growth
Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
How Empathy Can Help You Love Your Career
Career-oriented empaths, who find value in succeeding in their chosen field, sometimes hit the wall at work. You wake up one day and realize, your performance record has declined, you haven’t had an amazing review in years, you have to triple check your work and even worse, you are always passed over for promotions. No wonder you feel resentful, and like you can’t keep up at work. And no matter what your career choice, it usually looks something like this.
You finish college, which was most likely easier for you. You get into the company of your choice, and you start excelling. Almost immediately moving through the ranks with ease. You recognize that life, although it has its bumps, seems to unfold fairly easy for you. And you have a feeling, more than a feeling, a knowing, that it is connected to your sixth sense, your gut feeling, those little flurries of feelings that has always guided you through life. You may not recognize it as your empathy yet, but you know that your gut instinct has always led you in the right direction, and when you are in tune with it, things do tend to happen.
Retrogrades Are Opportunities For Growth
Have you been feeling down and struggling lately? Over the past few months the cosmic energies have been really heavy and challenging. However, one thing to really think about is point of view. Everything in life is about perspective. That old saying of when life gives you lemons make lemonade is a perfect example.
When planets in general are retrograde, especially Mercury, all too often people tend to find the potential ‘challenges’ and the negativity in that energy. I feel retrograde planets are not about negativity, but about using our energy to help us.
The planets each represent something, and aspect of our lives. It’s different for each of us, depending on our own personal birth chart. Planets influence all different categories and parts of our lives and just like every area in our lives, things ebb and flow. We have to fumble and fall sometimes with mistakes in order to grow and learn.
How To Trust Your Spiritual Teacher
If you have a spiritual teacher, how do you know you can trust her? Weren’t you told to trust yourself first? Wait, how do you know you can trust your therapist, or even your doctor? Especially with all the sexual assault cases coming to light these days, it is scary to think that someone who is supposed to be your protector, care-giver, or mentor will use that position to manipulate you into a situation that is abusive, sometime violently abusive. Thinking about this can be horrifying, but so is not thinking about it.
What about the idea ‘trust yourself’? The problem with just trusting yourself is that if you grew up in an alcoholic, drug-abusing, violent family, or in some of the more subtle dysfunctional family dynamics, such as having a narcissistic or wounded parent, your radar for self-care is damaged. You do not yet have the skills to discern what is healthy for you. Your brain and nervous system is literally wired for dysfunction as your default normal setting. This means you will choose the dysfunction you know, because it is all you know. You will seek out an alcoholic lover; or you will find jobs with narcissistic bosses, for example.
Know The Man, Know The Woman
You have finally met the partner of your dreams. Things are going well. You have been consistently dating for a few months. Your new lover is meeting all your criteria and needs. Your beloved is attentive, communicative, dedicated, steadily employed, loving, and overall everything that you could want in a person.
You have fantasized and visualized ad infinitum that this person is coming into your life and finally, you have found them! You no longer have to endure the dating scene or online window shopping, ghosting and pain. Life is good!
Then my phone rings. The client on the other end of the phone wants to know where things are going with their significant other. “What does the future hold for us?” they ask, “Please tell me what you see.” I then tell them what I feel, see and hear. But I begin by getting to the truth that they are concealing.
The Moon’s Phases Of Love
Followers of Astrology accept that the planets affect the cycles in our lives, including our love lives. But did you know the Moon’s phases, which span roughly 29 days, are each a reflection of a different stage in a relationship?
The New Moon is a broader symbol of new beginnings and is the perfect time to begin something brand new. Try inviting a new love interest into your life, if you are unattached, or if you have a partner, try to take it to another level!
When the Moon is in its Waxing Crescent phase (growing from new), put in some extra work in your love life and build on momentum. It’s also a perfect time for self-reflection and troubleshooting.
At First Quarter it’s time to stop, take a few steps back, and look objectively at your relationship. Do you need to make adjustments? Is this a relationship you really want to pursue?
A Sense of Purpose – A Message From My Guides
We are aware that sometimes life on the Earth plane seems overly difficult, or perhaps even futile at times. Depending on where you are in life, what you have achieved and how satisfied you are with the outcomes, these thoughts can be dreary indeed.
Take heart. There is no magic timeline within which you must accomplish great and wonderful things to impress others. You are at liberty to structure your life in a myriad of ways, in the time frame that suits you best.
Take the opportunity to reframe your criteria for success. There are unlimited possibilities when it comes to realizing your ultimate purpose in life. Each person is unique. No two paths are the same. Your journeys, therefore, will not be identical.