isolation
Grandma Will Wear Her Big Girl Boots!
I recently discovered a website where you can “rent a friend”. It made me wonder, why would anyone need to rent a friend? Isn’t making friends a natural thing?
Normally, people who have something in common or enjoy each other’s company tend to gravitate toward each other. Even when attending a large social gathering, people tend to find like-minded people in the crowd to interact with. So, why in the world would anyone ever need to ‘rent’ a friend?
Well, the site had a list of occasions when one might want to purchase this type of service. Some of the things on the list included hiring a companion to be your plus one at a wedding, or to go to the theater, sightseeing, dinner, or even traveling abroad.
Essentially, the service connects people with common interests.
Then I wondered, are there really enough people who would use such a service to make it profitable? Apparently, there are and I should not have been be surprised. Our social life increasingly depends on digital technology.
Most of us are lucky if we can count on one hand the friends we can invite to join us on some of our adventures, let alone the few close friends we can count on in good times and bad. It is rare to have friends who have the time, money, or energy to do fun things with us on a regular basis.
Friends For A Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
I recently reconnected with a family friend with whom I had a very close relationship about three decades ago. She was like a mother figure in some ways, even though she was only about 12 years older than me at the time.
She is a very caring and nurturing person and was always there for me when my own mother was physically or emotionally unable. Her door was always open and she always had many people around her. After working in retail for many years, she changed careers to become a full-time caregiver, which she loved. After she retired and her husband passed away, she continued to be very active and had a very vibrant social life.
But during the Covid-19 pandemic, like many people her age, she experienced intense isolation and trauma. We spoke frequently on the phone during this time, and she was very much looking forward to the restrictions finally being lifted.
However, when the worst was over and most restrictions were lifted, her group of friends remained afraid to go out. Some of them even developed agoraphobia, a type of anxiety disorder that causes people to experience extreme, irrational fear of public places and unpredictable situations that they imagine could cause them harm, panic, or helplessness.
My dear friend was deeply affected by this. Seeing all her friends again was one of the things that kept her strong and hopeful through the chaos of the pandemic. But now she felt she had lost her tribe (beyond her family, who all have busy, demanding lives of their own and live several hours away). Fortunately, she is a determined soul who will not easily accept defeat and apparently she is gradually getting more of the old gang together for their usual fun meet-ups!
Remember, You Are Never Alone
The night is creeping up so quickly. You had so many plans for the day that has passed. You were sure that today was the day that miracles would come, that they would begin to flow. Yes, you have made some progress, you have removed some of the obstacles in your path, but here you are in the darkest part of the night, still in that place where doubt, anger, worry reign supreme.
In such moments we begin to feel alone. like a ship without a life raft, no one to call, no one to care.
Remember, we are never alone. The energies around us, the old ones, the ancients, the universe itself is here to hear our cry, our call. There are answers not only within ourselves, but there are messengers sent to Earth to listen, to hear, to care. These divine messengers come because the Great Spirit sends each one to us at just the right time.
An animal or bird we don’t normally see may appear on our path to instinctively give us the strength we may need on that path. An old beggar on the street asking for a few coins may speak words that stun us because they are exactly the words we needed to hear.
We reach out to chat groups for online support and hear craziness, advice that we can barely realistically believe. We have become cynical, forgetting that the universe puts what we need in our path when we need it.
There is no such thing as ‘being alone.’ We have the whole universe around us. So, sing out to the universe your pain, your despair. Your heart will receive the messages you need, the answers you want.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Solitude
In the age of digital ‘connection,’ we are becoming more socially disconnected than ever before in human history. In fact, loneliness has become a secret epidemic profoundly affecting many people all over the world. A 2022 study of the prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries found that “problematic levels of loneliness are experienced by a substantial proportion of the population in many countries.”
There is strong evidence that loneliness or social isolation is a serious health risk that increases premature death from all causes, similar to smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise. It is also specifically linked to higher rates of heart failure, dementia, depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Loneliness must however not be confused with solitude, which is in fact a powerful aspect of spiritual practice that has been practiced since the dawn of time.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone and isolated, regardless the amount of social contact. In other words, social isolation can cause a sense of loneliness in some of us, but we can also feel intensely lonely without being socially isolated. One can feel lonely even when there are many people present in our life.
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to be alone, usually for the purpose of personal reflection, recharging one’s energy, spiritual contemplation, or simply enjoyment of your own company. It’s about purposely choosing to be present with yourself, rather than the lack of social connection.
When Angels Are Passing
When I was nine years old, British troops were deployed to Northern Ireland after violence had erupted in the streets and the local police were no longer able to cope. Johnny, a young man from our neighborhood, was one of those soldiers called up. He was about 20 years old and lived just down the road from us.
Sadly, after just two months in active service, Johnny suffered a fatal bullet wound. His passing shocked our community and understandably devastated his family. My mother and I visited his mom at the time to convey our condolences. I remember her telling my mother that at the very moment of Johnny’s passing, everything in their family home went deathly silent because, as he put it, “the angels were passing.”
Her profound words left a lasting impression on me. At first, I wondered if this meant that angels sometimes also carry bad omens or bring us tidings of misfortune? But my mom soon put my mind at ease and explained that it meant quite the opposite. Angels show up to comfort and carry us through difficult times, such as at funerals and untimely passings. They bring us a sense of peace and support when it is most needed. With sudden passings, the angels make their presence known, like they did with Johnny’s family, at the moment of the person’s passing.
Almost 50 years later, my dear mother was a nursing home and not in the best of health. I was very worried about her. One morning, I drove into town to take my mind off things. I soon noticed the car park and the streets were exceptionally quiet and empty for this the time of the day, and month. I remember briefly thinking to myself it’s as if ‘the angels are passing.’ Later, when I arrived home, my husband informed me that my mother had passed.
Some Days Are Diamonds
Some days in life stand out as exceptional, memorable and even magical. Personally, I have experienced several such days to date. I can recall each of these enchanted days vividly, because of the way everything seemed to fall into place perfectly, from start to finish. On these days there were amazing synchronicities with people, places, events and circumstances that all came together to create the perfect moment in time. In these moments I felt completely aligned within myself, everyone else around me, as well as the entire Universe.
It’s been a while since I had such an amazing day. The Covid-19 pandemic especially have played a role in this, causing for me a sense of disjointedness and isolation. I made a real effort to get out of the house as much as possible, even having lunch here and there by myself. I even attempted to strike up new friendships, but none of these connections quite gelled or there was a lack of follow-up on either side. I accept that those potential new friendships simply were not meant to be.
It is said that our deepest, longest-lasting friendships are formed earlier on in life. For me this is true, as I remain in touch on a daily basis with friends I left behind a few years ago when leaving South Africa. Some of those individuals have since scattered to various corners of the world, but many of us still stay in touch, even if only to touch base now and again. Then there are also those special friends that I communicate with almost every day, from Bali to South Africa, to South America, and beyond. We are blessed these days to have the internet to be able to do this.
I also formed some online friendships during the height of Covid pandemic through various spiritual and metaphysical groups online, and I have been keeping in touch with some of these acquaintances in other parts of the world.
You Are Never Alone
I receive many calls from clients who are feeling terribly isolated and lonely. And ‘lonely’ does not automatically imply being alone. Even while we may be constantly surrounded by people, one can still feel extremely alone. Having lots of people around does not guarantee meaningful connection or a sense of belonging.
I always remind my clients that if they only consider how much spirit is constantly around us, they will never feel alone again. Tuning into these soul energies around us is a great comfort and can even be a life saver.
Our departed loved ones and our spirit guides are around us all the time, but especially present when we are going through a challenging or painful time. Whether we are aware of their presence, or not, they are there.
Through meditation and other spiritual practices, we can raise our vibration and make it easier for us to feel their presence, and even ‘hear’ them. All interdimensional communication is telepathic. We just need to tune in to a higher vibration to meet them halfway.
Spirit is in a different dimension. Their energy is very fast and ours are very slow. They need to slow their vibration down and we need to raise ours in order to meet in the middle and communicate.
Many years ago, a friend’s father passed. Her dad soon after came to me in a dream. He was giving me several messages he wanted me to relay to her, but I was having a very hard time understanding what he was saying. The messages were coming in too fast. To my shock and surprise her dad then became impatient with me! In fact, he was quite annoyed.