growth
No More Procrastination
Do you also procrastinate? Procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished by a certain deadline. Or do you sometimes intentionally delay the completion of a task, despite knowing it might have negative consequences? Ninety five percent of people procrastinate at some point in life.
To break the habit of procrastination we must find some self-compassion when a task at hand causes us stress just thinking about tackling it. Some tasks just seem too big or overwhelming, and we can’t seem to motivate ourselves to get it done.
Procrastination makes most people feel guilt and shame. For some extreme procrastinators, negative feelings may trigger another reason not to complete a task. Only to become a vicious cycle of self-defeat. Most procrastinators tend to put off endings, as well as beginnings and commitments.
I have a close friend that has all kinds of ideas for a book she is writing. While collecting material, she put of starting the actual writing for three years. She felt she needed several points of view about the subject matter. She always needed one more.
Now, 13 years later, she can’t seem to stop writing the same book. The idea of being an author just feels so good to her now. The added benefit of this is that whenever she is asked what she has been up to, she loves to say, “I’m writing a book.”.
Do It Anyway
No matter what we go through in life and with who, we always come back to the same place… a familiar place of being alone. The thought occurred to me the other day that we come into this world alone, and we go out alone.
Though we may be surrounded by others, at the end of the day, we are still alone when we go to sleep at night. Even if we are married, or in a relationship with someone who sleeps next to us, we still enter into the sleep state or dream state, alone.
Have you ever noticed that people who are comfortable being alone, have somehow mastered being alone without being lonely? There is a true comfort, freedom, and delight in being by oneself, alone. When we are alone, we can take an honest inventory of our life, who we choose to spend time with, and also decide how we wish to spend our time.
The relationship arena seems to be one of the most challenging areas of life. We all fall into traps and pitfalls that can steer us away from our natural state of happiness , which we come home to when we are alone. However, relationships also seem to provide a fast track for our own personal growth by revealing how we interact with other people.
Our relationships point out areas within ourselves that may require growth or increased self-love. Simply put, relationships show us exactly where we need to focus on to come back to a state of wholeness.
The Dreary Room Of Unbearable, Silent Suffering
Some people spend their life as if they are trapped in a cheap motel room with drawn, yellowed shades and a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door. Is this possibly your life too?
To ponder such an important question, to be sure, brings an illuminating insight not necessarily appreciated until consciously recognized – but not while holding a ‘passing fancy’ flippant attitude of nonchalant concern. Long-awaited release often only arrives after the slit, which has formed from those unbalanced motel drapes, offers a hint of brightness to the dreary room of denial and pretense.
Too many days of too many lives are dissipated in unexpressed anger, masked as benevolent concern. Until you come to grips with the gnawing unsettling disturbance, in your chest, you will, in no way, be able to embrace the fullness of unfulfilled potential in your life.
Raw adventure, insatiable variety, fun-loving spontaneity, and serendipitous enjoyment: words which now maybe symbolize an alien state of mind for you, are but a numbing reminder of how easily things which were so much a part of your life have slipped into another phase, which does no longer interests you in the least. In other words, could it be that you have become an unbearable bore to yourself and others?
You know how to create unending comedy in all of our endeavors, but may have forsaken the practice for a duller, somber, ‘more responsible,’ serious nature… which you feel is more appropriate and acceptable. You need to be more committed, you say, and much more dependable, in order to be happy. But, pray tell me, what has happened to your contented spirit? Where is your vivaciousness and vitality? By working so hard to achieve a specific way of producing certain results, you have deposited yourself in a sealed bank vault where there seems to be no possible method of withdrawal.
Shenpa Is Not About Getting ‘Called Out’
A true teacher offers you a path to extraordinary personal expansion, because she has no investment in praising you in your mediocrity or dysfunction, in order to help you falsely ‘feel good,’ so you will keep coming back for more. But many people find it hard, threatening, or embarrassing, to practice shenpa, even if it is coming from a teacher that loves them enough to be sometimes more committed to their advancement than they are themselves.
Shenpa is a form of mindfulness, applied to you, so you can basically call it ‘mindful self-awareness.’ It is originally a concept in Tibetan Buddhism, meaning ‘attachment’ or a place where we become ‘hooked’ or ‘stuck.’ Pema Chödrön describes shenpa as “the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down. We get hooked in that moment of tightening when we reach for relief. To get unhooked, we begin by recognizing that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment.”
In this age of ‘victim worship,’ most people have been taught and rewarded for being or praising victims, no matter what. This approach infers that the victim is a deformed, delicate, broken porcelain object that must be treated with soft gloves. The victim is considered to be so emotionally and mentally deranged that you must coddle them, because deep down inside you don’t believe they have the resources in their own Self to recover, to grow, to self-validate.
This ultimately is a putdown… not a vote of confidence. This gives the message to the victim that they are ruined for life and therefore you will tolerate any behavior from them. This gives the subliminal message that you feel sorry for them, do not expect much, if anything from them, and also do not ultimately believe they will ever recover. They are, in your mind, and how you treat them, damaged for life. But actually they are not. Getting a scar is not brain damage! Continue reading
The Courage To Shed Our ‘Old Bark’
In recent readings, new romance has been indicated very strongly for one of my regular clients. This is a welcome new development, because for a long time, and to his annoyance, his readings tended to relate more to business than to affairs of the heart! He has been very open to new romance for a long time now, but it has been eluding him.
In many of his readings, his late father featured prominently and suggested that unresolved issues connected to his dad were actually impacting his self-worth. As a result, he also didn’t feel lovable or attractive enough to meet a life partner.
It seems strange though, that after reading for this gentleman for several years, he’d never mentioned his family. The subject only arose unprompted during the recent readings. This suggests that subconsciously he was ready to release that old baggage and to embrace positive change.
Because he was ready, we were discovering that it was important to now remove any deep-seated belief systems and blockages to his happiness, and for him to finally find a life partner who respected him, as opposed to the abusive relationships he’d known for years. I told him that he was like a tree shedding old bark!
This took me back years, to a time when I would help a former boyfriend, who was a horticulturist, with his seasonal work of pruning. He would climb the trees and prune those, and I learned to be quite the rose pruner at ground level.
Living Life – A Message From My Guides
Are you living the life of your dreams? Are you happy or content most of the time? Do you face challenges with confidence, or perhaps dread? Do you compare yourself with others and feel sad, miserable, or even angry at their success? Regardless of whether you feel as though you are at the bottom of the barrel, or soaring among the clouds, there is always room for improvement, and it is never too late to get started.
One of the biggest errors in judgment is all-or-nothing thinking. You do not need to drop everything in your life and start with a blank slate. Not only would that be impossible, it would be totally impractical. Your life so far is a culmination of all your experiences, education, career opportunities and family interactions, and cannot be wiped away like a chalkboard. Instead, you can, and should, start by making course corrections and taking baby steps in the right direction.
Set your intention first. Visualize the end result. Begin the process of redesigning your life gently and allow the universe to conspire in your favor over time. Whether you choose to go back to school, read a book, take a course, attend a conference, learn online or join a group, do something that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Do it because you want to, not because you have to.
Set realistic goals and deadlines. If you are juggling a family or career or both, be sensible in your expectations of yourself. Things take time and if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Do not expect overnight results. Life is not a success-only journey, however, each setback holds a series of invaluable lessons. Deal with each issue, learn from the experience and move on with confidence. Continue reading
How To Live A More Spiritually Aware Life
To lead a more spiritual, and therefore a happier and more fulfilled life, you do not need to develop a passion for incense, or hire a guru to assist you in going through some form of spiritual awakening. Instead, you may be comfortable with more down to earth approach.
Firstly, it is important to recognize that religion and spirituality are not necessarily the same things. Religion is just one form of spiritual practice. Spirituality itself is something that comes from within the individual.
Spiritual awareness is a sustained belief that there is much more to life than meets the eye, something greater than yourself, even though you have no evidence for it. Hold onto this belief or feeling, as it is very, very real!
One of the best ways to get in touch with your spirituality is to spend time in nature. It does not matter whether you live, in a town, city, or rural area, connecting with nature is imperative, as it will help to bring a sense of peace to your overworked mind, and it will uplift your spirit with its rejuvenating power. By doing so, it will assist with your spiritual development.
To become more spiritually aware it is also important to learn to control your inner dialogue. Becoming a more spiritual person involves monitoring your inner voice and making sure that your self-talk is healthy. Meditation can be particularly helpful in this respect, as well as recognizing any negative thought patterns or false beliefs that you may have.