patterns
Slow Down, Relax And Let Go
A friend recently mentioned that when she finally made up her mind to just allow herself to relax, let go and feel safe in the presence of spirit, she felt her shoulders spontaneously lowering from her ears back down to their natural position. “It was such a surprising relief,” she sighed.
Indeed, when we slow down and relax, we can let go of the worries and fears that are beyond our control. When we give ourselves permission to just let go, it allows deep healing to begin, and to be more in-tune and connected to our body and its needs.
There is no need for us to control everything. It serves our highest good to release the past, the limitations, the fears and anxieties, the unforeseen circumstances, and the constant criticisms and judgements. Instead, we must allow the Universe to work on our behalf.
As a child I was an obsessive worrier, over-achiever and a classic Type A personality – harder on myself than anyone else could ever be! I even refused to use an eraser doing my school work. My mother would say that’s why they put erasers at the end of pencils, to easily correct our mistakes. But I felt I had to do everything perfectly the first time. It was exhausting.
Mom also would say that most of the things we worry about never actually happen. My mother had many such words of wisdom, which my daughter today calls grandma’s “nanaisms.” Well, Nana was spot on! We tend to waste so much precious time and energy on worrying about absolutely nothing.
Lost time and wasted energy, however, is not all we sacrifice to our fears and worries. When we constantly anticipate problems or disasters in every life situation, we create unnecessary stress and anxiety, which can also lead to illness, relationship problems, depression, and even premature aging and death.
How Sticky Notes Can Change Your Life
We live in a world where we are bombarded with negativity every day. Whether it comes from social media or the mainstream news, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of negative information and fear-based messages. And the more we are exposed to all this negative input, the more we internalize it, until it becomes part of our self-talk and general state of mind.
Fortunately, the solution to some of life’s most complex challenges can often be found in the most mundane. Enter the simple sticky note! By writing down simple, positive affirmations or slogans on a bunch of sticky notes, and placing them anywhere you will see them frequently, you can significantly change your inner dialogue from constant negativity and nay-saying to one of possibility, hope and optimism.
Choose simple, short affirmations that resonate with who you are, and what you truly want in life. Whether it’s something like, “I am worthy,” or “Love surrounds me,” or even, “I will get that dream job,” it will inspire you to change the narrative and negative self-talk each time you read one of these short statements out loud.
This technique always reminds me of the famous opening scene of the television cartoon, The Simpsons, with Bart Simpson writing a phrase over and over on the chalkboard. There’s actually some method in the madness of this old-fashioned way of disciplining schoolkids. When our brain repeats a word or phrase over and over again, new neural pathways are created with new associations. Saying something once or twice only, we’re just as likely to forget it. But if it’s something we repeat many times, our brain will literally change over time, and so will our patterns of thought, feeling and action.
It’s been shown that establishing a new habit, or making new behavior automatic, takes on average about two months. Try placing your sticky notes in those places you spend most of your time every day: in your workspace, your car, on the bathroom mirror, the kitchen refrigerator, or on your bedside table. The more you see (and repeat) the words written on them, the more you will start to transform your thinking.
Overcoming Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
You’ve probably heard this before. I talk about this all the time. But the concept is one that has had such a huge impact on my life, I just have to share it! You are not your thoughts, or your feelings. You are the soul or spirit who has the ability to observe and experience your thoughts and feelings.
When I made this realization, I had already been working for years on my tendency to be very critical with my inner dialogue. But only when I paid attention to it from a spiritual perspective, did I realize how harsh I had really been on myself.
Our minds are constantly full of inner chatter which, when left unattended, can become a toxic breeding ground for fear, self-judgment and limiting belief patterns. Once I realized I was separate from my thoughts and feelings as a spiritual being, I began to observe them more objectively.
As a natural consequence of this, I found myself asking some really compelling questions. What was I believing about these thoughts? What kind of emotions are these thoughts bringing up? This kind of self-reflection opens a conversation with your heart, your soul, your higher self.
Your mind is designed to keep you safe. This too often means keeping you confined within your comfort zones and self-limiting beliefs. Your heart and soul, on the other hand, want you to grow and expand. The higher self wants you to learn, and play, and, and explore, and experience as much as possible in this lifetime.
Harmonizing The Energy Flow Of Money
When I was younger, I never thought of money as being spiritual or metaphysical in any way. I never considered the possibility that our financial prosperity, or lack thereof, may be somehow connected to our thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it. Even after studying business, and working as an accountant for many years, I never saw the correlation. It wasn’t until I began to explore the spiritual aspect of my life, that I became aware of this link.
I became the sole income provider in my home, after my divorce. At this time, I began to look more deeply into my beliefs and associations with money. If you personally relate to my experience during those difficult days, you will also understand what it feels like to be totally overwhelmed when you are experiencing many new obstacles in your life to financial security and cash flow.
Fortunately, there has always been a logical and practical part of myself that kicks in when I’m faced with big challenges and difficult choices, especially around financial decisions. This instinctive part of me is a natural default from my years as an accountant and mortgage finance consultant.
When my inner accountant comes out, I look at the logical side of things and rationally reason my decisions. Then, on other occasions, the spiritually aware, intuitive part of me knows that if I am overly stressed and worried about money, I block my own energy flow from the Source of all things abundant. I have often also seen that my creative process and artwork doesn’t flow freely when I become too worried about finances – I just paint ‘mud.’
So, how do we find balance between our logical, human need for material security, and the intuitive, spiritual aspect of our soul that finds it easy to trust the unknown? How do we find that balance?
We Are All Worthy Of Forgiveness
Sometimes my brokenhearted clients ask when the person they love will also hurt the way they have been hurt by them. They have been wounded, sometimes very deeply, and they so desperately want to know that the one who hurt them will also suffer in the end. Preferably, a lot!
They desire retribution for all the pain, suffering and deceit they have suffered due this person. There has to be some kind of justice. Isn’t there some form of karma, they will ask pleadingly.
Some spiritual teachings and belief systems suggest that our most emotionally challenging experiences in this lifetime occur as a result of life lessons we have agreed upon with other souls, before being born into this particular lifetime. This concept is known as our life plan, soul agreement or soul contract, among other.
These challenges can present themselves as blockages and patterns, that we aspire to finally recognize on a soul level and then to rise above – too often after repeating the same lessons many times over during this lifetime and others.
Yes, it makes sense to me that there is a profound lesson in harsh, life-changing experiences, but it’s not so easy to see it that way, and to believe it could be something we would have agreed to, especially when we hurt so badly now.
Changing Your Think-Feel-Act Cycle
There is a popular saying, “Where attention goes, energy flows.” And since everything is energy, we often forget how true this is and how it plays out in our lives. We can be stuck in the same groove without noticing it. And then we think, where has time gone, and maybe it’s too late to change?
The good news is, as long as we are still breathing, it’s never too late to change, or to choose differently to create a different outcome.
All things in the Universe is energy vibrating at various frequencies, and so does our thoughts. This is highly relevant in the think-feel-act cycle of our mind-body connection. Our thoughts have an effect on our feelings, and then our actions, which ultimately produce outcome in our lives.
Our thoughts and feelings can even affect our body and physical health, as well as how a situation will play out in our relationships, finances, daily habits and lifestyle choices.
In relationships, it’s important to look at how we view ourselves first, as it has a direct relationship on how others will react to us. How we think, feel and act can make a big difference in relationship outcomes with friends, lovers, co-workers and family.
No More Procrastination
Do you also procrastinate? Procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished by a certain deadline. Or do you sometimes intentionally delay the completion of a task, despite knowing it might have negative consequences? Ninety five percent of people procrastinate at some point in life.
To break the habit of procrastination we must find some self-compassion when a task at hand causes us stress just thinking about tackling it. Some tasks just seem too big or overwhelming, and we can’t seem to motivate ourselves to get it done.
Procrastination makes most people feel guilt and shame. For some extreme procrastinators, negative feelings may trigger another reason not to complete a task. Only to become a vicious cycle of self-defeat. Most procrastinators tend to put off endings, as well as beginnings and commitments.
I have a close friend that has all kinds of ideas for a book she is writing. While collecting material, she put of starting the actual writing for three years. She felt she needed several points of view about the subject matter. She always needed one more.
Now, 13 years later, she can’t seem to stop writing the same book. The idea of being an author just feels so good to her now. The added benefit of this is that whenever she is asked what she has been up to, she loves to say, “I’m writing a book.”.