Self-Help
Slow And Steady Is The Best Path To Lasting Love
In today’s superficial world of online dating, hookup apps and sexual promiscuity, it’s has become a daunting challenge to find a suitable partner who is genuinely ready for long-term commitment and relationship monogamy.
Also, in the dating scene, people typically wear masks, especially during the initial introduction. Everyone wants to give a good first impression and rarely want to discuss their truth, or past traumas. Dates also like to exaggerate or omit information, to make themselves sound more important or successful than they really are.
A few weeks into a new relationship is usually when the cracks start to show and the truth begins to float to the surface. For example, he comes from a good family and appears to be successful on paper, but he is emotionally fragile, or verbally abusive and narcissistic in relationships. Or, he claims he is totally single when you first meet him, but there’s actually someone else in his life and they’re not breaking that up anytime soon, because they have money invested together or are married.
We too often get so caught up in the fuzzy feeling and fantasy of a person possibly being ‘the one,’ that we forget to question if they are in alignment with what we truly need to add value to our life. Always listen to what a date is telling you, without sugar-coating it for yourself.
Through The Looking Glass
We tend to not see ourselves accurately. We too often choose to focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses, such as we perceive them to be. And I believe we are all guilty of this. I have not in all my years met anyone who was truly satisfied with themselves – until it was sometimes too late.
I was just as guilty of this as anyone else. My childhood was one that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy. I was abandoned by both parents when I was very young. I was raised by an aunt and uncle, who took pleasure in reminding me that my parents did not love me. My aunt also took every opportunity to beat the daylights out of me, while my uncle did nothing.
When I hit puberty, several older males in my ‘family’ began to stalk and harass me. I’d go into the kitchen and soon find myself backed up against a wall. Nobody believed me. Nobody did anything to stop it – not even when I was raped at 16 by a family friend’s son, who was deemed to be a “good boy” and “would never do anything like that.”
I could go on and on about all the horrible things that happened to me, but once I turned that momentous age of 16, and having had the experiences that I have had, I left my aunt and uncle’s home. I went to live with my boyfriend, his sister and their mom. When I left, my uncle dumped all my clothes on the front lawn.
Physical Fitness Advice From The Other Side
My grandma and I were very close while she was in this life. We spoke about many things and held many of the same views. She was a highly intuitive person. Many in the family didn’t know this about her, but she could accurately sense and feel things about people. She would also predict things before they happened.
Her mother was also a well-known intuitive – again something that her own children didn’t even know about her. My great grandma would predict gambling numbers for people, and they would often win! Grandma told me, “My mother would dream the numbers and people would pay her for this advice.”
Grandma also shared many other stories with me about her family growing up. Some of those stories still fascinate me and to this day I reminisce about the things she told me. I feel very lucky and blessed to have shared 47 years of my life with her. Grandma had children at a very young age, so thankfully she was able to see some of her grandchildren, and even some of her great grand children grow up.
We spent many summer vacations at my grandparents’ house. Just like me, my grandma loved to talk about ghosts, spirits, and all things paranormal. We would talk into the wee hours of the night. Some of the things she shared with me, she may not have shared with anyone else in the family. I guess she sensed in advance that I would need some of this information for my future calling.
You Can Stop Smoking With Hypnotherapy
There is currently much talk about the possibility of another cigarette tax increase in my state. The hardcore smokers are of course adamantly opposed. It’s going to cost them a lot more money to sustain their habit. The reasoning behind the proposed increase is that the smokers are costing everyone else more money, in terms long-term health care, so why not put the burden on the smokers through the cost of cigarettes.
Fortunately, this shift in public perception is inspiring more smokers to stop. More people are seeking hypnotherapy as a means to help them stop. As a hypnotherapist, I use the word stop and not quit, because quitting implies giving something up, while stopping means ending a dreadful habit and improving one’s life and long-term health.
Many doctors, researchers and hypnotists will tell you that hypnotherapy is the most successful way to stop smoking cigarettes. Reports state that up to 80% of people who use hypnosis actually stop, and about 50% or more remain non-smokers after one year. That’s double or more compared to any other method, such as using a nicotine patch or medication.
The potential side-effects of the other methods are also not pleasant and may include headaches, dizziness, lightheadedness, drowsiness, stomach upset, nausea, breathing difficulties, chest pain, irregular heartbeat, nervousness, anxiety, and tremors. With hypnotherapy, the only ‘side-effects’ are improved sleep, improved well-being, decreased stress, less pain, better quality of life, and increased self-esteem and self-confidence!
Time To Review Your Goals For The Year
We are reaching the midpoint of this year. As you look at our desires and intentions from the beginning of the year, life might have changed, and so have you, or not. Sometimes we start out with several new year’s resolutions (at least I know I do). Where are you now with those changes and intentions you planned at the beginning of the year… and are some adjustments possibly required?
When working with clients, who want to make changes, we look together at different areas of their life: career, relationships, self-care, finances, creativity, limiting beliefs, and addiction. We then find the one aspect that needs to be prioritized.
Focusing on too many things can become very distracting, and quite honestly overwhelming. I have found the most success comes from making a list of all the things we desire to change or improve, and then to choose one to start with, which we feel can make the most difference and be personally satisfying.
It’s not that the other areas are not worked on during the year. But by focusing on one area, it magically and positively touches the other areas of our lives. One thing can change everything else. And there is no good in beating ourselves up over where we are, if it’s not where we want to be. The door to freedom is through forgiveness and loving ourselves.
Change – The Sublime Season Of Necessity
We are part of a world that is continually changing. It’s happening in the very air we breathe. But why is change so difficult? For most people, creating major changes in their lives makes for a difficult and unsettling period. The reason being that attachment to familiar activities, along with the people, places, friends and family which have constituted one’s world thus far, increases the probability of not wanting to let go. But change is inevitable, and without it the pain endured by trying to remain unmoved is almost unbearable… growing in intensity with each day endured.
Nothing remains the same. Try as we might, we cannot continue to live in an unaltered world. Chaos is part of dissolving our imagined pristine worlds. Chaos fosters the creative change so vitally needed in our day-to-day living. In all actuality, people don’t change; seasons do. And, when the season of change is upon us, we are powerless in the face of it. To surrender totally remains the only option, if we are too prevent an extended, abysmal stay in an unwanted reality.
In order to stay alive, we must destroy the food we eat by consuming it, through the destructive process of assimilation. If we left it in an untouched form, by not digesting it and not having it changed into the chemical composition we need, we would literally starve to death. So too must we participate in the process of destroying some of the existing elements in our lives in order to continue living more fully. We can only procrastinate, hide, deny and resist for so long, until ‘creation of the new’ demands our response, with or without our approval.
Let Your Authentic Self Sparkle
Too many relationships are ruined by worrying about what other people think of us. We worry about what people will say, what people will think. I’ve seen many people disconnected from their loved ones in this way, with their only means of continued communication being social, or texting. They’re so afraid of expressing the things they should say, and so on.
If we could just remove our hardened shell and reveal who we really are, and allow our souls to sparkle, be authentic and keep it real with one another, I think we would connect perfectly.
In today’s world we are so brainwashed to think we have to be something we are not. I see so many people communicating, but putting on airs, acting like they are someone they are not, to try and impress, or to sell an idea, or sell themselves as someone else. It can take a toll on the body, mind, spirit. If only we could allow ourselves to show the world who we truly are, and to speak our truth, and sincerely connect with our loved ones, family members, friends, we would all have happier, richer lives.
Sometimes we stop being who we truly are, because the person we communicate with snaps at us, or has a problem with our opinions or how we view the world. When we share our thoughts and opinions freely, these people make us feel like we can’t be who we truly are around them.