self-realization
Letting Go Of Toxic Love
I have been reading for many years for a lady who is one of my dearest clients. I just love her to pieces. But I did not love the situation she was in with the man in her life, and neither did she. But it took her a long time to come to terms with him.
She was raising their child, while she worked and paid all the bills. Meanwhile, he did as he pleased and did very little to contribute to their home or their relationship. Neither did he make any effort to support her and their child. He has substance abuse problems. When he drinks he uses foul language and doesn’t exercise good judgment. Most of all he isn’t a good role model for their child.
He basically just drank and smoked, while he lay around all day. “And on top of that he eats me out of house and home!” she used to say.
“So he eats all your food, doesn’t work, gets to live for free, while contributing virtually nothing?” I asked her many times. I think she eventually had an “aha!” moment when I asked her this again the other day, because recently she told me that she had asked him to move out, and it felt like a breath of fresh air!
She didn’t feel like anything was holding her back now. She is going to start a new chapter in her life and she feels a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.
She was originally afraid of making this change, because they had been together for so long – over 15 years. But she said then she finally realized, “He changed, and he was taking advantage of me, and I allowed it because I thought he loved me, but he is not longer that same person I met.”
Soulmates, Soul Groups And Soul Contracts
I find that many people in the spiritual and metaphysical communities are looking for their ‘soulmate.’ So what is a soulmate? What does this term mean to you?
A soulmate is often defined as the individual that we can completely resonate with, that we can truly love and that they truly love us back unconditionally. In reality, however, due to our humanness, this may not always be possible and then we may become obsessed with the search for a soulmate. In that search sadly we often miss truly wondrous opportunities to connect with love in the most unusual or unexpected places.
So, why do we fixate on soulmates? The reason is because we crave love. For the majority of people, the pinnacle of human connection is having achieved such a true, ultimate spiritual connection with another individual. It is what we attest to in the ceremony of marriage, the birth of a child, and so forth.
But maybe we should choose to expand our view of a soulmate as being an individual that we have the deepest admiration, respect, love and positive connection with. Then as we look around, with this new definition in mind, we will see that each of us has many, many soulmates.
We should change our paradigm from being one of soulmates having to be our intimate romantic relationship to that of being simply a deep, compassionate heartfelt connection. Then our relationships have the potential of attracting so much more, including the pinnacle connection of true love. Soulmates available to you abound throughout the world. Your universal connection can be instantaneously expanded beyond your wildest belief.
Living With A Sense Of Childlike Wonder
We can be quick to settle into ruts. The day-to-day routines of school, work and family often become repetitive and, dare I say… monotonous at times.
During these mundane periods of discontent, people often focus on themselves, and their lack.
They will complain about being overworked and underpaid. Whether professionally or personally, they often feel under-appreciated and under-acknowledged. Stress and resentment can start to build.
In order to alleviate stress, you already know that there are many options from which to choose. Whether people get into a daily habit of deep breathing, visualization, meditation or various forms of exercise, the body becomes transformed and stress is dissipated for the time being.
Rather than just staving off bubbling-under-the-surface irritation and potential health issues, we recommend taking things a step further.
Most people have heard the phrase, “Stop and smell the flowers!” Well, whether you prefer to cultivate the soil or be an observer, it is vitally important to redevelop a new sense of wonder in the garden of your life.
Make a little time for a detour now and then. Take note of your surroundings. Investigate, photograph, research some of the little things you take for granted in life.
Stop and take notice of everyday things in nature that you have been passing by for years. Even in the concrete jungles of cities, nature abounds if you slow down and take the time to look.
Finding Your Unique Soul Path And Purpose
Sometimes life on the Earth plane seems overly difficult, or perhaps even futile. Depending on where you are in life, what you have achieved and how satisfied you are with the outcomes, these thoughts can be dreary indeed.
Take heart. There is no magic timeline within which you must accomplish great and wonderful things to impress others. You are at liberty to structure your life in a myriad of ways, in the time frame that suits you best.
Take the opportunity to reframe your criteria for success. There are unlimited possibilities when it comes to realizing your ultimate purpose in life. Each person is unique. No two paths are the same. Your journeys, therefore, will not be identical.
Give yourself permission to contemplate your life’s purpose. Allow yourself the latitude to try different ideas before making a lofty commitment. Do not judge yourself harshly for not taking action yet.
Be willing to try a different avenue that better suits your temperament or talents. In general, the end goal can be achieved in many different ways by taking different routes to get there
Avoid comparisons that cause distress. Being inspired by an accomplished master can be wonderful, however, you do not need to pattern your efforts after those of another.
I Am Responsible For Me
We all make mistakes. Each one of us has looked back on our life path and thought, if only I could go back and change it.
I wish I would have bought that house while it was still available at a lower price, because I would be on easy street by now.
Or if I could go back and take that amazing job, which I did not realize was so wonderful at the time, due to my youth and inexperience, I could have retired with a huge pension and many benefits by now.
One of the biggest regret that comes up quite often, is wishing to go back and tell relatives and friends that we love them… before they passed away so unexpectedly. I have so much to say to them right now, I wish I would have said it then.
My favorite saying, and yes, I am guilty of this myself: if I could go back to my teens with the knowledge I now have as an adult, I would change the course of my life and do things differently.
Yes, it would be nice if such a magic wand or time machine was available to us, so we could travel back and start over. However, truth be told, in our youth, we probably would have done the same things again.
The knowledge I have now, is because of the life lessons and mistakes that I have made. My errors and poor decisions created who I am today!
Am I perfect? Heck, no. Do I still mess up? Oh, yes. However, do I carry the things I messed up in my backpack of hardships, or do it let them fall to the ground and return to Mother Earth, and not let them move forward with me?
The Enigma Of Your Soul Contract
Before we come into this lifetime, we design a soul contract. We choose a family that we want to be born to and we plan specific things that we want to accomplish, such as career, relationships, children, and so on. The contract is about our spiritual self and therefore also includes those things that we need to overcome and learn from.
Some of the more important things in your contract may come as a surprise, because often they are those things you do not want to do! This is usually a sure way of knowing that something is contractual. The things we prefer to do, or have done, we’ve already mastered, but the challenges and obstacles offer us opportunity to overcome our fears and anxieties, to step forward and learn more, to grow spiritually.
Some contracts are also much longer than others. Some of us remain here for a long time, while others do not. I doubt anyone knows for sure, but for the time that we are here, we must make every effort to learn and grow from every life experience.
This is also why some of us attract the wrong people, and constantly get into the wrong relationships? In these cases it is often your soul contract trying to teach you to speak up for yourself and claim your self-worth.
When old souls come in, usually nothing bothers them. They tend to take things with a grain of salt. However, when new souls come in, they are often very excited about so many things and can’t seem to get enough done.
There are also the creative souls, who are very talented, but also have a lot of emotional stress. Part of their contract is to learn to manage their stress better, so that they can be more open to their creative gifts. Continue reading
