self-realization
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
The Simple Secret To Building Real Confidence
Building your confidence can feel vague or out of reach, like something you’re supposed to just know how to do, but often we don’t.
The typical advice is to do affirmations, spoken aloud or posted around your home, along with journaling and gratitude practices.
While these practices can help us cultivate things like intuitive awareness, inner peace or emotional balance, they aren’t always the most effective confidence builders.
There is one essential step we must take if we want to build genuine, lasting confidence. That step is action.
It’s easy to wait for confidence to arrive like a bolt of lightning, expecting it to empower us and prepare us to finally walk the empowered path of our dreams.
But the reality is that confidence doesn’t simply appear before the journey begins. It actually grows as we move forward.
Taking action can feel intimidating. You may not feel ready. You might believe you need more time, more clarity, or more skills. But readiness doesn’t magically arrive.
Change begins when we choose to take action, even if it’s imperfect. Manifestation requires more than thought and feeling. It calls for aligned, inspired action.
Be The Light That Darkness Cannot Touch
The nightmare continues every day. The very thing we fear the most has come to look us right in the face, staring in our eyes. This little imp taps us on the shoulder, reminding us of all the stupid things we did, all the hurtful things, how we messed up, time after time.
We messed up time again, no one agrees with us, we are reminded that “they” are so much smarter, did things exactly right every time.
We are at a turning point. We can give up, turn, run for the hills to hide, but still there is the demon of fear lingering around the deep recesses of our mind.
Surely this little devil of fear tells us we can see how we don’t deserve to reach our dreams, or accomplish our goals.
Stand back! Truly look at everything from all sides. Become like an eagle, or an owl, or a hawk, with eyes that see far beyond the surface where the heart lies.
Try to be kind and loving. Put your mind in the thoughts of being kind, being positive, no matter how much doing so lays open our heart for others to stomp on, even though many others will think you have lost your mind.
When we try with all our hearts to do something toward our dream, with love, with pure knowledge, we are listening to spirit. Then we gain strength, we gain courage, we pass over the top of the highest mountain to reach the other side. Let this outlook enlighten your heart, mind and soul toward a new attitude, for a new beginning.
False Education Appearing Real (F.E.A.R)
I love the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Education Appearing Real) since we all have people, circumstances, phobias and so forth, that can put us into that space.
Fear is an instance of emotion that is triggered by the awareness, or anticipation of danger. It can also become a state of being. Excluding clinical fears, needing professional help, there are many fears we simply impose upon ourselves as a result of life experiences.
One of my fears is acrophobia, the fear of heights. When I get within five feet from the edge of a rooftop, I begin to shake.
Climbing 30 foot ladders has me nervous and when I hiked to the pinnacle of the mountain of Macchu Picchu in 2004, I could not take those last six nervous steps onto the plateau pinnacle rock. This was partly being due to a few other tourists already sharing the rock… and I am a little “accident prone.”
Although I was invited by my partner and the guide, I leaned against the rock debating my fear, shaking a little at the prospect and wishing that I could take those final steps, as I might regret it after I hiked down. Part of me did regret not taking those last steps when we got back to the base.
Yet, a bigger part of me knew I had to acknowledge the feelings in the moment, and since I am not a regular exerciser, I already had accomplished something tremendous by taking the hike to the top and back down the back side of the mountain. On the way I enjoyed the magnificent views and spiritual energy for several hours. Continue reading
What Makes A Spiritual Group Truly Work
We are all different. Each person is a piece of the puzzle that creates a group. All people are raised different. People may have different spiritual beliefs, different educational backgrounds, jobs, nationalities.
Yet, if the common goal is the same, there is no reason why we cannot achieve much more in our world. Some of us simply need to find a way to respect diversity.
Spiritual groups tend to be the especially challenging when it comes to diversity. Too often spiritually-minded people are expected to always agree with everyone about everything, in order to promote goodwill among group members and keep the peace.
But in any group people have to learn how to agree to disagree. It’s always okay to have your own opinion and express how you feel. One must just remember that not all of the group may agree with your thoughts.
In groups people all choose different roles, and the roles may change over time. Most groups have that one person that assumes the role of leader. The leader of the group is often selected by the majority. The leadership role usually fits the personality and consciousness of that individual, as do the other roles in the group.
The leader is usually a person that is able to communicate well with team members and good at listening to people. The ‘worker bees’ are usually good at taking direction and accomplishing the task at hand. Somewhere in the middle are the people that come up with ideas and can present them to the group, and help the suggestions come to fruition.
When Life Gets Hectic Find Your Way Back To Source
Whether it manifests in your body, feelings, or spiritual well-being, stress can really knock you off balance. Many of us are all too familiar with this. It sneaks in slowly, or rushes in like a storm. Suddenly, you’re exhausted, scattered, anxious, or just not feeling like yourself.
When this happens, it’s as if your inner compass has been thrown off. You forget what it feels like to be centered, calm, and connected. Fortunately, there’s a beautiful and simple way back to your “true north”: meditation.
Meditation is one of those practices that has stood the test of time for a reason. It doesn’t just help us handle stress better. It helps raise our energy and bring us back into balance.
And beyond that, it can offer us something truly magical: a direct experience of our connection to the unified field of intelligence. Some people call it the void. Others call it the Source, Spirit, or simply Presence. No matter what you call it, it’s that vast, peaceful space that holds everything together, and we’re already a part of it.
I’ve personally felt the difference meditation makes in my life. But I’ll be honest: these past few weeks have been a whirlwind. So much has been going on, and in the chaos, I missed my daily meditations. And wow, did I feel it.
When I don’t take the time to realign, everything feels just a little harder. Meditation helps me feel whole. It’s like a reset button for my body, mind, and spirit. Especially with the kind of energy work and spiritual focus I need in my daily life, I rely on it to keep me grounded and in tune.
A Fabulous Life Beyond Limiting Beliefs
Many people go through life without ever questioning, let alone challenging, the limiting beliefs they were taught since childhood. They blindly follow whatever their family, community, or culture prescribe, often without realizing it.
Some of these limiting beliefs have been passed down through generations, remaining unchanged for thousands of years. If we never stop to examine these inherited mindsets, we remain trapped in limited thinking – always confined within the box.
I often find people are stuck in the emotional patterns and thought habits of their parents or grandparents.
For example, those whose families lived through the Great Depression, or who endured scarcity of food, heat, or other basic necessities, may feel compelled to save everything.
What if I need it someday? I paid so much for it, and it’s still perfectly good to keep. What if… what if…
A good example here where I live in the state of Maine is when an old Northeaster storm is supposed to come, bringing in double digit inches of snow.
Some folks then panic and rush to the nearest grocery store and stock up on two or three of the same items, because what if I can’t get out again for two weeks? Which, as a matter of fact, has never happen in my lifetime! Realistically you may only be marooned a day or two at the most in most parts of Maine.