loved ones
The Life Calling Of The Death Doula
The first time I heard of a doula, I had no idea what it meant. I soon discovered that it is a person trained to provide guidance, emotional support, and physical comfort to a mother before, during, and after childbirth.
But little did I know at the time that a doula can also be someone who is of service to dying. So, a doula may assist us coming into the physical world, as well as leave the physical world. What a wonderful profession to be called to assist in the miracles of birth and death.
As a psychic medium, talking to loved ones who have crossed over, I have come to understand that some people definitely prefer to be alone at the time of death. My own dad was such a person. He made it clear to us this was his dying wish.
Several people kept vigil at his bedside for three weeks, but the moment we all were away to change clothes or eat, was his opportunity to ‘check out.’ As in life so be it in death, my dad was a very private person.
His hospice room was right across from the elevator. When my mother and I stepped off the elevator, I heard my dad take his last breath and I sensed and felt his spirit exit the building. But I also know he was not ‘alone,’ because his loved ones, guides and angels came to greet him.
So, how does an end-of-life doula help with this process? A doula is there to help the family as much as the person passing. It is my belief that it is a deep honor to be present at a birth or a death. I have had the privilege to be present at all three of my granddaughter’s births. I have also been present at several deaths.
Both are times when emotions are running very high. At a birth everyone is anxious until they hear baby’s first cry. They are on edge waiting to hear baby and mother are both fine. A doula can help explain what is going on and answer questions about the birth process.
We Choose How We Wish To Cross Over
Death and crossing over is a unique process for each individual. At the time of passing, the soul may leave the body in a variety of ways. Sometimes the soul will even leave before the body fully ‘shuts down,’ eager to transition to the bliss, peace and harmony that awaits on the other side. And sometimes the human ego is not ready to embrace the transition and resists the departure. When we do not want to leave our physical body, we cause ourselves more anxiety and frustration and simply make it harder for our soul to pass into spirit. But there is no reason to resist or fear our passing. I know this for personal experience.
Some of us will also choose to pass quietly into spirit, when our loved ones are not around. My husband chose to pass this way, as I was not in the room when he secretly went. He wanted to spare me the trauma of that decisive moment and did not want me to suffer his loss any more than I needed to.
So, he went quietly to God, and I know that he is in the most beautiful place now that one could ever imagine. I know this because I have seen it myself in a near-death experience, but it wasn’t my time to go back then, and therefore I chose to come back.
But what I saw, I will never forget. Imagine a perfectly beautiful spring day, the sun shining so warmly on the most beautiful flowers that you have ever seen. We also return to spirit in a younger state, with no more aches and pains, and we always return home at the age we feel the best. Seeing my departed loved ones again was so amazing and surreal, but as much as I wanted to stay with them, I knew I had to come back to my loved ones here.
The Special Magic Of Autumn
I’ve often wondered if in a former lifetime I might have had a birthday in the fall? More specifically, I sense it must have been in the month of September, because I typically experience increased awareness and great change during this month.
Being a Gemini, born in June, this makes absolutely no sense, but I don’t always pay attention to what makes sense. I rather go with what feels right.
I feel a special magic in the air in the fall that I do not experience in any other season. In the autumn the world of the living seems to move closer to the afterlife and our deceased loved ones.
Traditionally All Hallows’ Eve on October 31st is believed to be time when the veil between the two worlds is most thin and we can more easily connect with our departed loved ones on the Other Side.
In the Northern Hemisphere September is the time of year when Mother Nature is shedding her leaves as the cooler air moves. Might this also be a time for us to let go of the aspects of our lives that no longer serve us? And could it be that our deceased loved ones in Heaven support and help to facilitate this need for us to surrender and let go?
The energy of September is an in-between state of transition that will ultimately spark us into new beginnings. But sometimes we need a little bit of extra magic, as it takes much courage to let go of the old and familiar to step onto a new path.
Our family and friends in Heaven want to see us progress and grow while in the Earth realm. Our loved ones who have crossed over to the Other Side can see forward and backward in time. They have the ability to open doors for us who are still in this life.
When Spirit Comes To Say Goodbye
Many people assume that their loved ones will say goodbye to them before they leave this earth plane. I beg to differ. In my experience this is not always the case. I know this without a doubt from personal experience.
In 2010, for example, my favorite sister became very ill. She was taken to the emergency room with kidney and liver failure in early August. She was admitted on a Monday, and by the Wednesday around dinner time, I received a phone call from her husband telling me that she had passed away.
Seconds after receiving this awful news, as I turned to my left, I saw her sitting next to me. Her apparition was looking at me, as if to say, “Are you okay? How are you taking this?”
Indeed, she appeared to be more concerned for me than herself. After all, where she was going now, she wasn’t going to have any more health problems or human suffering. Once her spirit saw that I had regained my composure, she left my side and continued her spiritual journey to Heaven.
My dearest sister had merely come to say goodbye, until we meet again. Rather than despair about her passing, I was suddenly relieved her soul was heading to God’s Holy Kingdom. There is after all no finer a place in the entire Universe!
In the summer of 2012, my other sister informed me that she was having difficulty breathing and was seeking medical advice about it. Sadly, at the same time, my mother was also having medical issues. Soon after, my phone rang very early one morning. My heart raced as I ran to answer the call, fearing that my mom had taken ill.
Instead, a man’s voice was saying, “Where is your mother? I need to speak to her urgently!”
Grandma’s Love Was The Best
I remember what Grandma was wearing when she passed away. I also recall exactly what she said and everything else that happened that day, right down to the violets I picked in the backyard to place in her hand. She was wearing an oversized Winnie the Pooh T-shirt that could have been a night dress, I’m not sure. She had her red robe on and black slippers lined with greyish fluff.
She was told she was being taken to the nursing home, but it was actually hospice she would be going to. She could no longer walk and had fallen, and no one was able to pick her up. Not even myself. I wish I could, but I just was not able to.
I sensed she wasn’t to going be with us very much, and I was very upset about it. But constantly having to give her blood transfusions and her being in so much pain, it was the right decision at the time. I have made peace with that now.
Settling her into the hospice, Grandma was adamant the bed be taken out, as it was unbearably uncomfortable. She kept saying, “I just want to go home and die. This is no way to live. I’m ready to go.” She also told me, if I ever needed her after she had gone, all I would have to do is call her name, and she would be there for me. Grandma kept her promise to me. To this day I still feel her around me all the time, especially when I think of her and call her name.
I think the worst thing I ever experienced in my entire life was walking into that hospice room after she had passed and seeing her shell of a body. She was no longer there, obviously, but she was still around. I felt she was somewhere in the room looking at us and saying her goodbyes.
Pain had made her very bitter towards the end of her life. She wasn’t herself anymore because she was on so many different strong medications and invasive treatments. I sensed that she longed to be with her departed husband and her dear mother who passed when she was just a young girl. Her mom was also a psychic and apparently really good with things like Numerology and dreaming lucky numbers. I loved hearing all those stories.
The Who’s Who Of The Spirit Realm
Communicating and working with Spirit can become confusing when you need to discern who exactly it is that you are engaging with. Terms like Spirit Guides, Ascended Masters, Angels, Ancestors, among other, are often used in this context, but the distinction between these entities is not always made clear. It can be very confusing. For this reason, I have compiled a quick guide to the ‘who’s who’ of the spirit realm, and how to best work with each group of spirit energies.
Angels
Angelic beings are pure Love and Light. Angels have never experienced a human incarnation. They serve as our guides and protectors. Angels are our constant guides, steering us on our journey through life and helping us to achieve our dreams and goals.
They gently nudge us forward along our life path and deliver to us unconditional love from the Divine, but only if we ask for their support.They never overstep the Law of Free Will, unless it is a life-threatening situation that demands divine intervention.
You know you are in contact with an Angel if you feel warm ‘tingles,’ and a sense of unconditional love, inner peace and well-being.
Ascended Masters
Unlike Angels, the Ascended Masters are loving teachers. They are guides who have experienced human life on Earth. These beings have achieved self-actualization, enlightenment, or an ascended state of being. They have come into full alignment with their Higher Self.
The Eternal Love Of A Mother
The nurturing energy of a mother is usually the emotional glue that keeps many families together. Whether it is their kindness, generosity, unconditional love or simply their joy and laughter, the mother-figures in our lives are often fundamental in helping us grow, expand, love and learn.
Many mothers must transcend what is possible to achieve the near impossible on an ongoing basis. Regardless of their circumstances, the impact of our mothers is deep and everlasting.
Perhaps it was your mother’s triumph over adversity that instilled a deep-rooted sense of perseverance in you. Perhaps it was by observing your grandmother’s social interactions that you learned how to function well in your community. There are many examples of how the mother-figures in our lives have nurtured and inspired us.
A mother’s unconditional love for her children is the most beautiful bond of love we may ever know. For this most of us should be eternally grateful. We are indeed privileged to have felt such loving care and protection.
For those of us who have lost our mothers, it is comforting to know that they continue to guide, guard and protect us in spirit, as we make our way through this life on Earth. Regardless of the turmoil we might endure, most of our mothers always come through with an amazing amount of love and care, both in this life and the next.
Our mothers can often also do more for us from the spirit realm, than they might have been able to do for us while they were here in this life. It is comforting to know that our mothers and grandmothers, including the mother-figures and nurturers in our extended family, are with us always, combining their earthly experience and newfound wisdom in spirit to impart to us even more than we could imagine while they were on the earth plane. Continue reading