worry
Take Negative Emotions All The Way Home
When life gets tough or something happens to upset me, whether it be big or small, I make it a point to become very quiet and mindful. I do this to get clear, so that I can see all sides of a situation, as well as stay open to learning any possible spiritual lessons that are being offered.
Typically, there’s a strong emotion linked to what has occurred. If I can allow it to be there in a calm way, I can start to see the situation from a clearer perspective.
If the situation involves being hurt, for example, I take some time out – long enough to not hastily defend myself or problem-solve. Doing this creates an opening where the Divine can step in and take over.
I like to think of it as having a weight on me and imagining a group of cherub angels coming along to lift the heavy burden emotions I’m experiencing. They then take it from me and fly away. Though this is just a visualization, there is great relief at times in turning situations over to a higher power.
I have noticed, as I get older, that certain things that used to bother me so much, and would take weeks or months to get over, I now release in just a day, or even a couple of hours. This is because I no longer allow myself to be overwhelmed by the emotion in the moment.
I believe what helps to accomplish this is going beyond the difficult emotion, into a realm or a land less frequented. I refer to is as “taking it all the way home.” What I mean by this is to examine what it is I am most afraid of.
Aromatherapy For Stress Relief
I have been using essential oils for many years. In the 1990s, I made it a point to study them and become certified. At that time aromatherapy was already very popular in Europe, where it was seen as a viable adjunct therapy. Science has gained more insight on the impact of scent on the brain, our emotions and our well-being.
Stress originates from the limbic system, and our sense of smell is the only one that is linked to this part of the brain. Before we might even become aware of the effects an essential oil or fragrance may have on us, the molecules from the essential oils we smell are already at work on our limbic lobe.
Successful real estate agents know the power of smell, and often suggest you bake some chocolate chip cookies, or brew some fresh coffee before an open house, or simply simmer cloves, cinnamon, and orange peels in a small pot of boiling water, to evoke a homey, welcoming smell.
Scents also trigger memories. A scent from your childhood, that created a warm, secure, peaceful feeling, is something you might want to re-create with essential oils.
When the mind relaxes, the body follows. We all experience stress at times, and although essential oils cannot magically make a situation disappear, one may benefit from the relaxation effects that aromatherapy offers.
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Dragging A ‘Knapsack Of Irrelevance’
Reading for a client recently revealed her toxic work environment, and how one co-worker in particular was making things very unpleasant for her at the office. It reminded me of a short-lived, but very unpleasant working situation I found myself in years ago.
I was scheduled to work with a woman for a couple of weeks who had an extremely negative attitude and was having a profound effect on me. I shared this unpleasant situation with my boyfriend at the time, and his view was that I was just carrying around a ‘knapsack of irrelevance.’
I was so upset! How could he even think that? However, he did give me some food for thought when he then also said, “Just consider how you will think about this situation in a few years from now. How much will it matter then?”
Well, that did help to put things into perspective. And guess what? Just as he predicted, I forgot all about it until this recent reading with my client! Yes, he was correct. After all the years, remembering that brief work situation made me realize that it never had any major relevance or importance to my life. Stressing and worrying about it was indeed just a waste of time and energy.
I met this particular ex-boyfriend in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). He was very well-versed in the twelve steps and other tools helpful in achieving and maintaining sobriety. He also gave me an Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet, which I have to this day, which reads:
Cultivating Divine Patience
During difficult times it can be challenging to quickly change our circumstances, or get out of the eye of storm, because there is often a full plate of responsibilities to already deal with, like work, children and also self-care.
By learning to surrender some of worry and control to a higher power, you can begin to find inner harmony and cultivate divine patience which means you allow things to unfold in their own time.
Too often we want immediate gratification and answers right away, which can create added stress and anxiety in our interactions with others, since our focus is on the results instead of the process.
We forget that many times the answers are already within and all we have to do to access it, is to listen and become more receptive to what our inner voice is really trying to tell us.
The best way to tune into this is by elevating the environment you’re in by removing any negative influences or distractions that are causing imbalance. Even the act of cleaning or reorganizing a section can begin to shift our perspective, and create a sacred space for healing.
Afterwards, you can begin to get centered, quiet the mind and ask the spiritual realm what it wants you to know about your circumstances, so you can take the best course of action.
Looking Within – A Message From My Guides
As the holiday season starts to ramp up around the world, everything becomes more and more hectic. Travel plans are made early. Gifts are purchased. Party invitations are extended. New outfits are bought. Menus are set. Baking is done. It is a wondrous time of year, to give thanks and to show appreciation to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.
Under these circumstances, it is understandable that stress abounds too. For some people, in addition to all the excitement, there is a real feeling of obligation. The expectations of others can be overwhelming and, of course, it is impossible to please everyone. There is also the feeling that time is running too short to accomplish everything on the to-do list. Demands on your time can seem endless and unreasonable.
For others, the holiday season can be a very quiet and somewhat lonely time. Old memories can be triggered. Losses can become more heightened and a sense of sadness can prevail. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days get shorter and sometimes much colder, so sunlight isn’t as prevalent to perk you up and lighten your spirit.
Whether you are run off your feet or living a more solitary lifestyle, we recommend that you make some time to look within. A daily meditation habit can do wonders to give you a sense of peace, calm and gratitude. A quiet mind at the start of your day can prepare you for the remainder of each day as it unfolds. A peaceful feeling can help you to put things into perspective so as not to worry, overreact or panic unnecessarily.
Everyone has a ‘little narrator’ inside their head who is constantly chatting up a storm. If this little chatterbox was a real person sitting with you in your living room or in the car, you would eventually ask him or her to stop talking for a while so that you could think, read, watch TV, listen to music, converse, drive, and so on. However, because everyone has grown quite accustomed to this little tag-along giving constant commentary throughout the day, you carry on in spite of the continual interruptions.
The Power Of Mindfulness
Many spiritual and metaphysical teachers focus much attention on spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness. The goal of these practices is to allow our consciousness to shift away from the past and the future, to focus instead on the present moment.
It is important to understand that the past is over. There is nothing taking place in the past any longer. This is important to understand if someone has a habit of rehashing the past in their mind. It doesn’t matter if someone is focusing on positive past experiences or negative events. Too much attention on the past is never useful.
The future is another area where people expend a lot of mental attention. Fantasy and worry are the two most common focuses when obsessing over the future. However, there is no amount of fantasy or worry that can ever make someone’s life better.
When we expend too much of our energy on the past or future, we are sacrificing the precious present moment. For this reason many spiritual teachings and traditions encourage mindfulness and meditation. These practices allow us to recognize our daily thought patterns and help us gain an understanding of where our attention is focused.
The present is the only moment that is real and that truly matters. This is where everything is happening – in the now. This is also the only moment where you have any real power.