empath
Birth Order And The Empath
Most of us are familiar with the notion that the personality traits of the firstborn are typically different from the middle sibling, or the youngest child in the family, and so on. But many empaths do not realize how they may be impacted by their birth order in the family.
In The Birth Order Book, author Kevin Lemar gives a detailed outline of these so-called ‘birth order’ characteristics and qualities.
Firstborns, as well as only children, for example, are often associated with leadership attributes and stronger personalities, along with being more protective, fearless, and reliable than their siblings. However, the firstborn may also exhibit some less desirable traits, such as being controlling, bossy and impatient.
The middle-born tend to be social butterflies and peacekeepers, who are focused on fairness and keeping everyone happy. The youngest-born tend to be fun-loving, outgoing, creative, free spirited and can be adept at manipulating others to do things for them.
Only children tend to be mature for their age, perfectionistic and conscientious, but may feel the burden of high parental expectations.
The Firstborn Empath
My experience with empaths has been that the firstborn and only child empaths are indeed more protective, fearless, independent, reliable, but in the empath these protective instincts are magnified tenfold.
They also tend to feel it is their responsibility to solve every human problem and protect everyone around them, regardless. I often see a very enhanced sense of responsibility.
Journeys And Destinations
One often hears the saying “It’s about the journey, not the destination.’ But what does it truly mean? I believe the events of the past year has brought many of us to a deeper understanding.
The importance of the ‘journey’ became more evident with so many cultural holidays, birthday parties and family gatherings that had to be cancelled during the worst of the pandemic. For example, the significance of planning these special events became especially obvious this past Christmas, as well as the many cancelled festivals here in Spain.
The Christmas holiday season is usually a hectic time, with much hustle and bustle, including the mandatory family conflicts or ‘differences of opinion.’ But the joy of the season leading up to Christmas and New year is typically a time of excitement, especially for children.
People normally spend lots of time planning these celebrations and the excitement leading up to any gathering is often more fun than the event itself! Not having these occasions to look forward to has created a void in the lives of many people all over the world.
Instead, Christmas 2020 was a difficult time for many. It certainly brought up a myriad of personal challenges and negative emotions, particularly for those unable to visit loved ones, or not being able to have relatives home for the holidays.
Here in Spain, the locals are constantly planning their many fiestas. Each town and province has its own special festivals and cultural traditions, especially in the summer months. I have even witnessed the locals take to the streets in very cold weather, just to enjoy the vibe and camaraderie!
The Spaniards have a deep sense of community and they love letting their hair down whenever they can. Having grown used to the culture here, it made the silence of the empty streets this past year even more jarring than it might have been somewhere else.
Think Before You Speak Or Act
Sometimes, it is wise to move with caution and think things through slowly, so that we truly know what the best decision would be. This is especially true if you are one of those sensitive people who tend to be a ‘people-pleaser.’
Like the game of chess, it is smart to plan ahead and consider your options carefully. You don’t want to make a quick move, without clearly looking at what all the possible outcomes could be. We sometimes tend to make snap decisions to accommodate the needs of others, only to regret it later when we discover that it was a really bad move!
For example, if someone is asking you to do something for them or become involved in their project, and you just don’t know if you should commit yourself, you should say to that person: “You know, I’m so busy right now, I need a little time to think about it. I will get back to you on that as soon as I can.”
This way you do not have to walk away feeling you have let someone down, or harbor guilt or regret. You then take the time you need to simply think it through. Have a look at your calendar, make a few calls and decide how you really feel about this request or offer.
I believe this is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given: think through what you say and do, before you say and do it. Always consider if it is going to have a positive effect on your life and those around you. Never do anything that does not serve your highest good. It goes back to the ‘domino effect’ or the Law of Cause and Effect.
Energy Protection For Children
I just did a phone reading for client who said she was feeling as if “the life force has been sucked” from her, after she received an unexpected call from a former work associate.
In hindsight, she says, this individual had always had this effect on her when they used to work together in the corporate field many years ago. She didn’t actually put two and two together at the time, but now she realizes that it was him who used to constantly drain her energy at work. At the time, she simply put it down to work stress and exhaustion.
She was surprised to realize that, even over the phone, certain individuals have that ability to drain us! We then discussed how she could even better protect herself psychically and shield her energy field from this former colleague and other energy thieves she may encounter in life.
An interesting aspect of energy protection and psychic shielding that is seldom considered is how children are affected by the people they connect with in life. Children are exposed to various social settings and energy environments that could be toxic and negatively affect their energetic well-being.
The veterinarian I rely on for my pets told me last week that he finds his work overwhelming at times. He feels it is due to the human owners of the pets, rather than the animals themselves.
At times, he says, he finds some pet owners really exhausting, as they bring both their anxieties about their pets, plus their own personal concerns with them. I could sense what kind of clients he had been dealing with to make him feel this way and believe me it was not a pretty sight!
He then asked me about his own two sons who are growing up now and how he could advise them to shield themselves in the future from the energy drain of people, and even social media. This made me think of the increasing number of clients who have been asking me the same question. How can I protect my child from people their energy, should they find themselves in a toxic environment?
To Live Gratitude Is To Touch Heaven
One aspect of spiritual living too seldom addressed is our lack of true appreciation and gratitude for all the blessings in our lives, regardless of our circumstances.
Some spiritual seekers tend to be very keen on beating the drum of prosperity, and becoming fixated on the Law of Attraction and manifesting abundance, which is too often merely a thinly disguised obsession with material wealth and earthly comforts.
Most of us simply take too much for granted every day. We experience so many blessings of joy, beauty, forgiveness, protection and Divine grace, which we seldom acknowledge in our lives. We always have something to be grateful, or thankful for, no matter how difficult times may be. As a species we are very good at complaining about what we don’t have, but we seem to find it difficult to give thanks for what we do have.
We seldom express our gratitude and appreciation towards those we love and cherish, and we hardly ever remember to share what we have with those who have less – not because we feel obligated, but because we feel so much appreciation that we simply want to share our abundant blessings with others. Charity is not about lending a helping hand; it is about celebrating all that we have, and to share our joy and appreciation.
Research has demonstrated an indisputable connection between gratitude and spirituality. It is no coincidence that gratitude is regarded as a much cherished and valued quality by most world religions, including the Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu Jewish, and Christian traditions. When reviewing the large body of research done on the subject, gratitude seems to play a much more noteworthy role in our happiness and well-being than most other emotions and personality traits.
Several research studies in recent years have shown that people who have a tendency towards higher levels of gratitude also tend to report higher levels of psychological, emotional and physical well-being. People who are grateful have been shown to be happier, more optimistic and more content with their lives. They also appear to have lower levels of stress and depression, and they are more satisfied with their relationships and social interaction with others.
Teaching Your Child ‘Magic’
My son, who is 4 years old, is also psychic. I have nurtured his psychic ability since birth. I listened to his stories about the other side, angels and how he chose me us as his family and chose his looks. I never doubted him or questioned whether his statements and experiences were real, or not.
I also teach him about setting intentions, deliberate creation, manifesting, affirmations, energy healing and the Law of Attraction. We call it ‘creating magic.’ We wave our hands in circles and say something like, “Magic, magic, magic…sending love and healing light to protect and strengthen you!”
Whenever there is a commercial or television show about children in hospitals, or animal welfare, or experts talking about Covid-19, or anything else that causes suffering in our world, my son and I do ‘magic’ to help those people heal, or save the animals, or make the world a more loving and peaceful place.
Teaching your child these metaphysical principles not only cultivates empathy and compassion, but it also helps them feel that they are powerful and have enough agency to take good care of themselves and to help others.
I have noticed the difference between my son and other children, who have not been exposed to this kind of spiritual outlook. My son seems empowered, confident and in control, while some of his peers tend to be insecure, fearful and quick to complain that they cannot do something, or that certain things are simply too difficult for them to handle.
Because of this, my son has developed both his natural empathic abilities and his natural healing abilities way beyond his years. He even makes magical healing potions outside, using his own recipes and ingredients. I find he also is more aware of other people’s struggles and life challenges, and he is more attentive with the needs of others than some of the other kids he is sometimes playing with.
My Childhood Psychic Awakening
Being gifted from an early age, I had lots of questions, and wanted specific, detailed answers about psychic phenomena, spirituality and the paranormal. This later became my norm to everything, and the world around me. The why’s and how’s continue to fascinate me in every aspect of my life.
My spirit guides have been very helpful over the years, as I found that humans can seldom answer my questions clearly, nor adequately. Over the years, my guides provided me with the stepping stones for my personal psychic development.
My guides assured me early on that they would never give me more than I could handle. They also made it clear that the truth of anything can always be confirmed by simply asking. I believed them, and each time I had an unusual sense or feeling, I asked for confirmation. I still do.
My first paranormal encounters and psychic experiences were with the animals. Their energy and communication is easier to understand, just like my guides, and they always communicate with unconditional love. This also led to a special bond with nature, and especially the trees. Soon after came the wind, and the water, their sounds so soothing and calm. As a child, I always experienced a deep, tranquil feeling of well-being, serenity and inner peace whenever I was outside in nature. I still do.
My next extra-sensory experiences were of premonitions and forebodings concerning the safety and well-being of others. At such a young age these presentiments were tricky to relay to adults. I would sense that someone was in danger, or shouldn’t go on a trip, or should not engage with a certain person who had dark energy around them. These apprehensions seemed to constantly haunt me. How do you share such warnings with grownups who will not listen, or take your seriously?