self-love
Love, Joy And Happiness After Years Of Hardship
I have a client who used to be extremely depressed. I recommend she speak to a therapist or counselor instead, because I felt that is exactly what she needed at the time. She had been harboring a lot of bitterness, grief, sadness, anger and other toxic negative emotions for a very long time. She needed professional help that I felt was beyond my scope of expertise.
So, she found a therapist and went for counseling, but months later she told me that the only thing she felt she accomplished was her spending thousands of dollars on help she never really received. She had still found no relief from her deep distress.
She had been bitter for a long time. While raising her children and attending church, her husband would cheat on her. She also worked the entire time the children were young, until they graduated. Meanwhile, he would leave on ‘business trips’ to go and gamble away their hard-earned livelihood, and spend time with other women. Then one day, he met someone he wanted to marry. So, they divorced and he moved far away to be with his new wife. He was a narcissist.
Her sadness and grief was also due to the loss of her mother, whom she had taken care of for 20 years after her father passed. She sacrificed a lot to dedicate herself to serving her mother’s needs. During this time she had no notion of self-care. She suffered on all levels: emotionally, physically, spiritually. She even gave up going to church. She was slowly dying inside and didn’t even know who she was anymore.
Extend Yourself The Grace Of Forgiveness
If you are an empath you may believe that forgiveness should be easy for you, or at least easier than it is for others. But I’ve spoken to many empaths and highly sensitive people over the years who all struggle with forgiveness.
One of the main issues with forgiveness for the empath is that we feel another’s emotions intensely, literally as our own. This muddies the waters considerably, because it tends to blur boundaries. Blurred boundaries can often lead to a closed mouth for an empath. Why? Because it is difficult for us, especially in childhood or in romantic relationships, to know where we end and another begins.
It is easy for others to manipulate appropriate boundaries with an empath, or to erase them altogether. All the empath knows is that there is pain, sadness, a sense of frustration, or anger. If you are an empath, then the question becomes are you angry with them, or yourself? Should you have been able to foresee the catastrophe happening, the relationship ending, job imploding, and so on. This leads to self-doubt and the rehashing of incidents that occurred years ago…with no resolution.
In the meantime, every time an empath thinks about the situation, past or present, we feel it…and the cycle continues.
Yes, you are empathic, intuitive, even psychic, but that does not make you immune to being human, neither does it make you all-knowing or all-seeing, especially when it comes to your own life, childhood or relationships.
Do It Anyway
No matter what we go through in life and with who, we always come back to the same place… a familiar place of being alone. The thought occurred to me the other day that we come into this world alone, and we go out alone.
Though we may be surrounded by others, at the end of the day, we are still alone when we go to sleep at night. Even if we are married, or in a relationship with someone who sleeps next to us, we still enter into the sleep state or dream state, alone.
Have you ever noticed that people who are comfortable being alone, have somehow mastered being alone without being lonely? There is a true comfort, freedom, and delight in being by oneself, alone. When we are alone, we can take an honest inventory of our life, who we choose to spend time with, and also decide how we wish to spend our time.
The relationship arena seems to be one of the most challenging areas of life. We all fall into traps and pitfalls that can steer us away from our natural state of happiness , which we come home to when we are alone. However, relationships also seem to provide a fast track for our own personal growth by revealing how we interact with other people.
Our relationships point out areas within ourselves that may require growth or increased self-love. Simply put, relationships show us exactly where we need to focus on to come back to a state of wholeness.
The Courage To Shed Our ‘Old Bark’
In recent readings, new romance has been indicated very strongly for one of my regular clients. This is a welcome new development, because for a long time, and to his annoyance, his readings tended to relate more to business than to affairs of the heart! He has been very open to new romance for a long time now, but it has been eluding him.
In many of his readings, his late father featured prominently and suggested that unresolved issues connected to his dad were actually impacting his self-worth. As a result, he also didn’t feel lovable or attractive enough to meet a life partner.
It seems strange though, that after reading for this gentleman for several years, he’d never mentioned his family. The subject only arose unprompted during the recent readings. This suggests that subconsciously he was ready to release that old baggage and to embrace positive change.
Because he was ready, we were discovering that it was important to now remove any deep-seated belief systems and blockages to his happiness, and for him to finally find a life partner who respected him, as opposed to the abusive relationships he’d known for years. I told him that he was like a tree shedding old bark!
This took me back years, to a time when I would help a former boyfriend, who was a horticulturist, with his seasonal work of pruning. He would climb the trees and prune those, and I learned to be quite the rose pruner at ground level.
Living Life – A Message From My Guides
Are you living the life of your dreams? Are you happy or content most of the time? Do you face challenges with confidence, or perhaps dread? Do you compare yourself with others and feel sad, miserable, or even angry at their success? Regardless of whether you feel as though you are at the bottom of the barrel, or soaring among the clouds, there is always room for improvement, and it is never too late to get started.
One of the biggest errors in judgment is all-or-nothing thinking. You do not need to drop everything in your life and start with a blank slate. Not only would that be impossible, it would be totally impractical. Your life so far is a culmination of all your experiences, education, career opportunities and family interactions, and cannot be wiped away like a chalkboard. Instead, you can, and should, start by making course corrections and taking baby steps in the right direction.
Set your intention first. Visualize the end result. Begin the process of redesigning your life gently and allow the universe to conspire in your favor over time. Whether you choose to go back to school, read a book, take a course, attend a conference, learn online or join a group, do something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Do it because you want to, not because you have to.
Set realistic goals and deadlines. If you are juggling a family or career or both, be sensible in your expectations of yourself. Things take time and if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Do not expect overnight results. Life is not a success-only journey, however, each setback holds a series of invaluable lessons. Deal with each issue, learn from the experience and move on with confidence. Continue reading
How To Live A More Spiritually Aware Life
To lead a more spiritual, and therefore a happier and more fulfilled life, you do not need to develop a passion for incense, or hire a guru to assist you in going through some form of spiritual awakening. Instead, you may be comfortable with more down to earth approach.
Firstly, it is important to recognize that religion and spirituality are not necessarily the same things. Religion is just one form of spiritual practice. Spirituality itself is something that comes from within the individual.
Spiritual awareness is a sustained belief that there is much more to life than meets the eye, something greater than yourself, even though you have no evidence for it. Hold onto this belief or feeling, as it is very, very real!
One of the best ways to get in touch with your spirituality is to spend time in nature. It does not matter whether you live, in a town, city, or rural area, connecting with nature is imperative, as it will help to bring a sense of peace to your overworked mind, and it will uplift your spirit with its rejuvenating power. By doing so, it will assist with your spiritual development.
To become more spiritually aware it is also important to learn to control your inner dialogue. Becoming a more spiritual person involves monitoring your inner voice and making sure that your self-talk is healthy. Meditation can be particularly helpful in this respect, as well as recognizing any negative thought patterns or false beliefs that you may have.
How to Experience More Love In Your Life
Over the many years of doing readings, I have found that the number one inquiry people have is about love. This has given me the unique privilege to see love from spirit’s perspective. In the process I have found certain common themes related to love, as well as insights into how to experience more love in our lives. So, here are three spiritual laws that can increase your capacity to experience love.
Karma And Love
Karma is a principle found in nearly every spiritual tradition. It is expressed in many ways. You may have heard the phrase, “You reap what you sow,” for example, which can also be summed up as reciprocity. Simply put, whatever you give out comes back to you multiplied.
When discussing karma, it is important to understand that it is not punitive. Karma is not meant to be a punishment, but instead an education mechanism for the soul. Whatever we give out comes back multiplied. The multiplication aspect of karma is simply to teach us the behaviors that do work, and the behaviors that do not work in life.
It is also best, when discussing karma, to focus on the present moment rather than the long ago past. You cannot change the choices you made three lifetimes ago, and you also cannot change your behaviors ten years ago. But you can change your behaviors today, in this moment. This is where karma is a powerful tool.