Love & Relationships
The Power Of Observation
In this busy world we rarely take the time to observe things around us. Most people see and feel things only through their own personal lens. Of course, it is only normal to identify with your own feelings and the things you have seen, heard or experienced. But sometimes so much of what we believe as reality is the only way we will accept it. It is necessary in some situations to take a step back and observe a situation, look at all sides of it and try to remain neutral.
I have worked with some clients in my hypnosis practice who just can’t seem to look at a situation from a different perspective. It is much easier for people to observe someone that looks much like them on a television screen playing out a scenario. They may see, feel even hear things that could not be recalled at the time of the event. Another way is to view the scene in a different way in order to rewrite the script to achieve a different outcome by observing. The incident with a different outcome may show the possibility of different realities.
For example, when there is a car accident and four or five people witness and observe it. When questioned, the people usually all have a very different account of what happened. Through their own personal lenses they believe it as gospel. But is it really?
Your Soulmate is Not Someone Else’s Partner
Many people go through life looking for their soulmate or twin flame, while they may have already found them. To me a soulmate is simply someone you have a past life connection to and your souls cross paths again in this lifetime. It does not mean they are meant to be with you forever. It does not mean that you are meant to be lovers, partners or any other connection other than, you have been together in some capacity in a past life.
Sometimes clients who consult me about their love life are enamored with another person’s spouse or partner, and are so sure that this person is meant to be with them, instead of the person they are with. But the truth is, the Universe, Source, God, will never send you someone else’s partner to be your life mate.
I hear so often, “But I love him!” Or “We are so good together and she does not love her husband.” But these are merely empty words, or wishful thinking. Chances are you are only being used by that other person. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear. “Oh yes, my spouse and I have drifted apart.” Or, ‘My spouse treats me very badly.” Or the best one, “I’m only staying there until the kids are out of school.” These are simply lines to justify the pursuit of an affair.
Creating Space Between Yourself And The Addict
Everybody needs a little time away. Some of us need much longer. I personally know people who have been together for decades, who have found the best way for them to stay together is to give each other some space.
But some of us need even more space than others, especially those of us who are with people who struggle with substance abuse in some way, shape or form. Spirit says that you can still love someone with addiction issues, but you might need some space and time away for your own well-being. I feel strongly that it is unhealthy to stay with someone if they have an addiction, because it does not contribute to peace in the body, mind, spirit, or the home in which you dwell.
Those that have to live with someone who abuses alcohol or drugs, know how hard it can be to have a meaningful conversation or healthy relationship with that person. The energy is always of a lower vibration. And children caught up in those situations have to feel it more than the adults, who may have learned to put up a shield of protection.
We must create a space between us and the addict, in order to keep peace and harmony in the home, for ourselves and those we love and care about. Keeping a peaceful home is a responsibility not only to ourselves, but to those who we are responsible for.
Communicating Kindness – A Message From My Guides
Our focus today is on being kind to those who are close to you and improve your communication with those you love. Sometimes people are inclined to take their loved ones for granted and speak with them entirely differently than they would speak to a stranger.
It is easy to be kind when showing genuine support and encouragement, but it can be more difficult when giving disagreeable advice, or chastising. Overall, it is much more challenging to be kind when expressing any kind of criticism. To counteract these challenges, we have three recommendations that might help.
Our first proposition is to listen actively. Many people are so compelled to answer while another is speaking that they formulate their responses without actually hearing what is truly being said. They assume that they know where the conversation is going so they miss any nuance or undercurrent within the comments being made.
Staying silent without interrupting can be very challenging, especially when you are eager to expand on positive commentary or ready to disagree with every fiber of your being. It might take an inordinate amount of practice, however, if you can master the art of listening well, people will soon think of you as a great conversationalist.
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them. Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself. Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance. Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
The Presence Of Playfulness In Your Life
Consider the level of playfulness in your life. Do you allow yourself to have fun, and play? Are you so wrapped up in your past, other’s lives, work, or something else, that is blocking you from having fun, living more fully, and being playful in your life? Do you enjoy being entertained, or do you feel it’s a waste of time or frivolous?
Dig deep on this. The answers to these questions are what defines where your life is going at the moment. Yes, it is a challenge to dig deep. However, it is so essential in this day and age.
Have you become bitter, are you just walking through life, or do you still have that child-like energy to play, live out loud, entertain others, and be entertained yourself.
There are also deeper aspects to the presence of playfulness in our life. Has play disappeared because you are now in over your head and can see no way to move beyond where you are? Are you stuck or trapped in your life? Are you a person of great insight, wisdom and understanding, yet you are not filling your life with enough entertainment, fun and play?
What is your true opinion of yourself? Do you show one face to the world and another to yourself? Do you present who you truly are or become what you think the person in front of you wants you to be?
Becoming Your Best Self
Know that Spirit is always beckoning you to become your best self. Stay open for the positive to emerge and, with open arms, joyously welcome the blessings of health and wellness, inner peace and wisdom, blissful love, streams of prosperity, and all that your heart desires.
Make a huge effort to quiet the chatter in your world and listen to your inner voice. This may mean muting your television, or not checking in with social media as often. Your quiet time might also manifest through long walks in nature, or soaking in a tub of warm water scented with your favorite essential oils and surrounded by candlelight.
However you choose to silence the outside world and tune in to the sacred realm, trust that your experience will be golden as Spirit will be guiding you to become your best self ever.
Know that you have the gift and ability to visualize and actualize the life you are seeking. See your life as you would love it to be, and ask Spirit to help you define your very best self. Often we set the bar far too low for our best selves. In this manner we cheat ourselves and miss out on fulfilling the divine purpose of our lives.