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Time Apart Is Healthy For Your Relationship
Have you noticed that your relationships with partner, friends and even family members are much better when you see them less often? There is real wisdom in the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
When we are around the same person for a very long time, they tend to eventually bore, frustrate, or annoy us. Time away is vital. We all need space to recharge our batteries and newly appreciate the people in our lives.
I know this is tried and true from having done may psychic readings over the years for people who found relief, and even rebirth, in their relationships after they had been away from their lovers, spouses, wives, husbands mothers, sisters, or friends. Not only did they ultimately appreciate their loved ones more, but they also got along much better with them.
There is on rare occurrences those who can tolerate being around each other 24/7 and get along wonderfully. But this rare.
Most of us need to take a break sometimes. If you want to enhance any relationship, taking a little time away (even just for the day) from each other can work wonders.
I know two people that have been married for a very long time, and it seems they are always happiest after hunting season. During the months of September and October this lady I read for is always so upbeat, full of energy and ideas, and brimming with creativity.
Thorns Are Only There To Protect The Rose
Each time we turn to unnecessary conflict, things turn into chaos. It stirs up the aura around each person involved. The ripples of anger and hurt affects everyone involved.
This doesn’t mean we can’t ever stand up for ourselves, or disagree. In fact, statistics prove that couples who never argue most often don’t last in their relationships.
A good storm now and then can clear up things and allow us opportunity to express the things we have been suppressing.
But often we hold it in for too long, and then it blows up. When this happens, the drama is often worse than it needed to be. We say things we later regret. We are even surprised by some of the things we say when we get this upset! Where did that come from?
Then, as time goes on, we want to make amends. Yet, those words caused a hurt that never really leaves. Sometimes an apology is no longer enough.
I know that it is hard to do, but it is mostly for the best not to stir the pot when it is already too late. The wisest way to handle issues is to bring them up early on. Talk and work them out before they blow up.
Love is like a rose. Roses are so beautiful, with their sweet smell, the velvet petals, brilliant colors, and heady scent. It overwhelms the senses.
Embrace Life’s Turbulence With The Right Attitude
With the many ups and downs we face in life, it is sometimes possible to feel euphoric one moment and utterly devastated the next. Yes, life is challenging at times. But Spirit says that our attitude makes all the difference.
Life’s emotional roller coaster is an inevitable part of the human experience. However, by choosing the right attitude, we can transform this journey into an opportunity for growth, learning, and profound spiritual awakening. If we choose the right attitude, it can soften the emotional roller coaster ride of life.
Our soul purpose requires that there be times of great happiness and deep sorrow, for it is through successes and hardships that we learn how to evolve spiritually.
But when we choose to trust the process and embrace our journey with the right attitude, it becomes much easier to deal with the stressful issues and demands of everyday life.
Our attitude toward life’s ups and downs plays a pivotal role in shaping our experiences. By adopting the right attitude, we can greatly reduce the emotional turbulence that accompanies life’s challenges. It’s like putting a cushion in the seat of a roller coaster – it doesn’t eliminate the dips and drops, but it does make the ride more bearable!
How To Be More Present In Your Life
We often hear the advice that ‘being present’ is an important spiritual practice to master on our journey through life. Being present with ourselves and in the moment. I like to think of it as being with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. This is certainly true, but what exactly does it mean? And with all the busyness of life and keeping up with our daily responsibilities, how do you become more present in your life?
Firstly, cultivating ‘presence’ requires time management and effective planning. It is important to organise the responsibilities of our lives in a manageable way. Otherwise, we find ourselves in a constant state of worry and stress, having to manage daily demands ‘on the fly’. And this is a sure way to lose our presence.
Planning ahead may seem like the opposite of being ‘in the moment’, but it is actually essential. When we are busy making plans for the coming week, thinking about what we need to prepare for and making decisions about how to organise our time and spend our energy, we don’t think much about the ‘present moment.’ But this is something we need to do in order to then be more present in our daily lives. It is key to cultivating presence.
Life Lesson From A Resilient Robin
A few days after I saw a robin attempting to build a nest on a neighbor’s balcony in my apartment building, I spotted another robin with a chest covered in mud. I was thrilled, as I knew this meant a little miracle of life was going to happen. And, it did. Three days later, she laid her clutch of tiny blue eggs in a nest built in a perennial shrub, next to the complex entry way where residents come and go all day.
Her strategy for building the nest in such a busy location became apparent two days after she had laid her eggs. A pack of savage crows descended on the nest, tragically cutting her clutch in half. Unlike the other robins, she had built her nest here so that she could potentially depend on human activity for added protection. Sadly, her plan failed.
Crows are one of the most intelligent bird species on the planet. They know and remember their potential enemies and prey. She may have cleverly built her nest here, hoping to avoid them because there are constantly humans around, but keeping crows away can be a real challenge, because of their intelligence and their adaptability. Things that scare them off at first, soon does not bother them anymore.
The crows were however the least of the strategic robin’s problems. After the crow rampage, the landscaping crew came through the property, using a weed whacker on the shrub where her nest was located. I later found her outside. Assuming she was traumatized and stress-foraging, I felt really sad for her. But she stared at me questioningly, then flew into a tree, while I feebly tried to console her. “All your efforts have been in vain,” I sadly thought while looking at her.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Bittersweet Is The Fall
Bittersweet is the fall in Maine. Literally. We have a vine here known as the ‘asiatic bittersweet’ (celastrus orbiculatus) that produces attractive red berries. They are yellow at first, but as they mature the outer shell cracks open to expose a magnificent crimson berry with a yellow coat.
Crafters here in New England traditionally use this vine to make holiday wreaths and decorate their homes. It also adorns the roads of Maine with the combination of fall leaves and green of pine trees.
But the bittersweet vine does its name justice in both sweet beauty and bitterness, life and death, because it is not only adored for its versatility as autumn décor this time of year, but it is also widespread, severely invasive and destructive. It suffocatingly twines high up around trees and sprawls over lower plants and vegetation.
It is not a native plant to the region and was originally brought here as an ornamental plant. As the vine begins to spread and grow to the top of trees it becomes the vine of death for the tree as it covers it completely. A bitter vine.
The fall is indeed a bittersweet time of the year. The natural cycle of life and death. The bittersweet time of year is the time to harvest food for the long winter ahead. Get our homes ready for the snow, darkness, and ice of winter.
In Maine the old timers say ‘button up the house’ for winter. The sweet part is people are thinking of the holidays ahead and gatherings with family and friends. There are traditional recipes. Who will make the best pie? Everyone has a favorite. Whose gravy is the most delicious? It’s a time of gratitude for everything that is good in life.