News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

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From Victim To Survivor To Soul Evolution

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comThe process of healing begins with psychological healing, which can then be carried forward to become transformational and contribute to your soul evolution. The original traumatic event or circumstances are experienced as a wound, as it should be. The pain of the occurrence is meant to be a lesson.

To shut this down by being stoic, or to minimize what happened to you, or your family, or your race, or to sugarcoat the experience with so called ‘positive thinking’ are the actions of a victim in denial. To feel the pain, to go through it and come out the other side is the journey of a warrior. This is where you start.

You set up this lesson before you ever incarnated. As a soul, working with your sacred group, and with guidance, you pre-determined these circumstances to create an amazing opportunity to forward your evolution as a soul. Accept what happened, which means don’t fight it, don’t deny it, go through the experience, feel it. Let it affect you, shape you, change you, challenge you.

Victim Stage

If you have a legal battle ahead of you for something such as rape, you will have to stay in victim (or victim survivor) mode as that is what the legal system demands. In fact, you will have to emphasize damage done to you in order to win your case. Even when one must call the police to come to a situation, law enforcement officers counsel people to say, for example, “I think I saw a gun.” This is done in order to get the police out in a timely manner and get it on record. Law enforcement is so overwhelmed that they have to prioritize which calls to respond to. Sadly the same is true for the courts. Emphasizing the danger you are in, or the harm you suffered, is a necessary strategy for legal battles, however, it is no way to continue living your life once the battle is done.

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Learning To Say Yes To Yourself

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.

But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourselfSelf-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.

Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.

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Addicted To ‘Getting It’

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comOne way to improve yourself, or change your life, is to gain understanding either through a teacher, a therapist, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, further study or research, and so on. One can then use your newly acquired understanding to implement change, which will also change your energy, because you implemented change you understood.

However, many people gain new understanding, but remain stuck in their inaction, their fear of taking action, of making different choices. Think about how many people you know who understand or ‘know’ how to eat healthily, how to exercise correctly, or to not jump into bed with just anyone. Then think about how many of those people put their understanding into actual action in their lives. You see my point?

Some also use understanding to get stuck. Everything has a double edge, light and dark, Yin and Yang. The art of living is a moving form of balance. Some people demand of themselves, others, even of Spirit, to be ‘given’ understanding, before they will take action (instead of working to gain that understanding for themselves). As if being ‘given understanding’ will somehow be a kind of protection, or guarantee of success.

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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Friendship And The Empath

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFriends are a wonderful addition to our lives. In some cases they even take the place of family of origin, and become our chosen family. A healthy friendship is a balanced one – give and take, trust, loyalty, acceptance and truth delivered with compassion. Unfortunately, for the empath, friendship can also be treacherous territory, sometimes rife with debbie downers, energy thieves, and psychic vampires.

There are different levels of friendship, from casual social friendships to those we call ‘best friends.’ These best friends are ones with whom we feel safe sharing our deepest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams.

Social media has made it much easier in recent years to connect with friends. With a click of the keyboard a new friend can be made or an old acquaintance rekindled. Social media sites have even recognized the importance of providing the choice of putting people into the appropriate category, such as people from work or close friends. People can be also unfriended, blocked or reported if they are out of bounds, and what is seen publicly by our friends can be limited.

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Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFamily dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.

For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.

It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.

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Victims And True Feelings

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comWhat is the difference between being a victim and feeling like a victim? Well, the first is identifying as a victim and making decisions from that base as a way of life. The other is going into the wounds of whatever happened to them, where they were a victim, and feeling those feelings, exploring them, processing them and allowing them to be released, as a part of the journey of healing.

Healing is waking up, coming out of denial. You finally admit you were hurt, abused, abandoned, raped, lied to, robbed, beaten up and that yes, it hurt. Yes, there was terrible fear and a loss of self, a loss of faith, depression, anxiety, and so much more. This stage is shocking, and it hurts. Your ego is demolished as you finally cave into the realizations and emotions that emerge as you face the truth about what happened to you, instead of minimizing it, explaining it away, or muscling through it.

Grieving, Raging And Learning

You will inevitably need to move through the grief cycle in order to find hope and healing. This process can take two years and longer. Many people will not understand that you are grieving, since you haven’t lost anyone to death. This process is not linear. It twists and turns through loops that overlap, moves forward, and then falls back again. Continue reading

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