instincts
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.
Discovering The Power Of Intuitive Guidance
I always smile when I think back to the time I discovered the true power of intuition and the inner guidance of Spirit.
I recall that Thursday afternoon as if it were yesterday. There I was, sitting on the couch in the living room. I was totally fed up and impatiently debating whether I should go and get the evening newspaper, so that I could scour the vacancies page for any job offerings.
It was September 1978 and I was only 18 years old. Unemployment was high in the United Kingdom at the time. Sadly, I was one of those jobless young people, desperate to find work.
“Relax,” said my mind, “it’s too early to go for the evening paper now. You can get a newspaper anytime until 6pm.” ”
“You must go now,” said my heart and gut, “there may just be a job offer in the paper, and it may be exactly the kind of a job you are looking for!”
I continued with this inner battle for a while, until my heart and gut finally won, and off I went. As I stepped out onto the street, I noticed that the bus was approaching at great speed. Then saw, right in front of me a baker’s van parked outside the nearby grocers and then, to my horror, a little baby boy in a buggy outside the shop. The baby’s buggy was slowly being carried by a strong wind, taking it directly towards that oncoming bus!
My heart pounded, my mouth went dry, everyone around me gasped, and time literally felt like it was standing still. All I could think of was to run. And run I did, like an Olympic athlete. Then I pushed the buggy back onto the pavement and out of the way of the oncoming bus.
Was all this a coincidence? I think not, as I was being urged by my intuition to be in a particular place, at a specific time, to stop something potentially horrible happening. Some people whom I have told this story to have just put it down to luck. All I can say is that I am glad I listened to my heart and gut, and not my head. I do not want to imagine what might have happened, had I gone a minute later for that evening paper.
The Wisdom Of Intuitive Eating
I remember reading an article many years ago about a research study conducted with children suffering from various nutritional deficiencies and food allergies. The scientists invited about 20 of these kids into a room with a table on which there was a variety of foods on display. They allowed each child to help themselves to any of the food they preferred. The outcome was astounding!
Each child chose a selection of food that their body naturally would tolerate the best. In other words, they instinctively chose foods that would not a bad for them or cause an allergic reaction. Furthermore, the children also chose more foods containing the nutrients their little bodies were lacking.
This confirmed for me the fact that our intuition or inner guidance system is not merely something we rely on when we are facing major life challenges, or when we are engaging in some form of spiritual practice. Intuition guides us every day in everything we do.
Intuitive eating is very much about honoring the temple which houses our soul. I believe we could potentially become nutritionally much healthier if we learn to trust our intuition more when we make dietary choices, instead of following fad diets and food trends.
Intuitive eating is about challenging modern society’s ‘food police,’ as well as the negative self-talk about eating and food choices many of us tend to engage in.
Intuitive eaters soon find that they eat just the right amount of various foods to nourish and satisfy their body, as they learn to truly recognize their body’s signals. Once you can do this, you are on your way to building a healthy relationship with food.
Be gentle with yourself. Avoid those magazines and influencer images on social media that prompts you to put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Don’t give energy to such things. Instead, listen to your own body. You are uniquely you, and so is your body. When you express self-love within, you will also express it outwardly. Self-love ‘turns head’s like no designer outfit can!
Do You Follow Your Head, Or Your Heart?
As a practicing astrologer, I often assist clients who are facing the head versus heart dilemma. Should they go with what their head is telling them, or should they follow their heart?
“My head tells me he’s so perfect for me. He is my dream guy on paper, ticks every box. He has a successful career, earns a solid income. He is someone my kids would love, the male role-model they so desperately need,” a client recently explained.
“But my heart feels so hesitant, like its beating for someone else I haven’t met yet. He is a great guy, but there no butterflies. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand why my heart is yearning for someone different?” she lamented.
“I can’t afford to be picky and my friends and family tell me I’m crazy to even question this incredible guy who seems to tick all the right boxes, but doesn’t put a flutter in my heart!”
The question is indeed, why would one trust an illogical feeling that can’t be quantified and measured using the neat little pros and cons list of the mind? In my Astrology practice, I have see this conundrum play out many times.
Interestingly, I find this vexing situation is often related to a Mercury Square Moon aspect in someone’s chart. Such a person will often take one side over the other, usually the head over the heart, and this habitual battle can result in a lifelong pattern of bad choices.
Culturally we’ve also been conditioned to always choose reason over feelings. And what others think often also factors too highly in a personal choice that’s best made selfishly. In my opinion, relationships are one of the few areas in life where we get to be selfish, because if we choose someone who will not make us happy, everyone will suffer in the end.
We are often told ‘trust our gut’ for good reason. Your intuition or inner guidance system knows far more than you do! But like a muscle, we must build it up, we must work it, flex it, to clearly register the signals it’s sending us.
Tapping Into Your Own Psychic Ability
Have you ever heard your name, when no one else is in the room with you? Have you ever thought of someone unexpectedly, and have that person then suddenly show up a in person, or with a phone call, a text?
Have you ever had that eerie feeling in your gut, just knowing that something bad was about to happen? Have you ever spontaneously known the answer to a question that you were not supposed to know?
All these things are related to your intuition, or innate psychic ability. Every person has some level of psychic ability. We are all using it daily, but many are not consciously aware of it. Learning to tap into your psychic intuition more consciously is not too difficult, as long as you learn to trust where it is coming from.
Do this simple experiment. Just take a moment to ask a question. Sit quietly, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Then ask your question. Just one simple question. It can even be something you already know the answer to. Start with something like, “Is my name (fill in the blank).”
Relax and sense the answer. Do you feel the ‘yes?’ Typically, you might feel it in your gut (solar plexus), or in the area of your heart. It will not come from your brain, or your mind. It will be a sense or a feeling, not a thought. Of course, your mind already knows the answer, but you want to feel a resounding yes coming from your gut.
If you don’t feel it right away, that’s okay. Take the time to do it again later. Never move onto another question until you have sensed that knowing ‘yes’ from the first one. It takes practice and patience to get your energies in alignment.
When you finally do get that gut ‘yes’, then move onto another question. Initially it is best to stick with simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions, that you already know the answers to, until you feel each answer coming from deep within. Do this quietly and slowly. It’s not a race or contest.