Self-Help
Not A People Person, Or Pleaser, And That’s Okay!
I have had clients tell me that they feel something is wrong with them, because they don’t like to be around people. They prefer solitude.
Others feel disconnected when around people, or it makes them feel smothered. People make them feel drained, or they feel out of their element.
If you are someone that does not like to be around people, or feels a sense of disconnect when in large groups, or even just engaging with others, fear not! I have some very good news to share with you.
It is my hope and prayer that this information will help you to stop being so hard on yourself when it comes to your social preferences. You do not need to feel guilty for not wanting to slap on a “happy face” and pretend to be someone you are not.
There is nothing wrong with you in my opinion. There is a simple reason why you don’t enjoy being around other people so much. The reason is that you have been to this planet many times before and basically you have “been here done this,” as it were.
Okay, so you don’t feel like being around your fellow humans. What to do? Tell yourself this, “it is okay that I don’t want to engage with others.” Then tell yourself, “I love myself just the way I am and now see the beauty in me that I never did.
But instead of judging myself, or thinking there is something wrong with me, from this day forward I promise to allow myself to embrace the freedom of placing myself where I feel comfortable, and free, and at peace.” Continue reading
Staying Calm Is Often The Key To Inner Peace
Sometimes the emotional charge of something as simple as a misunderstood comment, or a statement taken out of context, can throw even the most level-headed person into a tailspin.
Developing a general demeanor of good humor can assist you in dealing with some of these most difficult, embarrassing or awkward situations encountered in life.
Everyone handles things differently, doing the best they can with the information they have at the time.
Although, generally, the goal is to come to a better understanding and reach common ground, sometimes this takes much more time, effort and compromise than expected.
Although it is important to resolve an issue and clear the air, if possible, it is equally important to put each issue into context. Years from the date of the affront, will the issue be remembered at all and, if so, will it have anywhere near the importance that it did at the time?
Certain issues will never be forgotten, however, they can often be forgiven for the sake of all parties involved.
Long after the dust has settled, though, some people are inclined to continue to ruminate and replay negative scenarios over and over again.
This only serves to feed the flames of injustice and keeps the anger front of mind, long after the offending party has moved on physically and/or emotionally. As a result, rehashing the past can seem to perpetuate an aura of general negativity in your life.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
Grief Is A Sacred Gift Of Soul Experience
Long ago, I yearned for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life. And the door opened. It led me within.
Now, I long for a deep wound to be healed, and again I feel the door opening. I am prepared for the changes that come each time the door opens, and welcome them with profound gratitude.
I’ve come to understand that these “doors” don’t always show up looking bright and shiny and obviously spiritual. Sometimes they arrive disguised as heartbreak, loss, and the kind of grief that knocks the breath right out of your body. It doesn’t feel like a doorway then. It feels like a wall. A dead end. A great, echoing “Why?”
Last year had been a particularly difficult time for me. So much grief! Layers of it. Old grief that I thought I had already handled. New grief that came out of nowhere. Grief that didn’t even seem to have a clear name or story attached to it. I just had waves of sadness and loneliness that would rise up and spill over when I least expected it.
All part of the process, of course. But when you’re actually in it, that is not always comforting. I remember wondering, sometimes out loud:
When will I get back into the universal flow again?
When will the spiritual things I need for my Journey manifest?
When will this heaviness lift?
I wasn’t asking in a demanding way, more like a child pressing her face against the window, looking out at life, feeling like everyone else was moving forward while I was sitting in slow motion. My faith never left, but it got very, very quiet.
Thorns Are Only There To Protect The Rose
Each time we turn to unnecessary conflict, things turn into chaos. It stirs up the aura around each person involved. The ripples of anger and hurt affects everyone involved.
This doesn’t mean we can’t ever stand up for ourselves, or disagree. In fact, statistics prove that couples who never argue most often don’t last in their relationships.
A good storm now and then can clear up things and allow us opportunity to express the things we have been suppressing.
But often we hold it in for too long, and then it blows up. When this happens, the drama is often worse than it needed to be. We say things we later regret. We are even surprised by some of the things we say when we get this upset! Where did that come from?
Then, as time goes on, we want to make amends. Yet, those words caused a hurt that never really leaves. Sometimes an apology is no longer enough.
I know that it is hard to do, but it is mostly for the best not to stir the pot when it is already too late. The wisest way to handle issues is to bring them up early on. Talk and work them out before they blow up.
Love is like a rose. Roses are so beautiful, with their sweet smell, the velvet petals, brilliant colors, and heady scent. It overwhelms the senses.
Give Yourself Permission To Be Happy!
My life would be great if only… I had more money… he would come back to me.. I can find a better job… I can reach my goal weight.
How many times have you heard such statements? How many times have you told yourself something like this? Is it truly the answer to lasting happiness? What if there was a way to train your brain to accept life and live your best in the meantime?
As a hypnotherapist, my experience has been that when any suggestion is put into the mind, the subconscious will accept the information, whether it is true or false.
Whatever a person chooses to tell themselves enough times becomes their truth. The information becomes a habit to believe the suggestion. Some habits are good and some not so good. A bad habit needs to be replaced with a good one.
Why not take all the positive steps needed to live your best in the meantime… while waiting for the wishes to come true. There are many ways to retrain the brain, just as there are many ways to travel to a destination.
Some people like the fastest route, while other like the scenic route, in order to see the sights along the way. It doesn’t really matter what route you take. What does matter is that you truly have the belief that you can reach the destination, and allow yourself to enjoy the ride in the meantime.
Ask Spirit For Patience This Holiday Season
The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for some of us, it can also be a time of tension, distress, and intense emotions.
Instead of being a time of gratitude, love, and connection, for some of us the holidays mark the resurfacing of old family conflicts, unresolved tensions, and the weight of others’ overwhelming expectations or criticisms.
These challenges often lead to frustration, sadness, anger, or feelings of being overwhelmed, turning what should be a time of love and belonging into one that underscores where our relationships with loved ones are most strained.
At this point, asking spirit or your higher power to help you cultivate the virtue of patience becomes a powerful way to stay grounded and centered.
Patience isn’t just about enduring difficult moments; it’s about being aware of those moments and choosing to respond with grace and dignity rather than impulsively. When tensions rise — perhaps during a family dinner where conversations may become heated or awkward — it is easy to fall back on old patterns and habitual responses. Asking for spiritual support and protection in these moments, however, can provide a higher perspective and an empowered response.
Whether it’s through a silent prayer, a few deep breaths, whispering your favorite mantra, or simply making a conscious call for help in your mind, spiritual presence can help you pause, step back, ground and center, and approach the situation calmly and with more compassion — for yourself and others.