choices
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Are We There Yet?
Are we there yet? It’s okay to ask. The answer, however, should always be no. If we become preoccupied with destination, we lose sight of the joy and purpose of the journey in the first place. When we honor the journey, we are able to keep on the path of forward motion.
Life itself is the journey. We learn the hard lessons, and finally understand that it’s a never-ending process. Often things occur in the guise of mistakes, failures, misunderstandings, hurts. But in truth, not learning from these events is the only failure. And if you don’t learn it the first time, it is highly likely the lesson will repeat itself, over and over again, until you actually do learn it.
When our behavior and actions change, we convert what we have learned into wisdom. For some people the process is a lifelong quest, while others utilize what they have learned and it moves them along quickly. Some people need to go deeper within themselves to make progress.
It is always good to ask if we are there yet. Especially at the beginning of every journey, or when the learned lessons tell us there is more work to be done – inner work to get to the very core of our being. For some people inner work can be very frightening, as many of us deeply suppress the things that we don’t want to deal with. But to complete the journey we must peel away the layers, like peeling an onion.
Small Gestures Of Kindness In A Time Of Cruelty
People are feeling anxious and uncertain with what has been happening in the world in recent months. Many are fearful and stressed, and unsure how to act appropriately in these strange times. Some act out in destructive or dramatic ways, taking their frustration out on others.
It is common knowledge that the digital age and social media has spawned a generation of computer warriors and online bullies who express their insecurities and fears, in often extremely mean and cruel ways, from the comfort of their living rooms and basements. This savage lack of empathy and decorum has seemingly now spilt over into our streets and neighborhoods too, in the midst of a global pandemic.
It is easier for many to be critical and judgmental, to complain and argue, instead of facing facts, dealing with the truth and seeking lasting solutions. Often not knowing the entire story, many people choose to see only see one side of things, while telling others off for disagreeing with their limited point of view. The computer has unfortunately given some people a platform to spread strife and hatred, instead of love, hope and kindness.
I pray that more people will strive to seek the truth and learn to look for the good and kind in others. Showing tolerance, patience and kindness is always the better, more open approach. And always remember that if someone attacks you directly, then it often means they are somehow struggling or hurting. It usually serves no real purpose to attack them back.
Soulmate Love Requires Patience, Hope and Perseverance
Should I wait for him? This is a question I have been asked many times in my work. Especially when there is a deep, strong soul-to-soul love, with a sense of eternity and meaning to it, this question naturally arises when such partners are parted.
The answer, I find, is within. It is not a matter of should or shouldn’t, good or bad, right or wrong, nor even a matter of the outcome. It is a matter of heart. And it is a very individual choice.
An intuitive reading can support, but not substitute the process of discovering such a personal choice. As an empathic intuitive, for example, I can offer you a description of the energy I feel around your relationship situation, to provide you with information that may help you discern. I can also support you in trusting your own heart, and then in moving forward accordingly.
But the ultimate answer always lays within your own love and desires. From my experience of love in separation, I have learned that the path of patience, if chosen, will call for a profound degree of it, along with several stepping stones of spiritual qualities and concepts to uphold it.
Love between souls is a spiritual exchange. It steps back and views the beloved through the lens of eternity. It sees the individual spirit soul – the birthless, deathless being within – who is on an evolutionary journey, passing through human experience in this world.
How To Be A Good Friend
I just read a blog written by a spiritual person feeling angry and lonely. She had reached out to a trusted friend, but the friend only wanted to talk about her own problems. And when she did pay some attention to her plight, the best the friend could offer was to be judgmental and unsympathetic. The author then also reached out for support on a social media group for spiritually aware people. Again, all of the members did the same thing her friend did: they judged!
The woman was having problems with her abusive neighbor and many people on the forum were giving advice for her to leave. They told her to move, find a better place to live, relocate. “Moving is 100% your choice,” one person commented. The first thing I thought was no, it isn’t. This particular woman, for example, had bought the house and had put a lot of money into renovating the house. She would need to sell, at a time when not many things are selling, and possibly suffer a significant financial loss.
Some even told her to get more exercise, so that she can relax and focus on other things. They told her she was responsible for her own choice of reactions and feelings in the situation. The only insensitive, stereotypical thing they didn’t say was to take a breath and calm down. Don’t you just hate it when someone says that? It does everything, but calm you down!
The people responding, in their judgment, needed to feel superior. It was about them, not her. Her responses were defensive, understandably. I felt by her response, they made her feel more lonely. Poor woman.
Finding Peace And Strength In Trying Times
The past few months has been a very trying time for all of us. It is easy to get worked up over where we are right now, and become anxious about the future.
At the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, a wave of fear and worry crashed over us. We were wondering if there would be ‘enough.’ Enough food, enough hand sanitizer and disinfectant, enough hospital beds, enough money to pay the bills, and even enough toilet paper! No longer were we looking to ‘keep up with the Joneses.’ Instead we were looking to make sure our households were safe and just had the basics.
During this time, I was reminded of all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books I read as a young girl. She also lived in a time when they were not sure if they would have the necessities to live out a harsh winter. Here I was now, all these yea healthy and protected. Everyday items universe tie into all of this you may ask? Many have wondered if they were on the right path with decisions being made during this crucial time. Worrying if work will be there for you we normally would take for granted suddenly took on a new significance.
These fallout of the coronavirus pandemic, and subsequent lockdowns all over the world, have also caused many of us to wonder if we were on the right path with decisions being made during this crucial time. Many have been worrying about our jobs and businesses, and whether or not we will be able to pay our bills.