life drama
Be Mindful Who You Allow Into Your Energy Field
We all know someone who is personally so miserable they want everyone around them to be equally miserable too. You can usually tell by how they talk, behave, and treat others.
Due to a recent encounter I personally had with a relative who is acts like this, I decided to ask spirit for insight and guidance on how to deal with such people. How does a spiritually conscious person handle someone who makes us feel as though we need to walk on eggshells whenever we are around them?
Spirit showed me that we all have those relatives or friends who are obviously very unhappy and choose to take it out on others. Spirit says the first step is to not participate in any argument they try to initiate. Simply don’t respond. To argue it takes two people. So simply do not buy their drama.
It can get very uncomfortable when such a negative, toxic individual engages with you. They can make us feel really bad – often for no reason other than wanting to bring you down to their low frequency. Don’t allow them to push your buttons. By not giving in to their ploy, you remain connected to the Light,
Understand that some people are in a very fragmented place of spiritual disconnect and emotional dysfunction, often because they never dealt with their emotional issues on a deeper level. So, because of that they take it out on others.
Spirit says we must seek to create some healthy space and set boundaries with these people. We can be compassionate and understanding, without becoming their victims or emotional punchbags. It is your spiritual right to take back your power.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
Transmuting Enemy Energy
Some clients ask for readings about people they think of as their enemies, and I’ve seen certain commonalities with this over the years. In these relationships there are typically an energy pattern that has formed to create a dynamic of mistrust, tension, and resentment.
One of the most prevalent issues I have noticed in terms of long-standing resentment or hatred towards another, is that both parties usually consider themselves the ‘victim,’ and that the other person is always in their mind the one who is in the wrong.
When you take it a level deeper, you usually find there was an initial intense or significant energy when these two people first met – be it a lover, friend, or work associate. It is usually a conflicting energy that sets the tone for their future ‘vibe’ with each other.
This initial energy has a resistance to it and eventually takes on a life of its own, separate from the two conflicting parties. Peel away the layers of this ‘enemy energy demon’ and you come to find it is essentially comprised of nothing more than simple fear.
Also, this enemy demon resists the idea of resolution and will not accept its own demise. It will do whatever it can to stay alive, and it feeds off the emotions anger, fear, and sadness. I believe this is what may be responsible for some suicides, violence, acts of terrorism, mass corruption, and others evil we see in the world.
There is never an excuse for violence. If someone is attacking or harming another person, safety and protection come first. Recovering from trauma is not typically something that happens quickly. However, when we are better informed about what is behind the behavior patterns of those who hate us, we can better see to the root of the disease.
Free Your Soul From Toxic Negativity
It is usually advisable to get over it and move on. When we continue to vent about people or things that annoy or frustrate us, or when we cannot forgive someone who has wronged us, and we go on, and on, and on about it, we are affirming the negative and attracting more of the same energy into our life.
Revenge or vitriol does absolutely no harm to another person, only to the person pursuing it. Anger or hatred does not affect the other person, only the person sending it out. What comes from your own spirit, your thoughts, words, actions, is what you will create in your own life. You are hurting or changing no one with your negative feelings other than yourself.
That person who hurt you has moved on with their life. In fact, they might even be living their best life, while you are still stuck and stagnant in the pain and misery of the past. It only becomes baggage that carries forward into the now, and into the future.
I once had a client who obsessively held onto anger, hatred, spite, and revenge towards her ex for over a decade. She could not figure out why every new relationship and project in her life since then failed miserably, usually with almost the same endings.
Finally, after years of struggling to bring her different insights, she was able to look at the person who hurt her, release his memory with loving, forgiving energy, and let the whole thing go. Then, as I had predicted, the next person who came into her life was everything she had always wanted in a partner!
In fact, her new beloved was far better than anything she ever had with Mr. Most Hated, before it went wrong, and had she continued on her path of anger and toxic baggage carrying, this new love miracle would most likely never have happened.
When Relationships Are Not Meant To Be
I have in recent months become particularly aware how many people are increasingly reminiscing about failed past relationships. In some cases, these are relationships that go back many years. Some folks even go as far as stalking their ex-partners on social media!
I believe it is mainly due to the unusual circumstances caused by the pandemic over the past two years, which prevented the possibility of meeting a new people, or going out on dates. It also brought many of us intense life lessons regarding love, connection, belonging, and loneliness.
I see these issues coming up in many readings nowadays and it often doesn´t sit too well with some of my clients, who tend to feel that their ‘love luck is down,’ or that that the universe is somehow ‘punishing’ them. In extreme cases, folks even believe a hex or curse may have been placed on them.
I also find many people are talking about ´what ifs.’ If only they had done things differently, how things might have turned out differently. But perhaps, if things were meant to have worked out differently, it would have? Again, this would fall in line with certain life lessons we came to this world to experience. I believe we have chosen to incarnate into this world at a time when romantic and social relationships often tend to be more fleeting and distant, especially because of digital technology and our rushed modern way of living.
Interestingly, I am also seeing lately more divorcées remarrying their former spouse after spending many years apart, and despite having lived a new life with someone else in the interim. This often drives their children insane after all the heartbreak, drama and grief the divorce had unnecessarily caused the family. Again, a hard lesson, but a life lesson nevertheless for all concerned.
Just Existing, Not Living?
Do you ever feel like you’re existing and not actually living? Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I think at some point in our lives we all do, especially after everything we have endured over the past two years.
In these difficult times, we worry about our health and safety, money, career paths and choices, the perfect house, the perfect partner or spouse.
Our children. Have we raised them right? Or, have we spoiled them? If you don’t know yet…two year olds grow up and teenagers grow out of it!
All of the above are legitimate concerns. But at some point we need to remember to worry only about the things we can control.
Stop focusing so much time and energy on the things you cannot control. All it brings us are toxic thought patterns, an anxious heart and a restless soul. Once we have learned to give all of that up, life seems a tiny bit easier.
There is a famous saying: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” How very true. You can fixate on all the frustrations, promise yourself that you’ll do this and that, or feel better once you get to wherever – but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. Because it’s easier to think about what you’d rather do, than to just going out and doing it.
Saying ‘I’m Sorry’
I had a conversation not too long ago with friends about the increasing breakdown in civility, courtesy, and decency in society. The lack of good manners creates isolation, loneliness and a feeling of not being cared for.
I have noticed these days when you tell others you are not doing well or going through a hard time, the other person often doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You’re lucky if you get at least a blank stare! This is not how grew up. There were a few ‘odd’ people in the old days who seemed stoic or lacking in empathy – but they stuck out! Now it seems to be the norm.
I saw a post on social media recently stating that we should stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ for everything. Instead, for example, if you are late, one should say ‘thank you for waiting for me.’ I feel this ill-conceived idea is a reflection of the social issues we face as a society today.
If someone was late and didn’t say sorry (which happens often to me) I would be even more annoyed. Words are powerful. A sincere apology (and forgiveness) has tremendous power.
The idea that no apology is needed when you are late is very narcissistic in my opinion. Life is not always about us, or what suits us, because in this world what is best for others is in fact also what is best for us. Selfish, cruel, mean people end up being miserable. Generous, well-mannered, kind-hearted people are blessed.
The concept here is apparently that by offering a sincere apology you are being submissive or bowing down to someone else by degrading yourself. Well, that is simply bizarre. An apology is a way of honoring the other person and keeping your dignity?
We all make mistakes. I am usually on time, but I have been late a few times in my life. Honor and dignity are not objects of pride; they are objects of humility, compassion, and respect for others.