worry
Dragging A ‘Knapsack Of Irrelevance’
Reading for a client recently revealed her toxic work environment, and how one co-worker in particular was making things very unpleasant for her at the office. It reminded me of a short-lived, but very unpleasant working situation I found myself in years ago.
I was scheduled to work with a woman for a couple of weeks who had an extremely negative attitude and was having a profound effect on me. I shared this unpleasant situation with my boyfriend at the time, and his view was that I was just carrying around a ‘knapsack of irrelevance.’
I was so upset! How could he even think that? However, he did give me some food for thought when he then also said, “Just consider how you will think about this situation in a few years from now. How much will it matter then?”
Well, that did help to put things into perspective. And guess what? Just as he predicted, I forgot all about it until this recent reading with my client! Yes, he was correct. After all the years, remembering that brief work situation made me realize that it never had any major relevance or importance to my life. Stressing and worrying about it was indeed just a waste of time and energy.
I met this particular ex-boyfriend in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). He was very well-versed in the twelve steps and other tools helpful in achieving and maintaining sobriety. He also gave me an Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet, which I have to this day, which reads:
Cultivating Divine Patience
During difficult times it can be challenging to quickly change our circumstances, or get out of the eye of storm, because there is often a full plate of responsibilities to already deal with, like work, children and also self-care.
By learning to surrender some of worry and control to a higher power, you can begin to find inner harmony and cultivate divine patience which means you allow things to unfold in their own time.
Too often we want immediate gratification and answers right away, which can create added stress and anxiety in our interactions with others, since our focus is on the results instead of the process.
We forget that many times the answers are already within and all we have to do to access it, is to listen and become more receptive to what our inner voice is really trying to tell us.
The best way to tune into this is by elevating the environment you’re in by removing any negative influences or distractions that are causing imbalance. Even the act of cleaning or reorganizing a section can begin to shift our perspective, and create a sacred space for healing.
Afterwards, you can begin to get centered, quiet the mind and ask the spiritual realm what it wants you to know about your circumstances, so you can take the best course of action.
Looking Within – A Message From My Guides
As the holiday season starts to ramp up around the world, everything becomes more and more hectic. Travel plans are made early. Gifts are purchased. Party invitations are extended. New outfits are bought. Menus are set. Baking is done. It is a wondrous time of year, to give thanks and to show appreciation to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.
Under these circumstances, it is understandable that stress abounds too. For some people, in addition to all the excitement, there is a real feeling of obligation. The expectations of others can be overwhelming and, of course, it is impossible to please everyone. There is also the feeling that time is running too short to accomplish everything on the to-do list. Demands on your time can seem endless and unreasonable.
For others, the holiday season can be a very quiet and somewhat lonely time. Old memories can be triggered. Losses can become more heightened and a sense of sadness can prevail. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days get shorter and sometimes much colder, so sunlight isn’t as prevalent to perk you up and lighten your spirit.
Whether you are run off your feet or living a more solitary lifestyle, we recommend that you make some time to look within. A daily meditation habit can do wonders to give you a sense of peace, calm and gratitude. A quiet mind at the start of your day can prepare you for the remainder of each day as it unfolds. A peaceful feeling can help you to put things into perspective so as not to worry, overreact or panic unnecessarily.
Everyone has a ‘little narrator’ inside their head who is constantly chatting up a storm. If this little chatterbox was a real person sitting with you in your living room or in the car, you would eventually ask him or her to stop talking for a while so that you could think, read, watch TV, listen to music, converse, drive, and so on. However, because everyone has grown quite accustomed to this little tag-along giving constant commentary throughout the day, you carry on in spite of the continual interruptions.
The Power Of Mindfulness
Many spiritual and metaphysical teachers focus much attention on spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness. The goal of these practices is to allow our consciousness to shift away from the past and the future, to focus instead on the present moment.
It is important to understand that the past is over. There is nothing taking place in the past any longer. This is important to understand if someone has a habit of rehashing the past in their mind. It doesn’t matter if someone is focusing on positive past experiences or negative events. Too much attention on the past is never useful.
The future is another area where people expend a lot of mental attention. Fantasy and worry are the two most common focuses when obsessing over the future. However, there is no amount of fantasy or worry that can ever make someone’s life better.
When we expend too much of our energy on the past or future, we are sacrificing the precious present moment. For this reason many spiritual teachings and traditions encourage mindfulness and meditation. These practices allow us to recognize our daily thought patterns and help us gain an understanding of where our attention is focused.
The present is the only moment that is real and that truly matters. This is where everything is happening – in the now. This is also the only moment where you have any real power.
Embracing The Night
At night we should be able to break free from our daytime stresses. After all, we aren’t really expecting someone to send us an email or receive a phone call when we are asleep – theoretically at least.
Nevertheless, far too many of us toss and turn during the night, worrying about the day ahead and possibly making mountains out of molehills along the way. I know I have done this far too many times myself and you, dear reader, probably have done so also? However, you could gain the maximum calming effects of the late hours by considering the following:
Take A Walk
Go for a walk with your friend, just after the sun has set. You do not need to engage in any conversation and do make sure to set your phone to silent mode. Stroll, breathe deeply and take in all the sounds of the night along the way.
Doing this can induce relaxation, even in particularly stressed individuals. What do you hear? Is it frogs, crickets, some nocturnal bird, or even the noise of traffic in the distance? All of this reflects that life is still going on, and making a mental note of these sounds can be very relaxing indeed.
You could also take the opportunity to really explore the natural world at night, as the light of the silvery moon really does show us Mother Nature’s remarkable beauty at this particular time.
Do pay attention to all the smells and sounds the night time brings, take note of the lovely nocturnal animals you see. It will remind you that even on the darkest night, life has not stopped and still has so much beauty and wonder to show you.
Change Is A Spiritual Blessing
Changes can happen at any time in your life. It is often spontaneous, but it can also be triggered by major life events, such as the loss of a partner, spouse, or anyone that you love or care about. Whatever it may be, change is what we’re hit with in these times, and it can be so scary.
We often fear change or moving on. We enjoy changing our environment or lifestyle, or letting go of the memories, but change also has so many possibilities! Sometimes it’s actually what you have been waiting for, but we hold ourselves back.
No matter how much you try to avoid it, or fear it, change is constantly taking place in and around us. Our souls are always evolving, whether we want it to, or not. We must embrace this and open ourselves to it, because change can be very positive. For example, when you know that you must leave a bad relationship, because it is toxic, or when you need to move out of a home to downsize, because it makes better financial sense.
Starting over, making new friends, being happy, this is all part of change. Sometimes we have to learn to let go of things, to have more meaning and happiness in our lives. No one should ever force you into change against your free will, but many of us also try to prevent change from happening, keeping things the way they are, because it is convenient. But then they don’t grow personally, neither do they spiritually evolve.
There Are No Clocks In The Spirit World
I attended a lecture at the Arthur Findlay College of Psychic Research in the United Kingdom many years ago, during which I recall the speaker saying, “There are no clocks and watches in the spirit world.”
He explained further that those of us who do psychic readings must bear in mind that as much as our spirit helpers do their best to give us some indication of time-frames, timing can actually be very tricky.
He also emphasized how we tend to get obsessed with time in our world. While we are constantly racing against the clock, our ‘inner states’ change over time. Sometimes, we may feel that we are beating the clock, and it feels empowering for a while, but there often comes moments when we wish we had more time to ‘just be’ and to feel connected to the very source of our being. To truly feel the state we are in.
When we are fully aware of the state we are in, for example the beginning of depression, we are able to process it and deal with it, instead of ‘chasing our tails’ until our mind and body eventually forces us to stop… and really feel the discomfort!
More importantly, when we return to the spirit world one day, our environment there will not be determined by time, but by the state we are in when we leave our current physical body.