Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
Choose Your Life Partner Wisely
Many people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’
In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.
Releasing Toxic People In Your Life
Every person has at some point in their life had a person in their life whom they believed had their best interests at heart. Yet, that person blind-sided them by doing or saying something to knock them off kilter. This happens to the best of us.
Often we continue to believe that this person will change, that they are our true friend. But they might just be using us, and we allow it. They might take from us, and we allow it. They might advance themselves because of something we did, and then when the roles or positions are reversed, they will let greed and ego take over and knock us to our knees.
This kind of thing happens in life and in relationships all the time. I do not feel any of us is totally exempt from this – whether we were the one being used, or the one using someone else.
Calming The Stormy Waters Of The Inner Child
I walk on the beach daily, near my home. In fact, I often walk multiple times a day. This is my meditative and contemplative time, to reflect and see what areas in my life I can improve or change, what areas are working well, and what shifts are going on.
In the morning, the water can be as smooth as glass. This represents true peace, clarity and reflection. In the afternoon, the water can have three-foot to ten-foot waves, and the beach space that was so abundant in the morning, is gone. This represents the turmoil that is happening in my life and on our planet, or just what comes and goes in the daily news.
In the evening, the water settles down. It’s not quite as glass-like as in the morning, however it has a small and calming wave. This represents all the cleansing that happened during the day and the cleansing that is to happen through the night, bringing me full circle to another calm again in the morning.
I Am Responsible For Me
We all make mistakes. Each one of us has looked back on our life path and thought, if only I could go back and change it.
I wish I would have bought that house while it was still available at a lower price, because I would be on easy street by now. Or if I could go back and take that amazing job, which I did not realize was so wonderful at the time, due to my youth and inexperience, I could have retired with a huge pension and many benefits by now.
One of the biggest regret that comes up quite often, is wishing to go back and tell relatives and friends that we love them… before they passed away so unexpectedly. I have so much to say to them right now, I wish I would have said it then.
Holding On To A Broken Relationship
Are you waiting for him to return to you? Has your break-up stopped you from living your life? Have you decided that no matter what anyone has said to you, that you know that he is coming back to you? Holding on to a broken relationship is a common occurrence in many people’s lives. One person moves on, another does not.
When confronted with this dilemma, you may believe he will be back. I know him; he can’t function without me. He needs me. He knows we are spiritually connected. However, this is often not the truth of the situation. It is simply your ego egging you on to believe what you want to believe.
I usually ask people to go into their ‘gut’ and take the heart out of it. But still I will get, “My gut says he will be back.” This is ego, because the response is so quick and without breathing in and allowing your guides to give you the proper answer.
Time To Shake Out Your Rugs!
Every year when spring arrived, my mother used to say, “It’s time to shake out the rugs and get all the dust out that settled over the winter.” I never really understood what she was referring to. At the time I took it to be literal. It simply meant the rugs are dirty, so let’s shake them out and hang them on a clothesline in the fresh air. We would beat them with a rug beater, to make sure all the dust would come out. The rugs would then go back in the house, smelling fresh and looking like new.
Now that I have matured, I realize what she was referring to on a wisdom level. These days when the spring season arrives, I look at my life and say, “What do I need to get the dust out of?” And I don’t rush through this process, I truly look at the depth of what is slowing me down, from the goals I have set, or from manifesting my best reality. This year it is no different.
These past few days I have been focusing on my business life. I work out of a home office, which has been decorated with things that relate to my spirituality, including vision boards, special metaphysical items, books, cards, crystals and some office supplies, which has become an extremely cluttered mess.
My personal energy has also been cluttered lately, and I realized this while I was walking around the piles of papers on the floor. I also noticed the multitude of cards and books which no longer resonate with me, but were still sitting dormant on over-packed shelves. All this clutter was pulling the good energy out of me every time I come in here to work. Continue reading