A Few Minutes Of Daily Self-Care
I often tell my students to take some ‘me time’ each day, even if it’s only five minutes for self-care. And I have heard 101 excuses as to why someone cannot do this, ranging from parenting responsibilities and career, to house cleaning and maintenance. These excuses typically start with the words, “I have to…”
At one workshop, I had several people offer their excuses for not having even a few minutes for themselves on a daily basis. Then I narrowed it down to a simple question. When you have to go to the washroom, do you hold it in all day long, and all night, because you ‘have to’ do something else? After the laughter stopped, because I did do an exaggerated imitation of someone ‘holding it’ by rolling on the floor in agony!
And then I asked the next question. By holding it all day and night, and writhing in pain and agony, what did I accomplish? How much time did I waste focusing on this issue of ‘I have to go,’ but ‘I don’t have time.’
This is the simplest way to explain time management versus wasted energy and time. I take a bath or shower each day, as do most people. I am usually at least a few minutes under the water in some way. Water is my peacemaker and my calming force. It energizes me and charges me for the day.
The Truth About Manifesting
Spiritual seekers often ask, “Why am I struggling to manifest what I want? Why is it taking so long?” Many books and workshops on the Law of Attraction and the practice of manifesting, tend to give people the false belief that they can simply say something like, “I want a million dollars,” and then it will show up in their bank account.
I have attended many of these manifesting workshops in my lifetime, and I have watched many webinars on the subject. Most of them have one thing in common: the people leading them are charging a fee and are certainly making money. But I have yet to see their students achieve the same!
Manifesting is tricky. You have to learn to allow, and to keep your thoughts, your free will and your ego out of it. Manifesting is also guided by what you are meant to have, or the lessons that you are meant to learn from past lives, current or past karma, and even your desire to have it all ‘right now.’
We have all had experiences of thinking of a person… and then suddenly you run into them, or receive a phone call, text or email from them. Is it just coincidence, or is it synchronicity, or did you actually manifest it? Take a moment to consider this.
Divine Timing And Patience
One of the spiritual messages I receive quite often is that everything comes in Divine timing and more patience is required. It is difficult for many of my clients to digest this, as there is typically no specific date provided with this kind of message.
Sometimes Divine timing is due to our guides and angels feeling that we are not ready yet. Other time there may be blockage that has to be removed, or another reason why things are being held up. When it is in regards to a relationship with another person, it may not be that person’s time to be in your life. While you may be ready, something may have to happen to free them up.
As difficult as it seems, if you wait patiently and do not allow yourself to become frustrated, things eventually will shift. Things will start to happen at a quicker rate. If you carry negativity, frustration, anger, baggage of the past, it creates additional resistance and nothing can move forward. Often we are creating the walls and barriers that prevent the good from coming in ourselves!
Releasing A Toxic Relationship
Many of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.
So many excuses, so little truth.
It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.
It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.
You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.
Choose Your Life Partner Wisely
Many people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’
In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.
Releasing Toxic People In Your Life
Every person has at some point in their life had a person in their life whom they believed had their best interests at heart. Yet, that person blind-sided them by doing or saying something to knock them off kilter. This happens to the best of us.
Often we continue to believe that this person will change, that they are our true friend. But they might just be using us, and we allow it. They might take from us, and we allow it. They might advance themselves because of something we did, and then when the roles or positions are reversed, they will let greed and ego take over and knock us to our knees.
This kind of thing happens in life and in relationships all the time. I do not feel any of us is totally exempt from this – whether we were the one being used, or the one using someone else.
Calming The Stormy Waters Of The Inner Child
I walk on the beach daily, near my home. In fact, I often walk multiple times a day. This is my meditative and contemplative time, to reflect and see what areas in my life I can improve or change, what areas are working well, and what shifts are going on.
In the morning, the water can be as smooth as glass. This represents true peace, clarity and reflection. In the afternoon, the water can have three-foot to ten-foot waves, and the beach space that was so abundant in the morning, is gone. This represents the turmoil that is happening in my life and on our planet, or just what comes and goes in the daily news.
In the evening, the water settles down. It’s not quite as glass-like as in the morning, however it has a small and calming wave. This represents all the cleansing that happened during the day and the cleansing that is to happen through the night, bringing me full circle to another calm again in the morning.