dating
Is It Worth Your Health And Happiness?
We are usually deep in conversation, accompanied by a lot of belly laughs, when I meet with my group of crochet girlfriends every other week. We meet around a large table, yarn in hand, to make lots of wonderful goodies to give away at Christmas, or whatever festive holiday is upon us.
Things turned serious at a recent gathering, when one of the gals in our group starting talking about her daughter, who recently separated from her husband. She said a few things about their situation and then looked up at me, but decided not to ask, as I was there for fun and not to be asked any psychic questions.
My friends know that when I’m at our crochet circle, it is about taking a break from my work and just having some fun with the girls! But it’s not always so easy.
She quickly tried changing the subject, but the other ladies started to talk about their own children. Some of the older gals even brought up their grandchildren who were recently divorced, or separated.
Many comments were made like, “Times are tough,” and, “These days things aren’t the same as they were when we were growing up,” and “Life is no longer as simple as it used to be back in the day,” and also, “Technology is ruining a lot of couples these days.”
The Answer To Your Question ‘Why’
We ask many questions about our lives. Why did he leave me? Why am I not manifesting? Why can’t I find the right job? Why does my mother hate me? Why did another psychic reader give me an answer different from yours?
There are so many shifts in the Universe, and many grey areas. When you look at your questions, many times it is generic and many times, after talking it out, the answer becomes clear. There are so many sifts and changes in every person’s life. Just because you thought a particular person, job, thing, incident was what you wanted or needed, it is not necessarily what Universe had planned for you.
Take a moment to think about things. With relationships, did you settle? Did you compromise just to hang onto someone and then realized that you weren’t happy, or that person was not changing as you had hoped? Compromise in life is the biggest obstacle in life. It holds so many back from reaching their highest good.
Just because you feel you are ‘soulmates’ does not mean you are meant to be with that person. Just because you know that it is the ‘perfect job’ for you, does not mean you are meant to have it. Just because you believe one psychic reader was right and the other was wrong, does not mean that it is true. Things shift, and life is fluid.
There are many people that hurt inside due to a loss, whether due to a breakup, death, unemployment, or any type of loss that you can imagine. Some say they won’t have anyone or anything else…they only want that specific person or thing. When you do this, you are limiting your life. You are wasting precious time over something that is not meant to be, and was never meant to be your permanent solution.
Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship
We’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?
Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.
Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever. There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong? I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger. We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential. We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist
I wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.
I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.
Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.
The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.
Slow And Steady Is The Best Path To Lasting Love
In today’s superficial world of online dating, hookup apps and sexual promiscuity, it’s has become a daunting challenge to find a suitable partner who is genuinely ready for long-term commitment and relationship monogamy.
Also, in the dating scene, people typically wear masks, especially during the initial introduction. Everyone wants to give a good first impression and rarely want to discuss their truth, or past traumas. Dates also like to exaggerate or omit information, to make themselves sound more important or successful than they really are.
A few weeks into a new relationship is usually when the cracks start to show and the truth begins to float to the surface. For example, he comes from a good family and appears to be successful on paper, but he is emotionally fragile, or verbally abusive and narcissistic in relationships. Or, he claims he is totally single when you first meet him, but there’s actually someone else in his life and they’re not breaking that up anytime soon, because they have money invested together or are married.
We too often get so caught up in the fuzzy feeling and fantasy of a person possibly being ‘the one,’ that we forget to question if they are in alignment with what we truly need to add value to our life. Always listen to what a date is telling you, without sugar-coating it for yourself.
Reclaiming Your Power When A Relationship Ends
One of the main reasons it is so painful to release someone when a relationship ends, is because we have usually invested so much of our time and energy in our connection with that person. In essence, what we are truly missing when we mourn a relationship are parts of our self that we have given away. What we are mourning is the loss of our hopes and dreams, not merely the presence of the person who is no longer in our life.
If this is something you are currently struggling with, I recommend the following ritual designed to help you reclaim your power after a relationship break-up, so that you can restore your inner wholeness and resume your search for true and enduring love.
Supplies
- 3 votive candles: 1 blue, 1 green, 1 yellow
- 1 aqua marine or clear quartz crystal
- rain or sage incense wand
- small mirror
- 3 copper pennies
- 2 tbsp of fresh or dried mint in a small bowl
- 2 tbsp sea salt