comes to enlightenment and I guess that could be said for 2020.
I also had more time for self-care and learning the importance of it. Not just teaching the importance of it, but actually taking some of the tools to bat for myself!
I have also noticed my relationships improved a lot. I stopped communicating with all the energy thieves and psychic vampires, avoided social media, and enhanced those meaningful relationships that needed more love and care.
I do believe I generally live in a very mindful way, with awareness and discernment, but 2020 somehow just helped me see things with clear 20/20 vision on so many levels.
It may seem weird, but actually I do hope 2021 will be somewhat similar – minus the coronavirus, of course, but with continued awareness and clarity. I do not want that aspect of the year to end. It has enhanced my spirituality, health and well-being on so many levels. I think it would be such a missed opportunity to just back to the rat race mentality and start living again with all the usual pressure and stress again.
I am so incredibly grateful for the time spent at home this past year. It has been downright delightful. Who would not get great joy from curling up and spending time with yourself, your cats, and reading cool books?
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
Realign Your Spirit This New Year
With the difficult year 2020 finally in our rear-view mirror, it is time to stop for a moment, clear our minds, hearts and spirit, and embrace the hope, happiness, well-being and prosperity that awaits us in the new year. We do not have to carry the pain and chaos of 2020 forward with us.
The first step to achieve this would be to check our alignment body, mind and spirit. Alignment is defined as the “arrangement in a straight line, or in correct or appropriate relative positions,” as well as a “position of agreement or alliance.” Happiness, well-being and abundance becomes blocked for us when we are not in agreement and alliance with our spirit.
Many of us have been in survival mode the past year, instead of in thrive mode. Dramatic changes in our health and wellness, career, business, finances, relationships, family and social life, and our lifestyles in general, can cause our soul energy to go sideways and out of alignment, just like being sideswiped by a car.
If you step off a curb suddenly, fall, twist an ankle, or pull a muscle, it will often put unusual stress on our spine and central nervous system. When the spine is misaligned a myriad of symptoms such as headaches, lower back pain, neck pain and numbness can manifest. Symptoms like these are the body’s way of letting us know something needs to be urgently attended to.
The same holds true for our spiritual well-being. When our energy, mental processes, and emotions begin to run amuck, our spiritual alignment needs to be corrected to regain our balance. Our body, mind and spirit must all be facing the same direction for us to move forward.
Staying in alignment with Spirit enables us to bounce back quickly, stay on course and manifest happiness and prosperity in our lives. Alignment with Spirit is our natural and preferred state, and while we may find ourselves temporarily off for various reasons, we are never too far to come back.
Time To Cleanse The ‘Energy Clutter’ Of 2020
The year 2020 is coming to an end. It has been a challenging year for most of us, to say the least. Some have lost everything that they thought was important in their lives, while others discovered what truly is important in their lives.
In many cases, the material and superficial things that we used to cherish so much have now been replaced by the simple longing to just hug a loved one, touch a friend’s hand, or just be part of a crowd of like-minded people at a music festival or sports event.
It has indeed been an exceedingly difficult year for our relationships, social life, careers, businesses, finances, and especially our mental health and well-being. The lockdowns, social distancing and mask wearing (or lack thereof) has been taking its toll.
Mental illness is said to at an all-time high, and suicides rates have increased significantly. Families will be celebrating the holidays this year without one or more of their family members, and many are having to grieve the tragic passing of a loved one.
You may look at all this stress, chaos and suffering, and ask yourself if any possible good can come from the events and circumstances of the past year?
Well, I do believe 2020 to be the best opportunity we will ever have in our lifetime to truly find the deeper meaning and purpose of life. This is the ideal time to identify everything that is not important in our lives and release what no longer serves us.
This is a time to cleanse your aura, clear your vibration, and discard the ‘energy clutter’ in your life. Loving and caring for yourself is fundamental at the moment. Be kind to yourself and do not judge yourself harshly for things you have no control over. Just do the best you can with what you have and take it one day at a time. We are simply being sidelined for a period of time. This to shall pass.
White sage is my go-to for clearing my living space and my personal energies. When bad vibes and negative energy clutter start to pile up, I take a few moments to simply breathe and relax, cleanse my aura with white sage, then breathe again. It lifts my inner being.
A Silver Lining In Times Of Uncertainty
We grow in our spiritual awareness and insight in different ways. Some of us read spiritual material by great authors, for example, and learn from their wise teachings, while others meditate and go deep within for guidance, and so on. However, in my experience the most powerful catalyst for spiritual growth is a time of trauma or crisis.
With the Covid-19 pandemic currently raging around the world, many people have lost loved ones, income, savings, businesses and homes. These losses can be devastating, especially when children are involved. Many people are in grief, many are lonely and isolated. Normal life has been greatly curtailed for many, with no clear end in sight.
It has also been an extremely stressful, challenging time for our essential frontline workers and healthcare professionals. The novel coronavirus has affected everyone to some extent, and it is during such trying times that many of us turn to Spirit, or the God of our understanding, and ask: why?
In these times our faith in a higher power, in ourselves, and in our world at large, becomes even more pivotal to our mental health and personal well-being. Hope and faith give us the strength and courage to carry on another day, regardless of not being able to see the end result at the moment. When we dig deep, we can often find untapped spiritual and psychological reserves, that we were unaware we actually had.
Although living through a global pandemic is an experience our generation has not encountered before, many of us are rising to the occasion by helping others in person, online or by donation.
People are also transforming from within. Many are becoming stronger, more resilient and positive, knowing that they will be able to surmount this challenge, and even support others throughout the ordeal too.
The Healing Embrace Of Mother Nature
Throughout my life, especially during the most difficult times, the one thing I have always been able to count on is Mother Nature. Gaia, the Great Mother, has always served me well.
I grew up in California, where there is an abundance of water: water falls, creeks, rivers, lakes and the spectacular Pacific Ocean. I had quick and easy access to hiking paths, and other adventures and recreational activities in the great outdoors. In fact, next to dance, hiking was my favorite form of exercise in my teenage years.
When times are difficult, I have always sought out nature. It is so much easier to block out other people’s negativity when all you can see is God’s magnificent creation. It’s divine intent, joy, beauty, harmony, balance, and timelessness.
In the arms of Mother Nature, there is the freedom to tune out all the noise and toxic energy of others…and just hear the voice of Go. It helps you to center yourself, and clear out the negative energy and drama other people sometimes bring into your life.
I find that those of us who live in large cities and urban areas are more likely to get swallowed up by the negative energy of others. We can simply not get away from it in our daily lives. Going back to a home every day, where there is still a lot of radiation and traffic noise, will not let you heal or reenergize.
We all need to take the time to hear our inner voice. No cars, no talking, no noise. Just our own thoughts and inner guidance. We must make time to just hear the voice of spirit within. Otherwise, the voice of the ego that we hear in our head becomes toxic with negative self-talk.
God’s natural world is a temple of healing, a shrine of grace, a sanctuary for the burdened soul. This is why nature must also be protected. By protecting nature, we are protecting God. Mature is a gift to us from Source. It belongs to all of us, including future generations.