self-healing
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
Recycle Your Blessings This Winter Season
As we approach winter in the northern hemisphere, let us be inspired by the seasonal change. Look around and observe nature as it prepares itself for a period of dormancy that leads to renewal and rebirth in the spring.
Change is the catalyst for growth in our lives. Some choose to think of winter as an unpleasant, ‘lifeless’ time, but in truth it is a golden opportunity to connect with the deeper realms of our mind and soul.
Embrace the profound stillness that this season offers and use the longer nights as opportunity for conscious self-reflection. Sit with this stillness and claim your majestic place on the sacred throne that was created solely for you.
Take back your personal power from the turbulence of the outer world and allow the chatter to grow quiet. Trust that in the midst of your most pressing thoughts and that which nags your soul, there is the Divine right path to oneness, healing, balance, peace, reconciliation, spiritual recognition, and soul empowerment.
Along with the obvious holiday cheer, this is one of the many gifts of the winter season; connecting to the eternal flame of the universe that shines on each of us.
As I ponder the personal changes I wish to embark on, I am reminded that nothing new can happen without letting go of the old. Many years ago, a dear friend implemented an annual winter ritual of clearing her closet of personal items she no longer desired. This is always performed just before the New Year.
I recall asking whether she was maybe acting too hastily in letting go of some of her prized possessions, as some of the discarded items were relatively new. She responded that she was creating space for new gifts to enter her life, while passing the old on to others who might be blessed by receiving it. My friend essentially spoke of recycling her blessings, a concept that was new to me at the time. And in doing so, she created a special karma for herself that opened the path for new delights to enter her life.
Banish Fear With The Power Of The Heart
I woke up from a powerful dream this morning. I was on the top floor of a high-rise building that had been struck by lightning. The building slowly started to move, to quake. I could see from the window neighboring structures being destroyed, and I sensed my own building’s collapse was imminent…with me inside it!
Could I make it down the stairs in time? I was about to try, but my exit was delayed by a pair of sparkling opal earrings that I simply had to take with me! But I could not manage to hold onto them for long. They kept slipping out of my hand, while the apocalypse was happening all around me.
I just had to bring the blingy earbobs – I am a Taurus, after all.
Then, as I gazed at the two little treasures, a stark truth hit me. I suddenly realized these material things do not matter in life and it shouldn’t delay me further. I also understood for some reason that the earrings now belonged to someone else and would bring them much joy in future. So, I returned the jewelry to the table where I found it…just before my building finally came crashing down.
Certainly, a lot to unpack. Temptation, ownership, materialism, impermanence, spiritual values, mortality, life goals.
But let’s get back to the dream.
Somehow, incredulously, like in a Marvel Comics adventure, I landed outside, unharmed. Then I found myself on a raft, with my immediate family all suddenly with me. We were rapidly floating together down a river.
Then it was time for us to get off, before we got hurt, but we were reluctant to do so. Suddenly, there was a friendly tribe of indigenous people on the bank of the river, expectantly waiting for us by a wall. So, we felt safe to dive off the raft, and we did so. The tribe members showed us the way through a hidden opening in the wall, and we all made it out safely to someplace new!
Reversing The Reversals
You’re moving at a breakneck pace and everything is going like gangbusters. Good health, great job, satisfying relationship. You just moved in with the person of your dreams and you’re banking some major coin that gives you many options in life. Travel, designer clothes, flashy car with all the latest bells and whistles. You’re the belle of the ball, the center of attention, feeling like Ms Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind.
Any problems you might have, like those recurring nightmares in which you’re being chased and can’t get away, you simply disregard. You’ll rather think about it tomorrow. Every morning you simply turn a blind eye and start another glorious day. Today is good, forget about last night. No time to see the truth in the rear view mirror.
And then a global pandemic hits. Suddenly the entire world is reversed and upside down. Everywhere people are dropping out and tuning into misery. You’re stuck at home with your new live-in partner who no longer looks so shiny, neither does the new car, even with all those bells and whistles.
You’re feeling shell-shocked, overwhelmed, scared. You feel like a trapped lab rat, waiting for an insidious disease to strike. Meanwhile you are getting a crash course in relationship 101, learning about all your partner’s peccadilloes, those annoying little quirks and habits you used to find so cute. Then the awesome job goes away, and you and lab rat partner are left to fight all the time. One of you needs to leave. But neither of you can go anywhere.
All you can do is go within. Sleep becomes a refuge, until those nasty nightmares become more of a reality to you than your waking life. And now you feel like a zombie; the dead version of your former vibrant self.
This is what’s called a reversal in life. Dramatic? Yes. Depressing? Absolutely. We all encounter it from time to time, the reversals, the spiritual contrasts. Sometimes not quite so dramatic, other times even more so.
The Wisdom Of The Trees
The annual seasons profoundly affect perennial trees. Each year many species of perennial change color, release their leaves, go dormant, and then come back to life in the spring with new growth.
As humans we could learn a lot from these trees. Firstly, they are naturally in tune with the seasons. They can ebb and flow with the natural order of things. For a season their leaves will gather up energy from the sun for growth. They bask in the light and find nourishment. And they can do this because of their ability to release the old when the time comes.
There are times in our lives when we also need to release the old things from the past. All our life experiences have natural course and expiry date to them. All our relationships in this physical life are also temporary experiences. Knowing this allows us to be in the flow with the cycles of life and the afterlife.
Too often we resolutely cling to the past, which causes us to feel stuck or keeps us from developing the types of relationships and experiences we truly want. If the trees were to hold on to their old dead leaves, there would be no room nor energy for further growth. It would be impossible for them to thrive and be nourished by the sun.
There is also no way for trees to perpetually grow. One time I planted a tree late in the season. I gave it lots of nourishment, but over the winter it died off. By fertilizing the tree, I was creating a condition that would not allow it to survive. The fall is when trees release their leaves so the wood can harden off.
Too often people want to run to the next experience, and the next experience. Or they they try to make an experience last indefinitely. They want to make the ‘summer’ of their peak human experiences last forever. They never give themselves the opportunity to let go and properly grieve what has been, in order to recenter and become stable and energized for the next spring.
It is important for us to acknowledge our actual life experiences and move through the winter seasons in a way that prepares us for the next season. There is a temptation to just keep running to the next experience or next relationship to satiate a previous painful experience. However, in doing so we create situations that are toxic and unsustainable.
The Powerful Practice Of Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, also known as ‘soul gazing,’ is a powerful meditative practice that can be done on your own, or with a partner. Eye gazing is an ancient tantric practice of looking deeply into someone’s eyes to foster a spiritual connection.
Eye gazing is a potent means of connecting with yourself and others to build genuine connection in your life. It is also an exciting way to build meaningful intimacy with a romantic partner. If you have trouble opening up to others, eye gazing can be an effective tool to help you get comfortable and confront any fears you may have around being seen. It can be done alone, with a friend, or with a romantic partner.
It is also a powerful tool for discovering how past lives may be helping or hindering you in your current incarnation, and for receiving messages directly from Spirit. It can be used as a method for communication with your guides and higher self.
Anyone can eye gaze, and I feel everyone should try it at least once! Whether you do it alone or with a partner, eye gazing can offer some profound insight and create potent shifts in our perspective that allow you to break limiting patterns in your life.
Eye gazing requires no special equipment or paraphernalia to set the mood, although it can be pleasant to light some incense or candles if desired. You can also use music but ensure that it is meditative, gentle, instrumental music without lyrics that will not distract you. The only thing you really need is a timer, as well as a partner, or mirror if you are gazing by yourself.
Typically, I encourage people to start gazing for just a few minutes at a time, but as you become more comfortable you can certainly increase the length of your gazes.