News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

anxiety

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Dealing With Depression

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhy are depressed people often considered a ‘downer’? To feel depressed is one of the most scorned, stigmatized emotions. Why, one has to wonder? I believe part of the reason is that people are uncomfortable being around someone who suffers from depression. Again, why? Are they maybe so unstable in their own façade of happiness that being around a depressed person will somehow set them off, tipping the balance in their fragile construction of superficial happiness?

Maybe the discomfort is due to others feeling compelled to ‘help’… only to end up feeling angry, frustrated or helpless around the depressed person, because they just don’t know how to be of any real assistance. This attempt at ‘helping’ is usually aimed at getting rid of the depression, but in truth an important part of real help is simple acceptance.

If one is truly centered, it usually does not matter if another is depressed or angry. Dealing with someone else’s depression is simply like accepting the weather. You wear a raincoat if you have to go out, or you simply stay inside and wait for the storm to settle.

Various genetic, social and environmental factors can affect mood and cause depression. Poverty, abusive relationships, family violence, addiction, toxic environments, including food additives and air pollution (including off-gassing), can all be factors in causing depression, as well as weight gain, anxiety, sexual dysfunction, and so on.

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An Attitude Of Gratitude

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comI find that people who don’t appreciate what they have, often have their gifts and blessings challenged, or even lose it. And obsessing about what we don’t have can lead to depression and anxiety. It certainly does not help you to attract more into your life.

So, consider shifting from thinking about what you don’t have, and what you want and goals, and instead try an ‘attitude of gratitude.’ This is a dramatic shift. Changing from thinking about what we don’t have to instead feeling grateful for what we do have, what we have been given, and what we have already achieved, changes what we attract.

This shift in thinking does not mean you can’t have goals, it just means you don’t feel an emptiness associated with those goals. Nothing is missing. There is just more to be gained. You already have the sundae… it doesn’t need that cherry on top. A cherry would just be a nice bonus!

I’ve seen people become so obsessed with a timeline for getting married, for example, that they soon did get married… but to the wrong person! The universe knows your true destiny. It knows what you need and when. Try to be patient and trust the flow.

Putting 90% of your focus on feeling grateful for what you do have and 10% on what you would still like to obtain, will completely change your outlook on life, as well as your physical and emotional health.
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Learning To Say Yes To Yourself

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.

But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourselfSelf-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.

Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.

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Friendship And The Empath

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFriends are a wonderful addition to our lives. In some cases they even take the place of family of origin, and become our chosen family. A healthy friendship is a balanced one – give and take, trust, loyalty, acceptance and truth delivered with compassion. Unfortunately, for the empath, friendship can also be treacherous territory, sometimes rife with debbie downers, energy thieves, and psychic vampires.

There are different levels of friendship, from casual social friendships to those we call ‘best friends.’ These best friends are ones with whom we feel safe sharing our deepest secrets, fears, hopes and dreams.

Social media has made it much easier in recent years to connect with friends. With a click of the keyboard a new friend can be made or an old acquaintance rekindled. Social media sites have even recognized the importance of providing the choice of putting people into the appropriate category, such as people from work or close friends. People can be also unfriended, blocked or reported if they are out of bounds, and what is seen publicly by our friends can be limited.

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Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFamily dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.

For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.

It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.

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Overcoming Fears And Phobias

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comMany of us have something that we fear in life – in some cases to the extent that it becomes a phobia. We have no real reason to allow it, but phobias can control our lives. Yes, encounters with bridges, or snakes, or needles, can bring people to their knees, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Some people allow phobias to control their lives by allowing a memory of a feeling to guide their free will – to control how they approach a situation in daily life. Sometimes even hearing the name of the dreaded object or situation is enough to set off a nightmarish reaction.

Phobias bind us to a feeling from the past and we allow the knot to bind tighter and tighter each time we reinforce its control by avoiding it, or by allowing it to influence our actions.

Where do phobias come from? How do they differ from a fear? And what can one do to change it?

Fear is what we feel when we are in the presence of real danger. Fear is the feeling associated with our body preparing itself to either fight the source of the danger, or escape from it.

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Victims And True Feelings

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comWhat is the difference between being a victim and feeling like a victim? Well, the first is identifying as a victim and making decisions from that base as a way of life. The other is going into the wounds of whatever happened to them, where they were a victim, and feeling those feelings, exploring them, processing them and allowing them to be released, as a part of the journey of healing.

Healing is waking up, coming out of denial. You finally admit you were hurt, abused, abandoned, raped, lied to, robbed, beaten up and that yes, it hurt. Yes, there was terrible fear and a loss of self, a loss of faith, depression, anxiety, and so much more. This stage is shocking, and it hurts. Your ego is demolished as you finally cave into the realizations and emotions that emerge as you face the truth about what happened to you, instead of minimizing it, explaining it away, or muscling through it.

Grieving, Raging And Learning

You will inevitably need to move through the grief cycle in order to find hope and healing. This process can take two years and longer. Many people will not understand that you are grieving, since you haven’t lost anyone to death. This process is not linear. It twists and turns through loops that overlap, moves forward, and then falls back again. Continue reading

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