childhood
Through The Looking Glass
We tend to not see ourselves accurately. We too often choose to focus on our shortcomings and weaknesses, such as we perceive them to be. And I believe we are all guilty of this. I have not in all my years met anyone who was truly satisfied with themselves – until it was sometimes too late.
I was just as guilty of this as anyone else. My childhood was one that I wouldn’t have wished on my worst enemy. I was abandoned by both parents when I was very young. I was raised by an aunt and uncle, who took pleasure in reminding me that my parents did not love me. My aunt also took every opportunity to beat the daylights out of me, while my uncle did nothing.
When I hit puberty, several older males in my ‘family’ began to stalk and harass me. I’d go into the kitchen and soon find myself backed up against a wall. Nobody believed me. Nobody did anything to stop it – not even when I was raped at 16 by a family friend’s son, who was deemed to be a “good boy” and “would never do anything like that.”
I could go on and on about all the horrible things that happened to me, but once I turned that momentous age of 16, and having had the experiences that I have had, I left my aunt and uncle’s home. I went to live with my boyfriend, his sister and their mom. When I left, my uncle dumped all my clothes on the front lawn.
The Easter Angel And The Golden Ticket
It was around Easter, one year in the early 1970s, when I had a profound angel encounter. I was playing outdoors with many other children my age. We were eagerly running through a large open field looking for Easter eggs.
Well, they were not exactly real eggs. If you are from my generation, you might remember those plastic eggs that would break open to reveal inside them candy, colorful stickers and small, cheap bracelets. Some also contained little pieces of paper with trivia or inspirational messages. I remember thinking the words on the paper were more valuable to me than the tiny Tootsie Rolls or Hershey Bars.
On this occasion, I soon had a full basket and was sitting on the ground opening up my eggs and stuffing my goodies in the plastic bag we were all given. We were to return the eggs, so they could be recycled.
There was a very angelic looking women at the Easter egg hunt. She was helping some of the children find their eggs. Whenever they seemed to be having a difficult time, she would go to them and say something encouraging, or would help to cheer them up in some way. I kept my eye on her since we arrived, as she stood out from everyone else.
Later, while standing in line to return my empty eggs, she knelt down in front of me and asked, “What did you get?” I opened my bag and showed her all the candy and goodies. Then I lifted my hand and said, “This piece of paper is my favorite.” It was a golden slip of paper which read: It is wise to not put all your time, energy and love in one basket.”
The Past Can Prevent Your Future
Why am I stuck? Why am I not advancing? Why can’t I find love? Why is money never coming to me and always flowing out from me? These are questions I struggled with for a long time in my own life.
I delved deep into many aspects of life design, manifesting change, the Law of Attraction, deliberate creating, and personal growth and reinvention. I have watched, listened and been active in more workshops, online webinars and online learning in this genre than most will ever do in a lifetime. I have read the books and taken many notes. I have made the visions boards and spoken the affirmations. But no matter where I turned, I was always confronted with actual reality versus trying to ‘positive think and believe’ something else. How can we believe we are destined to be something different or better simply by speaking it…or visualizing it? The truth is, it isn’t that simple.
In my search for answers I have also watched others who have participated in the forums, seminars and workshops, and actually achieved something significant in their life. And it has been my observation that the people who have truly risen above their circumstances and achieved their dreams, are the ones that did the deeper inner work.
Nine Lemons In A Bowl
You will always find a bowl filled with exactly nine lemons in the center of my kitchen island. It is a labor of love keeping that bowl filled to this exact number, but the happiness which fills my soul with just a quick glance at them, makes all the effort worthwhile – because I know they are doing so much for me physically, mentally and emotionally.
So, why lemons and why exactly nine? In Feng Shui, lemons are believed to help clear away bad karma and their bright yellow color is a symbol of optimism and happiness. Also, in Feng Shui, the number nine is considered to be the luckiest, as it represents wealth, accomplishment, and attaining personal goals. Why would I not want to welcome these wonderful attributes into my home with such a gift from nature?
I love the pop of color those nine lemons bring to my home and they have actually become a permanent part of the decor. Of course, it does help that I happen to have a large lemon tree in my backyard. From December to April lemons are available in abundance here in Arizona!
Lemons are also a great source of nutrition. They are a natural antioxidant and great source of Vitamin C. Lemons helps to detoxify the body and clear away negative energies, to bring balance to your health and your soul. They also create a positive, uplifting environment.
The Akashic Halls Of Learning
Many of us are seeking to clear out residual emotional blockages from earlier life experiences, as well as from our past lives, not to mention seeking the deeper meaning of our lives. But not many know that this process depends on the Akashic records.
I first became aware of the Akashic records in my childhood, when it came up in a conversation with my father during one of our many walks. On these walks, he’d often open up about his views on the mystical side of life. For some reason, he sensed I would be open to and unafraid of ‘other worldly’ topics of conversation. I would often journal things my dad told me soon after we arrived home. I was a very lonely kid during that particular period of my life, and I now realize that the loneliness was part of my chosen life lesson. We’d moved from the bustle of a busy town to a remote home in the countryside of the Canary Islands. I had a lot of time to myself and was often alone to journal and ponder the notes I’d made on life’s mysteries.
At that time my dad was into reading all the Lobsang Rampa books he could lay his hands on. The particular book he was reading at the time dealt with the Akashic records, or “Halls of Learning” as my dad liked to call it. My dad explained how the Akashic records contain all the knowledge of absolutely everything that has ever happened in this world. “Every world has its own Akashic records, in much the same way that countries outside of our own have their own radio programs,” I remember him saying.
What Your Face May Reveal
The art of palmistry divines the hidden meanings in the shapes and patterns of our hands. But did you know that reading the face is also a psychic art? From ancient times face reading, or physiognomy, has been used as a method of divination to gain insight into personality, individual gifts, and personal relationships.
The face, like the hands, can be read in multiple ways. For someone just beginning, start with the basics. The left side represents the person’s basic temperament (outward) where the right side reveals the emotions (inward). If we divide the face into thirds, the top third is the past and childhood, the middle third is the present, and the bottom third the future, as well as hidden motives. The part of the face which appears most prominent will usually indicate where the person’s thoughts linger the most.
Three basic face shapes (round, square, and oval) are strong indicators of a core personality. Round faces reflect a person who is outgoing and artistic, but may be unreliable. Those with square faces are often strong-willed and confident, but may struggle with anger and frustration. And oval faces tend to belong to those who are intelligent and optimistic if a little unfocused.
Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics
Family dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.
For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.
It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.