release
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with self. And the cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust. Unfortunately, it is easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because all of us have or will make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves; a job opportunity eludes us; or a friendship fractures beyond repair. We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we may begin to question our own abilities, our dreams, and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event we label a failure the doubt in our own judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can be a vicious one.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t, I know I should have done…,” then stop and choose to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
The Life Lesson Of ‘Making Plans’
‘Making plans’ has been a life lesson for me. Whenever I make serious plans, they always tend to fall through. Something usually comes up, or it just doesn’t work out.
It has been at times almost comical. I even started telling people, whenever they invite me to attend an event, or go somewhere with them, or sign up for something important, that I plan on possibly doing this with them, but I am not going to say it is definite….because then it probably won’t work out.
In time I came to realize that the Universe was teaching me, over and over again, to not make any major plans. The lesson for me has been simply to never say yes to anything with absolute certainty. Why? Because nothing is ever guaranteed. Things change, things happen… and not only to us, but also to others. It is often a domino effect that can impact our plans in many ways. Today, tomorrow, nothing is ever guaranteed.
In the process I have also learned to curb my emotions. You may find this odd or strange, but it has been my truth for more than four decades. In my experience, whenever I get super excited about something, it either gets taken away from me, or something happens to changes it for the worse.
Ignoring The Signs In Matters Of The Heart
Many years ago, while consoling my best friend after a major breakup, it came to me that she was doing everything possible to continue holding on to what Spirit was removing from her life.
Sitting next to her, as she held on to her laptop hoping to find her lover’s name amidst emails, was like witnessing a tragedy. It was a heartbreak that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, either directly or indirectly.
After a year-long courtship, the ‘man of her dreams’ suddenly began to distance himself without any explanation. The calls became less, the frequent text messages disappeared, and there were no longer any plans on the calendar for their usual weekend outings.
I offered my friend a shoulder to cry on, and searched my mind for the appropriate, most comforting words to speak, but I could feel her gradually pulling away. All that mattered to her at that moment was establishing a deeper connection with her missing-in-action lover.
My friend resisted my recommendation to slow down, to find her center, and most of all… to let go. Instead, she suddenly bolted from her chair, threw on her coat and scarf, and fled the scene.
Several hours later, I received a frantic call from her. While parked outside of her boyfriend’s apartment, she saw him leave with his arm around another woman. Apparently, it was very clear from their mutual displays of affection, that he was in love with someone else.
Months went by, with my friend still holding on to the false hope that her love would someday return. Meanwhile, several very nice men attempted to get her attention, but she turned down each and every one. She even received a lucrative job offer, that came with a coveted geographical relocation, but she refused it. She turned her back on this amazing opportunity for fear of moving too far away from her ex.
Change Is A Spiritual Blessing
Changes can happen at any time in your life. It is often spontaneous, but it can also be triggered by major life events, such as the loss of a partner, spouse, or anyone that you love or care about. Whatever it may be, change is what we’re hit with in these times, and it can be so scary.
We often fear change or moving on. We enjoy changing our environment or lifestyle, or letting go of the memories, but change also has so many possibilities! Sometimes it’s actually what you have been waiting for, but we hold ourselves back.
No matter how much you try to avoid it, or fear it, change is constantly taking place in and around us. Our souls are always evolving, whether we want it to, or not. We must embrace this and open ourselves to it, because change can be very positive. For example, when you know that you must leave a bad relationship, because it is toxic, or when you need to move out of a home to downsize, because it makes better financial sense.
Starting over, making new friends, being happy, this is all part of change. Sometimes we have to learn to let go of things, to have more meaning and happiness in our lives. No one should ever force you into change against your free will, but many of us also try to prevent change from happening, keeping things the way they are, because it is convenient. But then they don’t grow personally, neither do they spiritually evolve.
You Could Choose Peace Instead
It is the natural order for seasons to change. This is true on a macro scale in weather systems, and on a micro scale on our soul’s journey. Life is a constant ebb and flow, and it is useless to fight against the tides. Spirit often reminds us, when we are in a difficult season, that it is simply a part of the process of change and growth.
I read the Tarot, a divination system based on universal archetypes, which can be used to see the momentum of a person’s life. The Tarot consists of many archetypes that are challenging and even represent the darker aspects of the human experience. However, these experiences are not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’
Too often people will get a challenging message from the Tarot and they will immediately freak out. However, all of life is meant to be embraced and we all have the ability to transcend even the most challenging of obstacles.
There are two primary factors that decrease the severity of the challenges we face in life. The first is acceptance and the second is responsibility.
Becoming ‘stressed out’ over our circumstances cannot resolve the challenges we are facing. We must accept where we are and understand that we cannot change the past. We have no power over the things that led us to this moment, or to these challenges. The only thing we can do is accept the circumstances and understand that we are the only ones that have the power to make changes in our life.
There Are No Clocks In The Spirit World
I attended a lecture at the Arthur Findlay College of Psychic Research in the United Kingdom many years ago, during which I recall the speaker saying, “There are no clocks and watches in the spirit world.”
He explained further that those of us who do psychic readings must bear in mind that as much as our spirit helpers do their best to give us some indication of time-frames, timing can actually be very tricky.
He also emphasized how we tend to get obsessed with time in our world. While we are constantly racing against the clock, our ‘inner states’ change over time. Sometimes, we may feel that we are beating the clock, and it feels empowering for a while, but there often comes moments when we wish we had more time to ‘just be’ and to feel connected to the very source of our being. To truly feel the state we are in.
When we are fully aware of the state we are in, for example the beginning of depression, we are able to process it and deal with it, instead of ‘chasing our tails’ until our mind and body eventually forces us to stop… and really feel the discomfort!
More importantly, when we return to the spirit world one day, our environment there will not be determined by time, but by the state we are in when we leave our current physical body.
Learning To Trust The Universe
Maybe you have heard someone say you need to trust in the Universe. However, this is not always easy and learning to trust really is an art and a practice, particularly if you are going through a somewhat challenging time. Nevertheless, if you really work on your ability to do this, the results can be so rewarding. It can really benefit you to put your faith in the Universe, and here is how you do it
Surrender To The Flow
Believe in the power of Universal Love. Yes, the Universe really is unconditionally loving and indeed does have your back. Fully taking this on board, will help you to gently surrender to the Universal flow.
Adopt a daily mantra to affirm to yourself, such as, “The Universe totally supports and loves me unconditionally.” By doing so, you will be working with the Universe, to help you attract all that what you need in order to enjoy a full and abundant life, and also place yourself in a position where you can help others do the same.
The Universe should not be seen, however, as a mechanical dispensing system that dishes out a person’s wants and needs to satisfy their every whim. However, it is perfectly okay to work with the Universe to improve your life, as well as help other people do the same.