Self-Help
Thank You For Leaving Me
Heartbreak is never easy. I have heard the words, “But I love him,” so many times after a break-up. I have also heard, “No one can replace her.” I have even heard, “I’ll never even think about another person in this way, or even try to find someone new.”
Who is this mindset hurting? Look at the reality of it. It’s not hurting the other person, who walked out on the relationship. They walked out for a reason. Often they have also moved on with someone new. The only person being hurt, by hanging on, is the person hanging on.
I have also heard, “She is my soulmate,” or “He is my twin flame.” Well, if they are not on the same page as you in this lifetime, and not committed to making the relationship work, then they are not your soulmate, or twin flame. It takes a commitment from both parties.
Love is subjective. Love has to be equal from both people involved. However, when only one has their heart and soul invested, it will never last. If someone is able to walk out on the first argument, it is definitely not meant to be. If there is ever disrespect, it is also not meant to be.
I have also been at this place in my life. I was devastated when my husband walked out. I thought I had failed, but then I realized the truth. The marriage was over long before this happened. The equality of feelings was long gone, and respect was non-existent. He controlled what I did, even how I thought at times, and was wreaking havoc on my self-esteem.
To Fester, Or Forgive
Recently, a peer did a short talk on forgiveness, as part of a healing service. Besides her being courageous, sharing aspects of her personal challenges with parents and peers, she also offered a reminder of how instrumental forgiving ourselves is in our healing journey.
The reptilian, primitive part of the brain has a default state of always monitoring its environment. The hunter-gatherer ancestral days had us on constant alert. Anxious. Awaiting possible threat by the saber-tooth tiger. But our modern brain has evolved such, that when we are not active in a task, the brain occupies itself with dwelling on the past.
The idle brain tends to ponder past events and unpleasant thoughts, that in the default state, fill us with anxiety. Pain. Guilt. Self-blame. Shame. Anger. Disappointment.
The typical memories and thoughts, that can consume us in this default state, vary. Some are large and life-changing, such as the loss of a loved one or favorite pet, financial loss, divorce, adultery, retrenchment, and physical or emotional abuse. Others are more behavioral or emotional, but can be just as debilitating.
When our life is ‘heading south’ and we cannot seem to turn things around, we tend to replay the situation. This can lead to becoming more depressed, and having more reason to doubt ourselves. A vicious cycle can result. We spin and spin…like laundry in the dryer, being tumbled. If we remain in that dryer, resentment sets in.
Cast Fear Aside And Embrace Courage!
I once read about a woman in a very unhappy relationship. She sought counsel from a highly-revered spiritual leader. In a calming tone, the spiritual guru cautioned that in order to gain marital happiness, the woman would need to let go of the partner she lacked happiness with.
The woman confusingly gazed upon the sage, with her hands tightly tucked under her chair. Again, the holy man repeated that in order for the right man to walk through the door, she would need to let go of the wrong man.
Even more puzzled, the woman confided that she was afraid of being alone. Her teacher, taken aback, turned to the woman and announced that fear was a disease of the mind and the heart – if allowed, fear would keep her in a state of perpetual unhappiness.
How many times have you missed out on life’s many blessings, because you were afraid of moving to a new place, changing career lanes, or ending a relationship with someone who did not honor your greatest dreams? Each of us has experienced these moments of stalemate consciousness in our lives, and each of us has become crippled by fear at some point.
Let me remind you that while a lack of confidence might only slow down your dreams, fear will completely get in the way of the manifestation of your greatest desires and goals. Without personal growth and courage, the formula will not change, and your life will remain the same.
Signs You May Not Be Using Your Soul Gifts
We all have soul gifts and metaphysical abilities. These gifts are meant to be used to help us fulfill our destiny, and support us along our spiritual path in this life. However, many any of us have soul gifts that are yet to be discovered.
We tend to be consumed with the hustle and bustle of life, and the latest gadgets, smart phones and social media trends. Meanwhile, we are not only unaware of the needs of those around us, we also remain unaware of our own unique, innate soul gifts and abilities. Many are sadly unaware of their reason for being.
For example, some have the gift of being a ‘master builder’ or ‘divine creator.’ They have an amazing ability to contribute to creating a fantastic new world with their imaginative powers, but they sometimes create their own imagined world so fantastic they would rather spend time there. They tend to withdraw from the reality of the materialistic world as we know it, and the people therein, when they are not using this gift.
Some people with soul gifts that are yet to be realized, may suffer from insomnia or nightmares. These unpleasant dreams come as warnings or revelations. They occur when one is not using the gifts you were given, or are not living or doing what you came to do in this life.
Some people may have unexpected or brief experiences with time travel or time slips, or even time loops. This could be the soul’s way of pointing you in a certain direction, or a time or place that the soul wants or needs to revisit. This may manifest through unexpected or unplanned astral projections, or possibly the physical body raising its vibration just briefly to make such anomalies possible. It may have one asking yourself, “Was that just a dream?”
Charity Begins At Home
My mother always said, “Charity begins at home.” But what exactly is this supposed to mean?
The first thing we might do is attempt to identify what a ‘home’ is and what it means to us. You could own a mansion, live in a studio apartment, or reside in a mobile home. No matter where we live, home is typically where we make ourselves comfortable, cook our meals, watch TV, care for our children, and rest after a long day at work. It is that safe, comfy place that we create for ourselves, based on our values and beliefs about who we are and what we hope to accomplish.
However, there is a different kind of home that each of us dwells in, that is also based on our sense of self, what belief systems we hold, and what we think we can accomplish for ourselves. This is our ‘inner home.’
In our ‘outer home’ we may have a big screen TV, state of the appliances and designer furniture. We are often so amazingly proud of ourselves, that we were able to accumulate all these luxury items that the world outside has convinced us we must have.
But then one day, we come home from work and discover someone has broken in and stolen all our expensive accumulations. What a disaster! Fortunately, these material things can easily be replaced.
Find Your Balance With Rest And Relaxation
As I made my way into 2020, with great intentions and resolutions, I found that my life was full of busyness, obligations and a calendar quickly filling up. My 2020 vision board was filled with new goals and dreams, and my employer was eager to roll out new duties and processes to an already demanding workload.
I felt hopeful for all the things I wanted to accomplish, ready to take on all of the manifesting and challenges with gusto. Determined to find balance. But, as I look back over the past few weeks, I realize that I was reluctant to get going.
I began to cut corners in my new workout regime, and my meditation practice was not as frequent and strong as I knew it could be. I was not focused on my goals and felt myself burning out quickly in all tasks. My plate was full and the harder I tried, I had to admit, I was just not into it.
I have been feeling absolutely overwhelmed by the huge amount of work I needed to catch up on. My workout goal has only been making me more tired. As I procrastinated on the items on my ‘to do list’ and the commitments piled up, I actually felt more paralyzed than motivated.
Instead of trudging further through the process in a reluctant mood, I then chose to make an abrupt halt for a few days and simply rest. Just rest. Took a break. Time out. I cleared all of my commitments and turned off connection to all work items. I had no need to get out of my pajamas for a few days. I ordered takeout and let any dishes and laundry wait for a while.
The Miracle Healing Power Of Prayer
Every month, I host a healing prayer circle. All those who show up are invited to share what has been going on in their lives. Whoever may need a listening ear or a prayer, we go to work and pray for them.
Sometimes just listening to someone else’s problems can also be very healing. Many people don’t have anyone in their lives who will listen, and sometimes people say they will pray for us, but don’t.
There is much power in prayer. I once again witnessed this with a lady who, while attending one of our prayer circles, experienced a instant healing miracle.
She is a mature woman who lives on her own and doesn’t do much else but attend a knitting group and our monthly prayer circle. During one of our gatherings she shared how grateful she was for the group and that she urgently needed a prayer for herself this time. She had never before asked that we pray for her.
She had been experiencing severe pain in her spine and painful rashes. Her doctor had examined her two weeks prior and told her she had the viral infection known as shingles. She showed us some of the rashes on her body and it was clear that this was a severe case.
We then laid our hands on her, everyone present that day, and we prayed for her. She started to vibrate. I could feel it clearly in my hands. Her entire body was subtly vibrating and two of the other women said they could feel it too. I could also perceive white energy going through her entire body, and she said she could feel it too.