break-up
Communication Is Key To A Healthy Relationship
The one thing we all want in life is to really be seen and heard. We also have the right to our own opinion and to not be judged for the way we think or feel. When we become good communicators, our interactions with others become so much easier and more constructive.
A common reason why many relationships end is because a couple just don’t seem to be able to communicate their thoughts and feelings clearly to each other. Yes, sometimes it really is that simple.
But expressing your intent clearly, so others understand without a doubt what is being said, is not easy when you feel the person you are trying to talk to is only ‘half listening’ to you.
When giving a psychic medium reading one of the biggest complaints about a relationship issue that I often hear is that my client’s partner “never listens” to them. When they try to talk about important things, the other person changes the subject or remains distracted. They don’t care enough about the other persons feelings to even discuss the topic.
Not only being able to communicate clearly but also being a good listener is the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling, and lasting relationship. When we really listen to what other people are saying, it shows respect and caring for the person or situation being discussed. When people feel they are heard, it encourages them to open up and share their feelings and opinions.
When you would like to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone, your facial expressions and posture say a lot before you even begin to speak. When you sit down to discuss any issue with your arms crossed, for example, it does not convey “I’m open to what you have to say.” When you fidget or keep looking at your phone, it sends the message you can’t wait to talk, or the phone is more important than the conversation. When you try to make eye contact it translates as caring enough to pay attention. When you are speaking to anyone, and they do the old eye roll that sends a clear direct message of how they feel.
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.
Sun Salutation For Opening Your Heart Chakra
Many people have an energy blockage or imbalance with their heart chakra, because this is where we hold our emotional wounds.
The heart chakra is where we hold on to every insult or criticism from our childhood. The unbalanced heart chakra can store the energy of every rejection, anxious moment, humiliation, and fear from our teen years, as well as every break-up and every disappointment in our lifetime.
Heartbreak is a very real phenomenon. For example, sometimes when the life partner of an elderly person passes away, they will also pass from a heart attack soon after. It is tragic evidence of a disconnection of the life-long energy bond between two hearts.
Blockage in the heart chakra can also cause various health problems, including heart palpitations, irregular heartbeat, breathing problems, and problems with the thyroid, back, neck and shoulders.
The sun salutation is a choreographed set of yoga exercises that can be used to open the heart chakra and move energy throughout the entire body. Lifting your heart chakra pulls energy into the center.
Stand with your feet roughly one foot part, feet parallel. Tighten your buttocks and push your pelvis forward. Contract your abdominal muscles.
Reach your arms out to the side and slowly move them upward, as if you re scooping energy upward. Keep the arms perfectly straight, with elbows locked.
Bring your hands over your head into a prayer position, with the arms as straight as you can get them. Visualize that energy you scooped up pulsing between your hands. Then, keeping the hands connected in prayer, bring your hands down to your heart and feel that energy you ‘captured’ filling your heart chakra. Do this over and over as many times as you want.
Free Your Soul From Toxic Negativity
It is usually advisable to get over it and move on. When we continue to vent about people or things that annoy or frustrate us, or when we cannot forgive someone who has wronged us, and we go on, and on, and on about it, we are affirming the negative and attracting more of the same energy into our life.
Revenge or vitriol does absolutely no harm to another person, only to the person pursuing it. Anger or hatred does not affect the other person, only the person sending it out. What comes from your own spirit, your thoughts, words, actions, is what you will create in your own life. You are hurting or changing no one with your negative feelings other than yourself.
That person who hurt you has moved on with their life. In fact, they might even be living their best life, while you are still stuck and stagnant in the pain and misery of the past. It only becomes baggage that carries forward into the now, and into the future.
I once had a client who obsessively held onto anger, hatred, spite, and revenge towards her ex for over a decade. She could not figure out why every new relationship and project in her life since then failed miserably, usually with almost the same endings.
Finally, after years of struggling to bring her different insights, she was able to look at the person who hurt her, release his memory with loving, forgiving energy, and let the whole thing go. Then, as I had predicted, the next person who came into her life was everything she had always wanted in a partner!
In fact, her new beloved was far better than anything she ever had with Mr. Most Hated, before it went wrong, and had she continued on her path of anger and toxic baggage carrying, this new love miracle would most likely never have happened.
When Relationships Are Not Meant To Be
I have in recent months become particularly aware how many people are increasingly reminiscing about failed past relationships. In some cases, these are relationships that go back many years. Some folks even go as far as stalking their ex-partners on social media!
I believe it is mainly due to the unusual circumstances caused by the pandemic over the past two years, which prevented the possibility of meeting a new people, or going out on dates. It also brought many of us intense life lessons regarding love, connection, belonging, and loneliness.
I see these issues coming up in many readings nowadays and it often doesn´t sit too well with some of my clients, who tend to feel that their ‘love luck is down,’ or that that the universe is somehow ‘punishing’ them. In extreme cases, folks even believe a hex or curse may have been placed on them.
I also find many people are talking about ´what ifs.’ If only they had done things differently, how things might have turned out differently. But perhaps, if things were meant to have worked out differently, it would have? Again, this would fall in line with certain life lessons we came to this world to experience. I believe we have chosen to incarnate into this world at a time when romantic and social relationships often tend to be more fleeting and distant, especially because of digital technology and our rushed modern way of living.
Interestingly, I am also seeing lately more divorcées remarrying their former spouse after spending many years apart, and despite having lived a new life with someone else in the interim. This often drives their children insane after all the heartbreak, drama and grief the divorce had unnecessarily caused the family. Again, a hard lesson, but a life lesson nevertheless for all concerned.
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’