authenticity
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
A Spiritual Life Must Be An Authentic Life
While attending a spiritual retreat, my friend, who is also a psychic medium, suddenly said, “You see the woman over there?”
“Yes,” I said. “Who is she? Do you know her?”
“I do,” she replied. “She’s a poser.”
Well, I was not familiar with the term ‘poser,’ so I responded, “What are you talking about? What is a poser?”
She then explained that the woman in question claims to have been a working as a psychic medium for 30 years, with lots of credentials and certifications from different organizations. However, my friend was at another convention just the previous year, where she had met this lady. And at the time, she told my friend that she had only recently discovered that she was psychic!
“That, my friend,” she concluded, “is what I call a ‘poser.”
Well, this was a stark reminder for me. In this ‘post-truth era’ we now live in, it seems anyone can claim to be an expert in anything, as long they can talk a good game. Watching the nightly news just last week, there was a report of a ‘doctor’ who finally got caught after he had been practicing medicine for years without the necessary credentials.
The notions of people being ‘posers’ reminds me of what some of my clients have been saying about online dating apps they have tried. There are many posers on all the social media platforms. People lie about their age, profession, relationship status, and so on. Some also use fake profile photos.
Increase Your Power And Influence With Charisma
Charisma is a skill that can have a profound impact on our personal and professional lives. It is often wrongly assumed that charisma is a personality trait or talent that some people are born with. The truth is charisma is a learned behavior and skill that can be developed by anyone.
Charisma is the magnetic ability to attract, charm, and persuade others with our words and actions. The term originates from the Greek khárisma, which means ‘favor freely given,’ or ‘gift of grace,’ because the ancients believed that possessing this quality was a divine gift bestowed only upon those who were favored by the gods.
It is generally associated with people who are confident, engaging, and influential. By cultivating charisma, we become more effective at reaching and connecting with others, which can be invaluable in life.
Whether we are seeking to build stronger, healthier personal relationships, foster better professional connections, or make more friends, having a strong presence and the ability to engage with others is a key factor for success. Charisma is not about being arrogant, manipulative, or insincere. Rather it is about being authentic and genuine, while also being able to express ourselves in a way that resonates with others.
Charismatic people are skilled communicators who are able to listen actively, empathize with others, and express themselves clearly and persuasively. They are also able to project confidence, enthusiasm, and positivity, which can be infectious and uplifting to those around them.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
Unwrap The Gift Of Your True Self
As you step into the new year, consider giving yourself the gift of your true self and start living your best life. Your authentic self is a one-of-a-kind, priceless jewel that is unlike anyone or anything else in the entire universe.
Just as one would unwrap a gift to celebrate a special occasion, we can gently unwrap the layers of our original soul self. While our superficial ego layers may act as a cocoon providing a false sense of protection, it also creates a barrier that blocks out our dreams.
Removing our defensive walls can be overwhelming, especially as we uncover doubts, insecurities and fears rooted in unpleasant past experiences and traumas. We all have emotional scars and insecurities that we quietly harbor.
However, to live our best life we must resist the urge to live like an unopened gift wrapped up in a box – even when it feels like the safest space. We must call on our angels, spirit guides, and loved ones in spirit to help remove the outer layers that are keeping us from our best life.
While opening yourself up to living an authentic life might feel daunting, even frightening to embrace, putting ourselves out there is necessary to create the life we truly deserve. The shift does not have to be big and bold; our transformation can come incrementally in small steps. Smaller, more attainable steps towards change will ultimately cultivate much grand, more significant outcomes.
The essential component to transforming one’s life for the better is to carefully and honestly assess where change may be needed. This way we can identify the promising, successful aspects of our life, as well as those with growth opportunities requiring adjustments and greater authenticity.
The Ideal Starting Crystals For Beginners
Crystals and gemstones are a popular resource in modern metaphysical practices, mysticism, and alternative spirituality. It can be used in various powerful ways, including healing, energy protection, meditation, prayer, manifesting, divination, psychic reading, and channeling.
Crystals are versatile and useful in enhancing one’s spiritual practice or energy work, but there are so many to choose from that it can difficult to know where to start.
Three of my favorite crystals that I recommend for beginners to get started with are amethyst, rose quartz and black tourmaline. These three crystals are affordable and easy to find, so they are ideal to start with if you wish to explore using crystals to expand your spiritual practice.
Amethyst
Amethyst is the ideal stone to start with because it has a gentle energy that almost anyone can tolerate without being overwhelmed by its influence. It is a fantastic stone to help you get in touch with your intuition and find your calm center. Amethyst’s calming energy especially enhances meditation and dreamwork.
Amethyst is associated with the crown chakra. It heightens our spiritual and personal awareness, which in turn helps us to self-reflect and evaluate more honestly where we need to make adjustments in our beliefs, behavior, and perspectives. Amethyst thus supports us in maintaining clarity in our self-reflection, which is a vital first step in a spiritual journey of higher consciousness and personal enlightenment.
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.