break-up
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
Soulmate Love Requires Patience, Hope and Perseverance
Should I wait for him? This is a question I have been asked many times in my work. Especially when there is a deep, strong soul-to-soul love, with a sense of eternity and meaning to it, this question naturally arises when such partners are parted.
The answer, I find, is within. It is not a matter of should or shouldn’t, good or bad, right or wrong, nor even a matter of the outcome. It is a matter of heart. And it is a very individual choice.
An intuitive reading can support, but not substitute the process of discovering such a personal choice. As an empathic intuitive, for example, I can offer you a description of the energy I feel around your relationship situation, to provide you with information that may help you discern. I can also support you in trusting your own heart, and then in moving forward accordingly.
But the ultimate answer always lays within your own love and desires. From my experience of love in separation, I have learned that the path of patience, if chosen, will call for a profound degree of it, along with several stepping stones of spiritual qualities and concepts to uphold it.
Love between souls is a spiritual exchange. It steps back and views the beloved through the lens of eternity. It sees the individual spirit soul – the birthless, deathless being within – who is on an evolutionary journey, passing through human experience in this world.
The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’
If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.
I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’
The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!
Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.
For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.
The Myths Of Mercury Retrograde
As a practicing psychic, I have on many occasions spoken to clients who were concerned about the planet Mercury going retrograde. They typically fear that this recurring planetary event might wreak havoc in their lives. While astrologers agree that it can at times be a more challenging time, many of the fears about retrogrades are often unfounded, and based on myth and misinformation. Its potential effect on our daily lives can actually be highly positive and beneficial.
Reputable astrologers quite rightly point out that by truly understanding Mercury Retrograde and how to manage its influence in our life, we can actually turn it into a positive experience, rather than a negative one. For my part, should you have been worried about the Mercury Retrograde in the past, I hope to ease at least some of your concerns here, as to what role this phenomenon can, and cannot play in your daily life.
The Spinning Backwards Myth
The most prevalent myth about Mercury Retrograde is that the planet is ‘spinning backwards’ at this time. The truth of the matter, as any astronomer would tell you, is that Mercury is not actually moving backwards during a retrograde. It only appears to be receding.
The planet Mercury is closer to the Sun than any other planet and therefore circles around it in as little 88 days. The Earth, on the other hand, takes much longer, i.e. a whole year to complete this trip. During a retrograde, Mercury appears to slow down, while Earth seems to move at a faster rate. This creates an optical illusion in the heavens which makes it seem that Mercury is spinning backwards in its orbit. However, Mercury is merely moving more slowly around the Sun, compared to planet Earth.
One can liken this to Mercury being a race car on the inside track, while Earth is on the outside of the track and overtaking Mercury. While doing so, as Earth appears to go faster, it would seem that the Mercury is slowing down or, in fact, going backwards, even though this is not the case.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.