self-awareness
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever.
There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong?
I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger.
We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential.
We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
When it comes to conflict and disagreements, I feel that the two things one should never do is say something that you cannot take back later, and never go to bed angry. Words can hurt terribly and even if you forget about it, your partner won’t.
I Am Responsible For Me
We all make mistakes. Each one of us has looked back on our life path and thought, if only I could go back and change it.
I wish I would have bought that house while it was still available at a lower price, because I would be on easy street by now.
Or if I could go back and take that amazing job, which I did not realize was so wonderful at the time, due to my youth and inexperience, I could have retired with a huge pension and many benefits by now.
One of the biggest regret that comes up quite often, is wishing to go back and tell relatives and friends that we love them… before they passed away so unexpectedly. I have so much to say to them right now, I wish I would have said it then.
My favorite saying, and yes, I am guilty of this myself: if I could go back to my teens with the knowledge I now have as an adult, I would change the course of my life and do things differently.
Yes, it would be nice if such a magic wand or time machine was available to us, so we could travel back and start over. However, truth be told, in our youth, we probably would have done the same things again.
The knowledge I have now, is because of the life lessons and mistakes that I have made. My errors and poor decisions created who I am today!
Am I perfect? Heck, no. Do I still mess up? Oh, yes. However, do I carry the things I messed up in my backpack of hardships, or do it let them fall to the ground and return to Mother Earth, and not let them move forward with me?
Context, Context, Context
In the sales and marketing field they often talk of ‘location, location, location’ (no matter how good your product or service is, how successful you are often comes down to location). Perhaps in our communication with others we should think of context, context, and context?
We have entered a period of time in the world that communication is misconstrued, even fake and has more opportunities to be interpreted as confrontational, biased, and not politically correct.
On top of that put an individual’s personal style of communication – introvert, extrovert, analytical, emotional subjective and all the other styles, and the matter becomes more thorny.
Then, add even another layer, such as email and social media, which does not involve the other person being face-to-face.
Now communication becomes even more complex, because body language and the human expression energetically is not a resource available to us to can pick up on the subtle options for interpretation. We will initially respond to the email from our frame of reference, and our reference alone, which is biased by our experiences.
So what do we do? Well, we recognize the importance of ourselves being energy vibration, through which our body communicates consciously and subconsciously with everything in our environment. We acknowledge that our emotions, beliefs and thoughts are complex, inter-connected and influence each situational response in our communication.
Small Gestures Of Kindness In A Time Of Cruelty
Many people are feeling anxious or uncertain in recent years with everything that has been happening in the world.
Some are fearful and others stressed or unsure how to act appropriately in these restless times. Some even act out in destructive or dramatic ways, taking their frustration out on others.
It is common knowledge that the digital age and social media has spawned a generation of computer warriors and online bullies who express their insecurities and fears, in often extremely mean and cruel ways, from the comfort of their living rooms and basements.
This savage lack of empathy and decorum has seemingly now spilt over into our streets and neighborhoods too.
It is easier for many to be critical and judgmental, to complain and argue, instead of facing facts, dealing with the truth and seeking lasting solutions.
Often not knowing the entire story, many people choose to see only see one side of things, while telling others off for disagreeing with their limited point of view. The computer has unfortunately given some people a platform to spread strife and hatred, instead of love, hope and kindness.
I pray that more people will strive to seek the truth and learn to look for the good and kind in others. Showing tolerance, patience and kindness is always the better, more open approach. And always remember that if someone attacks you directly, then it often means they are somehow struggling or hurting. It usually serves no real purpose to attack them back. Continue reading
Are You Erasing Your Blessings?
The unselfish gifts of our time, money, and resources as well as our labors of love bring us many blessings in this lifetime and the next.
When we are kind and generous to others, we are also showered with good fortune in return. We know this from the ‘golden rule’ of ‘do unto others’ found in many religions and spiritual traditions.
Buy I have read for many clients over the years who are kindhearted and loving people, but complain about their life being very difficult and deprived. They never have enough money, or they cannot find love, or health and well-being seem to evade them. “I am always helping others, but I get nothing in return,” they might say.
Why is this the case? Why are these generous, caring people not being blessed more often for their good deeds?
Well, my guides have made the spiritual cause of this very clear to me. It is my understanding that we do not only add items of charity and compassion to the list of entries on our ‘chalkboard,’ but we also delete or erase them!
You see, when we do a good deed, it gets added to our list of potential ‘return blessings.’ But, if we go around bragging about it, boasting, showing off, telling people how generous or kind we have been, those good deeds become nullified, neutralized, erased. It loses its metaphysical power and spiritual meaning. It can no longer bless us in return.
True Love Has No Time Limit, And No Deadline!
We live in a busy world where most of us have gotten used to a very hurried life. Everything is on a strict schedule and time limit, because we now judge everything this way.
We have become a restless society demanding instant solutions and immediate gratification in all things.
If the line is too long at the supermarket or fast food restaurant, some of us get upset. If we have to wait for our doctor when we have an appointment, we become annoyed. Some cut in front of others, or even cross streets while the light is still red, because they hate to wait.
Similarly, if we do not get an immediate reaction from our latest love interest, some of us do not become just a little restless or anxious. No, they get really upset!
If this kind of hurried, rushed way of life plagues you, then you may definitely need an major attitude adjustment. Because your naturally loving heart and your capacity for love and romance may be in serious trouble.
Maybe your heart never got the memo that there was no need to constantly hurry up and adhere to time limits and deadlines.
What happened to dating? Romantic chats? Patiently anticipated expressions of affection? Dozens of love letters, and more recently emails and test messages? The joint holidays and weekends away? The looking forward to new adventures together?
The Empowered Empath’s Guide To Spiritual Self-Care
Empaths, sensitives and intuitives tend to be givers. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.
So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed.
But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.
For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful!
But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about.
What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.